That's a very ignorant thing to say on your behalf I should we all should just brush off our problems now, no matter how serious they are. She's trying to address her serious problem, and your comment made it seems as if it was just a trivial boo-boo.

Thank you very much, KB I can't tell you how much I'm relieved. I will PM you if anything is bothering me. I read a thread that you have some type of job helping rape victims.

It's not as easy as following a proverb. Going through all these experiences I went through, my perception on helping myself vs helping others is thrown out of whack. Maybe I do need to make myself happy first, but I don't ever fully realize it. And I guess I sacrifice my happiness for my family members because I was brought up to feel guilty. I guess I'm saying I'm sacrificing my personal happiness by not living life like most teenagers do[dating and all that] even though I want to. I dedicate time to helping my family even if I feel as it's too much dedication. Sometimes, they can help themselves. Also, everyone except for my father, thinks I'm guilty for being sexually assaulted as a little child. You see, I feel guilty about something I shouldn't. If I told anyone, I'd bring a bad reputation to the family. It was all a hype though because I did get external help. But from the time I was 12 to when I was 17, I guess I did sacrifice so much out of..... "guilt" I appreciate you trying to help, I really do, it's just that it's never been an easy ride at all. Every night, I've been getting nightmares about being brutally raped, because somehow I feel as if I deserve it because the first perpetrator was able to escape. But, I will help myself. Following a proverb just doesn't register with me at the moment.

Trust me, I also focus so much on my family. I sacrifice a lot for them. But sometimes, strategically planning ways to cause the least offense to our family, we need to focus on ourselves and make ourselves feel better

Bustle, I'm very sorry. I know how that feels, trust me. I hope you found resources to help you out. It has its cycles, I know

I'm sorry, what is this? and with a huge question mark.

I am sorry for how you're feeling, but I can't be qualified to help you. If you can relate this depression to an event you experienced, it'd be different than clinical depression A therapist would help you, and there should be therapists who have you pay only what you can afford [so it doesn't have to be expensive]

It's alright. I won't judge you. You've come a long way, and you are living with it. That is remarkable enough. Well, I know there's some controversy over the meds, but as long as you're feeling as if you're healing and taking the meds properly, that is what matters.

Wow, I didn't expect this, not bad, not bad

Vatican forgives John Lennon for Jesus remark 11/22/2008 3:00 PM, Reuters VATICAN CITY (Reuters) – The Vatican's newspaper has finally forgiven John Lennon for declaring that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ, calling the remark a "boast" by a young man grappling with sudden fame. The comment by Lennon to a London newspaper in 1966 infuriated Christians, particularly in the United States, some of whom burned Beatles' albums in huge pyres. But time apparently heals all wounds. "The remark by John Lennon, which triggered deep indignation mainly in the United States, after many years sounds only like a 'boast' by a young working-class Englishman faced with unexpected success, after growing up in the legend of Elvis and rock and roll," Vatican daily Osservatore Romano said. The article, marking the 40th anniversary of the Beatles' The White Album, went on to praise the pop band. "The fact remains that 38 years after breaking up, the songs of the Lennon-McCartney brand have shown an extraordinary resistance to the passage of time, becoming a source of inspiration for more than one generation of pop musicians," it said. Lennon was murdered in New York in 1980. (Writing by Deepa Babington; editing by Keith Weir) Source

Thank you ally very much, I can always pick myself up and my friend did a great job at it too. but I never really notice that little things like that can really affect my day. And I like your trees metaphor, I never heard that one

Thank you very much, even that smiley cheered me up tremendously. I really appreciate it

I never realized how much I appreciate a thread like this. I mean, it just hit me today, because I have groups of friends that I tend to sway back and forth to, and one group is very cynical and bland to the point of annoyance. I mean, they seriously criticized a positive friend of mine because they think she's completely lying about her emotions most of the time when she truly expresses her positive outlook on life. But she is a positive person, naturally. So, I didn't realize it until a favorite song of mine's came on the radio and I just sort of yelped cheerfully, "Oooh, I love this song". Only because of that, they looked at me as if I was a complete psychopathic maniac all because I had a positive reaction to something. Then I felt the positive energy dwindling downwards and my smile fading. Then, I just walked away, without their notice, and I just went to my positive friend and she gave me a pat and stated, "don't worry, some people like to drain happiness from others because they're way too miserable about little things." So, that made me happy today and I really appreciate this thread a lot more because a positive attitude from people really does make life's serendipitous moments more of a treat.

