I have been feeling like shit for 2 days now, so this evening, to cheer myself up, I went out to buy Big Bang Theory, complete seasons 1-5. The label said £40, but it scanned at £30. Girly didn't notice, and I didn't tell her. Bazinga!

FTFY

That's okay Cecil, you won't need to wear your reading glasses for that.

Call Me A Dawg - Temple Of The Dawg

Kylie Platt off Corrie. Hottest thing on our TV IMO.

I appear to have caught the flu or cold virus my wife had over xmas. So now I know that this time, she wasn't faking it. It's horrible, and I take back everything I ever said about her. Well most of it.

Totally agree. It's not even much of a 'buzz' really - more of a 'zzzzzz'. Having said that, I was searching in an old shaving bag (full of old pills) for some paracetamol on xmas day for my poorly wife. I didn't find any, but what I did find was a tray of Tramadol I've had for 5 years. So I took a couple, for the team. Sweet!

Are you sure it's actually broken? It might just be dislocated. The narcs are a silver lining, surely? But go easy on them jabe, it's easy to get addicted.

I'm just about to breakfast on smoked salmon, smoked mackerel pate, olive trio pave bread and a small tomato & mozzarella tartlet. In bed.

I'm sad because I had to take off my new Led Zeppelin t-shirt today which I've been wearing since lunchtime on 25th Dec, because it was getting a bit stinky. I'm worried I might already have rotted the armpits, lol. This is the first LZ t-shirt I've had in 10yrs or so. The last one was the cover of HOTH. I always felt a bit uncomfortable wearing that one.

^ hahahaha, what happened scythe, pray do tell. LMFAO.

Idk about German mustards - apart from the mustard gas they used in WW1, the dirty Hun - but I sometimes use French varieties. I think we get the distinct impression that Americans generally only like plain things.

We also gave you English Mustard, yet you insist on using that watered-down crap on your hot dogs? And don't get me started on your beer, haha.

It's just some bogus-fancy foreign word for milky coffee. We gave you the best language in the world, and now you scorn it? WTF.

Correcto. Plus there's about twice as many calories as an average lunch in those big gay coffees.

I can't drink coffee anymore, I overdid it and ended up on the Funny Farm. I used to grind my own, and would get through two large cafetieres of black coffee before lunch. But you know you're overdoing it when you end up getting accused of being hostile and/or paranoid on the phone, and your piss stinks of coffee, so I had to stop. You are all junkies but you don't realise it. Also I would rather give my money to some street beggar than hand it over to a bunch of tax evading scumbags like Starbucks, WTF. Just tea these days for me. I favour Earl Grey, or Lapsang Souchong. Far more refined.

Big Bottoms - Spinal Tap

My wife is partial to a good stuffing scythe, although I've tired of it somewhat in recent years. Your dinner sounds far more compact and digestible. Did your wife enjoy it, despite the lack of a stuffing? Or did you save that for a midnight snack?

Hearing about Piers Morgan getting stuck into Larry Pratt (how appropriate) from Gun Fetishists Of America. Now threatened with deportation. Come home, Piers, it's much nicer over here. And safer. If only some US presenters had similar levels of balls and conscience. What are they scared of? They can't be deported...then again, maybe they'd be sent to Camp X-Ray. GFOA & NRA are worse than the Phelps family IMO. Wankers.

Haha. It might as well be a 'boomstick', because she wields it like a deadly weapon, lol. Come to think of it, she was even complaining about the xmas debris on the kitchen floor last night. I was pleasantly surprised that she didn't offer to shove it up my arse. The broom, I mean.

Another thing that's just made me unhappy is The Royle Family Xmas Special. This steaming turd of a show appears to have become the BBC's regular choice of Xmas Night Comedy Blockbuster. WHY??? I sat through 15min of this bollocks, waiting for the Father Ted Xmas Special (a repeat) to start on Channel 5. Quite apart from the fact that it features two of the most obnoxious twats ever to appear on British TV (Caroline Aherne, and that fat Scouse fuck Mike Basset), it is just not funny. I mean, what kind of a fucking pond-dwelling moron do you have to be to find this show amusing? Still, it could have been worse. At least nobody in my family wanted to watch Downton Abbey. What the fuck has happened to our quality TV shows?