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The Monty Python Thread


Evster2012

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I've seen "What the Python's Did Next" before, it's very interesting.

Just seen the secret Life which was about the making of Life of Brian which was interesting, They did it in Tunisia in a place called Monistair which I actually went to last year !!

I have seen a bit of theWhat they did next upto Cleese and Idle !! good stuff !!

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Ex-Leper: Okay, sir, my final offer: half a shekel for an old ex-leper?

Brian: Did you say "ex-leper"?

Ex-Leper: That's right, sir, 16 years behind a veil and proud of it, sir.

Brian: Well, what happened?

Ex-Leper: Oh, cured, sir.

Brian: Cured?

Ex-Leper: Yes sir, bloody miracle, sir. Bless you!

Brian: Who cured you?

Ex-Leper: Jesus did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business, all of a sudden, up he comes, cures me! One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by-your-leave! "You're cured, mate." Bloody do-gooder.

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I went to the store this morning to get some beer for tonight, and saw a bottle of "Monty Python's Holy Grail", and the label says "tempered over burning witches"! I had to buy it.

I've had a bottle of that for two years and never had the heart to open it! :D

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Dead Parrot sketch owns all.

Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour

ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?

Owner: The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!

Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the

first place was that it had been NAILED there.

(pause)

Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and

VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!

Owner: No no! 'E's pining!

Mr. Praline: It's not pinin'! It's passed on! This parrot is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! This is a late parrot! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it

rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch it'd be pushing up the daisies! It's run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

Edited by Electrophile
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Dead Parrot sketch owns all.

Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour

ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?

Owner: The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!

Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the

first place was that it had been NAILED there.

(pause)

Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and

VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!

Owner: No no! 'E's pining!

Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e

rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the

bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

Definitely one of their best! :lol:

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  • 5 weeks later...

Sergeant: Squad! Eyes front! Stand at ease. Cat confusers ...shun!

(From a following car a general alights.)

General: Well men, we've got a pretty difficult cat to confuse today so let's get straight on with it. Jolly good. Thank you sergeant.

Sergeant: Confusers attend to the van and fetch out... wait for it... fetch out the funny things. Move, move, move! One, two, one, two, get those funny things off.

Mr A: What can we ever do to repay you?

General: No need to, sir. It's all in a day's work for Confuse-a-Cat.

CONFUSE-A-CAT LIMITED

INCORPORATING

AMAZE-A-VOLE LTD

STUN-A-STOAT LTD

PUZZLE-A-PUMA LTD

STARTLE-A-THOMPSON'S GAZELLE LTD

BEWILDEREBEEST INC

DISTRACT-A-BEE

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  • 10 years later...
  • 10 months later...
  • 1 month later...
23 minutes ago, Kiwi_Zep_Fan87 said:

On this day 50 years ago, (October 5th, 1969) the BBC aired the first episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus!

Happy 50th anniversary! Thanks for all the laughs! 

20191005_221328.jpg

20191005_221405.jpg

:thumbsup: We're watching Flying Circus this evening too

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6 hours ago, LedZed66 said:
Dear Sir,
 
I would like to complain about this silly, annoying, boring, unfunny, totally unfunny, useless crap TV show Monty Python's Flying Circus.
 
Sincerely, Princess Mitzi Gaynor from the Happy Valley
 

Dear Sir

I would like to complain about the complaint from Princess Mitzi Gaynor.  It is complete and utter rubbish.

Edited by hummingbird69
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Here is a list that was released just yesterday. It is a list of the top 10 Monty Python Sketches:

https://www.slashfilm.com/best-monty-python-sketches/

These lists are subjective, but in this case, in my opinion, this list does make for an interesting discussion. While I agree with the list, there are some glaring omissions in my opinion. These are the sketches that deserve at least an honourable mention:

a) Confuse a cat

 

b) Hell's Grannies

 

c) Silly Job Interview

 

d) I'd Like To Buy A Hearing Aid

 

e) Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook

 

 

f) Spam

 

g) Argument Clinic

h) The Restaurant Sketch

i) Mrs. Premise and Mrs. Conclusion Visit Jean-Paul Sartre

Edited by Kiwi_Zep_Fan87
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  • 4 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...

On a recent plane trip I was listening to the CD compilation "Monty Python - The Final Rip Off".  Was reminded of these amazing sketches.

Novel Writing Live from Wessex

Bruces (Philosophy Department)

Australian Wines

Fish License

Travel Agent

all pure genius

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7 hours ago, John M said:

On a recent plane trip I was listening to the CD compilation "Monty Python - The Final Rip Off".  Was reminded of these amazing sketches.

Novel Writing Live from Wessex

Bruces (Philosophy Department)

Australian Wines

Fish License

Travel Agent

all pure genius

+1

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  • 1 month later...
  • 1 month later...

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