You're very, very welcome. I did mean a doctor in alternative medicine if the conventional methods don't work. I also wish to see the mental illness taboo tag erased, but that happens with education and tolerance. If people are ignorant and intolerant, they have a lot more problems than the ones with the 'illness'.

Oh my, that is quite a shocking and saddening ordeal for you. I wish I could give you all the resources to finally end it. I really do. But please know that all those murders, that burglary, your mother being ill, it's really isn't any of your fault, it really isn't. That is a huge burden for anybody to carry. Please know that those unfortunate events had to happen to such person and it's unjust that it happened, and it's not anything you did. Now, please, you need to realize you had a setback. You didn't fail, you just got set back. Once you realize this, you can always go back to school. You can always pick up the pieces and go back to where it started to go wrong. You have a strong spirit too because you refuse to let it all go wrong again. This attitude, even if you don't believe it, will help you in the end. It really will. It's so difficult to pick our feet up and move to the next level of our lives, but it's not impossible. What we all need in life is trusted people who will support us. When we have social support, we feel encouraged enough to try again. It might sound intimidating, but perhaps a visit to an alternative doctor can perhaps help. I mean, anxiety is a serious deal and I think you need a second opinion. I am proud of your perseverance, and please persist even through the hardest of times. I really wish I could take it all away.

Thank you ally, and please listen to me. I don't care if that case isn't as severe as mine, it's still severe. He was victimized in this case, and that is what matters. I am absolutely infuriated with the way the police handled it. I absolutely sympathize with your son and his friends here, and I feel as enraged as he does. He definitely didn't receive justice for what happened to him, and in my eyes, he's as much as a victim as I am, a victim to the way life treated us. All my condolences to him. Your words are too kind, Aquamarine, and it's because of words like yours that offer a bit of relief from trying to tackle this demon myself. One thing that bothers me Aqua is that when people hear the words, sexual assault or abuse or anything related to it, they just grow so repulsive. Well, guess what, it happens. And they have the luxury to go home and forget about those words, but I am the one who goes home and has it stuck within me for the rest of my life. And your maturity makes me realize, even more, that it's not a topic to shy away from and can be dealt with maturely. It's sensitive, but it doesn't mean it doesn't happen. I'd rather save a life with the gruesome details than to repress it all just to spare embarrassment. It does happen, and I wish it could stop. But as for me, I've got a bit of a chip on my shoulder, but I will persevere. Thank you very much for your input. Thank you very much, and I am glad you've got to vindicate yourself. You keep your head up and you stay strong. I am proud of you too, and I'll be just alright.

You're a very sweet person, Mindy, and I appreciate your time to answer this. Your input doesn't make just me feel better, but everyone who was caught in this dismal and unfortunate circumstance. It takes guts to response so positively to something most people shy away from because "eek, that's seems serious." and that goes for you too, Suz.

