Mother's Day is a day of reflection for me, as I'm sure it is for all children. Yes, I think of my mom on this day, though I consider her feelings daily, and try my best to show my gratitude for her dedication and unconditional love. But I also I think about the worst Mother's Day I ever had. I think about my freak accident; the shock, the incompetent nurses who were letting me bleed to death. I think about the moment I was preparing to give in to unconsciousness when, as if heaven sent, I saw my beautiful mother through the hospital window and was reminded of why I needed to hang on. And I think about the paramedic, who was actually a working blues harpist, and how we talked of music, and how his heart was so kind, working very hard to give me hope...
I think about all the time that has passed since then; how that accident made me a prisoner at a job I already hated, the inconsiderate people, the jokes, the severe depression, the fear, the yearning, all the obstacles and how my stubborn-ass was yet another instance of proof for the medical community of when you love something so much, you can do anything you set your mind to, even if your body is telling you 'no'.
And I think about how it was all worth it, because as much as I thought I had lost that day, I gained and grew in ways I'm not sure I would have without that freak accident on Mother's Day,
That day has impaired me only to empower me. Being able to look back on it all without feeling sorry for myself, and really knowing that misery is actually a blessing in disguise, the ability to move forwards instead lingering in the past makes me very happy today.