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zepyep

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Everything posted by zepyep

  1. Two ladies talking in heaven: 1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda. 2nd woman: Hi! I'm Karen. How'd you die? 1st woman: I Froze to Death. 2nd woman: How Horrible! 1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? 2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV. 1st woman: So, what happened? 2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died. 1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be alive.
  2. Hi all, Robert E. Howard The Hour of the Dragon Actually I'm writing a screen play on it,....
  3. Hi all, Camel toe!!!!! Friend from Oz sent that to me 3 weeks ago,......... KB
  4. Hi dragster,all, DB Alert!!!!!!! KB
  5. Hi all, 'tis! But,roll me in mud baby! KB
  6. Hi all, Men are such,...................................pigs! KB
  7. Hi all, It well documented that Led Zeppelin went across the 'pond' to find fame and fortune.I am not from the UK,but they were a gift to us,......where did all those 'metal' bands come from in the 80's? Eastern Europe?The USSR,let me wager,........Led Zeppelin. KB
  8. Hi all, Please,for the love of Zep,post another joke,the ploy-wags are making me gag! KB
  9. A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan > Officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and > needs to borrow $5,000. > The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the > loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500. The > car is parked on the street in front of the bank. > > > > She has the Title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the > car collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all > enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral > against a $5,000 Loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the > Benz into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. > > Two weeks later, the blonde returns. She repays the $5,000 and the > interest, which comes to $15.41. > > The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, > and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little > puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a > multimillionaire. > > What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" > > The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for > two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?" > > > a smart blonde joke.
  10. A woman standing nude in front of a mirror, says to her husband,”I look horrible, I feel fat & ugly, pay me a compliment.” He replies,”Your eyesight is perfect.”
  11. Hi all, WIFE: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again? HUSBAND: Definitely not! WIFE: Why not - don't you like being married? HUSBAND: Of course I do. WIFE: Then why wouldn't you remarry? HUSBAND: Okay, I'd get married again. WIFE: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face). HUSBAND: (makes audible groan). WIFE: Would you live in our house? HUSBAND: Sure, it's a great house. WIFE: Would you sleep with her in our bed? HUSBAND: Where else would we sleep? WIFE: Would you let her drive my car? HUSBAND: Probably, it is almost new WIFE: Would you replace my pictures with hers? HUSBAND: That would seem like the proper thing to do. WIFE: Would she use my golf clubs? HUSBAND: No, she's left-handed. WIFE: - - silence - - HUSBAND: F**K KB
  12. zepyep

    Whisky Tread

    Hi all, eagle87! that's it,a good shot of Jack and a fine beer,..... Or Gentlemen Jack,.... Cheer,Prost,salute,....over the teeth and through the gums,look-out stomach,here it comes! KB
  13. Hi all, one of my all-time favorites: The Confession: “Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl” The priest asks, “Is that you, little Johnny Parisi?” “Yes, Father, it is.” “And who was the girl you were with?” “I can’t tell you, Father, I don’t want to ruin her reputation.” “Well, Johnny, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now.” “Was it Tina Minetti?” “I cannot say.” “Was it Teresa Volpe?” “I’ll never tell.” “Was it Nina Capelli?” “I’m sorry, but I cannot name her..” “Was it Cathy Piriano?” “My lips are sealed.” “Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?” “Please, Father, I cannot tell you.” The priest sighs in frustration. “You’re very tight lipped, Johnny Parisi, and I admire that. But you’ve sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.” Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend Nino slides over and whispers, “What’d you get?” “4 months vacation and five good leads.” KB
  14. Hi all, I posted this broad before,..... If,we ever get to met/talk to these 'beautiful' men&women,they get real ugly,...fast,... KB
  15. Hi all, My day,... There I was on my way to shop at Target. ... Getting into a fight was the farthest thing from my mind ... Wasn't even on the horizon ... I was in a great mood... And then ... I rear-ended a car. So there we are alongside the road and slowly the driver gets out of the car.. (and you know how you just-get-sooo-stressed and life-stuff seems to get funny)? Yeah, well, I could NOT believe it ... He was a DWARF! He storms over to my car, looks up at me and says, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!' So, I look down at him and say, 'Well, which one are you then?' .. . . And that's when the fight started . KB
  16. Hi all, How can you all be so beautiful?Women and men alike? Egad,I am disgusted! KB ("Fat,drunk and stupid,is no way to go through life,...KB)
  17. Hi all, The bottle of Jim Beam,........it's 5 o'clock right? KB (fill er up)
  18. Hi all, Spam(not the lunch meat),scams, a- h0les,DB's,liars,cheats,punks,.........yep they are exists.And I believe it,.... Anything else? KB
  19. Hi all, But they are McCoy's,not Duponts KB( "A little tight in the chest." ~Gimli)
  20. Hi all, Don't tell the old lady,.... KB (posted Sofia before)
  21. Mrs Plant,..... Your one up!KB
  22. Hi all, Errr,you should be,I am offensive! In your life,you will have others,(warranted or not),say worse! But I meant it in a good way,as wenches and wrenches are always good! Ya never know when you need one. You kind of got me when you met Robert,....great story,,.....you wench! KB
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