Mean Girl - Status Quo.

It's quite mild today, but it is overcast. Anyone know how to use a washing machine!!!!! Apparently it's a good drying day as it's windy. (According to my wife)

Probably a new Aldi store, they're opening them up everywhere lately !!

Livin' Lovin' Maid (she's just a woman) - Led Zeppelin

I'm the same, my neighbours are the same age as me but they have no interest in music. I went to their 40th wedding anniversary and they had no music playing AT ALL!! What happened to the days when you would go to someones house and the first thing that you did was to go through their record collection.

I am about to watch the "Bad Taste" DVD, I love it, it's sick!!!!

I've just spent an hour and a half filling in a job application.........only for it to tell me that it hasn't been recognised, then I was told to complete the application again. It was only for a job in Aldi, I couldn't believe the information they required.

Mary had a Little Lamb - Wings

He's not that easy to forget !!!!!!!! Sorry.

It's a Wonderful Life on DVD, black and white of course.

Young Girl - Gary Pucket and the Union Gap

I only had it for a few weeks, it was written off when some nob didn't see me and I crashed right into him. Then I got a Kawasaki S1 triple 250.........I still have it!!!!!

I'm having a sausage dinner from the chipshop.

I had just started working for the Post Office, it was my first motorised vehicle, when I think back, it was an embarassment, it sounded like a jar full of wasps.

As from tomorrow morning I have the house to myself, no headphones YES!!!! Only until Sunday night though.

On Friday 13th December 1974, I was riding my Fantic Chopper down a dual carriageway, a car came across the carriageway, didn't see me and I hit him full on in the side of his car, I went through the air for a few yards.....The result, a cut on my right knee, the bike was written off. Scared the sh*t out of me.

Don't Stop - Fleetwood Mac

I was at the checkout in Tescos last night, I'd done the monthly shop so the trolley was full to the brim, a little old man stood behind me with just a bottle of milk. I said to him I that all you've got, smiling he said Yes....I said well you'd better go to another till cos I'm going to be here for a while. I also got ripped off by Amazon, I spent £50 on a penis enlarger....the bastards sent me a magnifying glass.

My wife packed my bags for me today and threw them on the front garden, she said I wish you a slow and painful death you bastard. I said so now you want me to stay then. A son asked his Dad if it was true that in some parts of the world a man does not even know his wife until he gets married. The Father replied it's like that all .over the world. I'm knackered, I spent two hours defrosting the fridge last night........she calls it foreplay!! My wife and I have been suffering severe depression for a long time now, so we made a pact to both commit suicide. When she killed herself I felt strangely better, so I thought f*ck it I'll just soldier on. Sorry ladies!!!!!

That's what my Doctor prescribed for me.

How do you turn a fox into an elephant? - Marry it

Back in the USSR - The Beatles

The Who - Wont get fooled again.

Coming Up - Paul McCartney

Jesus is captured by a baying mob and thrown into a hole in preparation for stoning, he looks up at the crowd and says "Let he amongst you who is without sin cast the first stone" there is a silence within the crowd, then someone shuffles through the crowd and Splat a rock hits him on the head. Dazed and bloodied he looks up and says "Mother, sometimes you make me sick"