Thank you Suz, thank you very much. I spared everyone the details but I would like to make people aware that it is a severe crime and it does have negative effects on the person. It goes so much more beyond my internal, violated wrecked soul, it provides a stigma for us, by those who never understand the brutality of the crime. Many, besides my mother, think it's not a big deal, and I wonder what is a big deal then. I can't trust some of my friends because they'll say 'oh that's bad' and then, ten seconds later, they'll focus on someone else so much more. It's okay though because I don't need their condolences. I support my friends, all the time, but they don't really return the favor too much. So I don't really talk about my problems so much anymore. Immature guys don't want anything to do with you: they shame the sexual crime victim because she is soiled, and she must have so much emotional baggage. They don't want to deal with her, they've got problems of their own. They run for the hills. They give you the chance, you open up, then you become ostracized immediately. It takes a noble and kind man to comfort you and make you realize the beauty of a relationship, it doesn't take just a man or a testosterone-fueled teenage junkie. I don't want any relationship right now. Family members tell you to shush up about it: don't tell the school social worker, don't tell the therapist, don't tell your trusted friends, you'll ruin our reputation. You'll make us seem like crazy psychopaths, shut up. Then they would say 'why did you wear this?' 'why didn't you say that' and try to excuse this man's actions. Only my father cares and says, "if only I knew and could have called the police" Heck, I see advertisements on the internet for pedophile and sexual assault perpetrators defense system. Their slogan, "avoid jail". So the ones who have caused such devastation in others is off the hook while the victims still suffer and others will suffer. It makes me not want to step out the door. We are lucky we survived because we could have easily been killed. Many of us victims have a hard time trusting anybody because if it seems like no one cares when you've been assaulted and raped, why else would they care about you? We become abandoned, we feel shame, and we feel a strong anxiety in any situation which will drag us down again to the same standpoint. We become wary and sensitive of our surroundings. We wake up with terrifying, vivid nightmares as if we're living it over again. The flashbacks reel back in our mind like a detailed movie. Anything can trigger this: people joking about rape, a violent movie scene, a scent, a yell. It affects us so much that we literally are shaking, thinking about it to the point of illness and depression, tumultuously shaking our eating and sleeping habits to abnormality. To cope with it, many have abused drugs, became prostitutes, and committed suicide. We have felt alone, and I have felt alone for many years because it's something no one can understand unless they've been through it, and many can ridicule you for, twisting it and finding some way to blame it on you. It was difficult to open up. But, I have fought and conquered this psychological burden since I was 12 years old. And I needed to look after myself, so I need to gain independence and strength on my own. I am to the point of feeling liberated, and so are many rape victims who then realize they are survivors. They say the only thing worse than being raped or sexually assaulted is being murdered. And I felt like I needed to open up because it shouldn't be taboo and it's something people cannot be ignorant about. It effects children, teenagers, adults, and elderly people. It affects males and females. It affects family members and strangers. It affects prostitutes and nuns. It's a global act of brutal domination and that's why it's a common tool against the innocent in the worst of battlefields. And it's condolences like yours, Suz, an understanding like yours that helps us become survivors after we became victims. And to anyone who has been victimized, who's a bit timid to share it, you don't have to and you're a magnificent person who just got caught in the worst of circumstances. You may feel like a victim, but trust me, you will be alright. You've already been through the worst and now it comes to just straightening the aftermath after such a downfall. You will become a survivor. Just find that beacon of hope, even though it became obfuscated.

Personally, I found that confiding in a therapist is so much more easier for me than to confide in a friend. My teenage friends don't know how to react to the fact that yes, I was sexually assaulted. In fact, they are the ones that told me to get over it, most of them, but not all. But they can't deal with something like that, they're only teenagers who haven't been through it. Trust me, they let me know they haven't been through it. My mom told me to get over it. This wasn't something I could get over and it was affecting me to the point in which I wanted to, very honestly, abuse LSD and other drugs to 'get over' my problems because Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is not easy to deal with. Honestly, telling my so called friends didn't help me at all, they criticized me. One session I had with the therapist, and she completely understood what I went through; she did not at all make me feel spineless or guilty, and she helped me so much more than anyone has ever helped me in my life. She's not allowed to share this information with anybody outside the office, it's against the law. However, I'm sharing a lot, though not all the details. Yes, it can be a scary thought to trust somebody who's a stranger, and not all therapists are the same. But, I know it was the right step for me, and it can be the right step for someone else. No one has to go, but it can be worth it if they believe they can confide in the therapist. And talking to someone who doesn't know you helps because they don't judge you and they are never disgusted by it because it's their living to deal with similar cases. Someone who knows you can judge you a lot more, but health care professionals shouldn't be that type of person. Some stray away from that value, but definitely not all of them do. I'm sorry if I sound hard-hitting but I just want to explain it calmly. I really do want to loosen the [i wouldn't say stigma, maybe confusion] with therapy. I'm merely sharing my input to hopefully inspire someone else because everything I've been through and am going through is absolutely real. I want them to know that they're not alone, and there are so many resources in which they can receive help, including professional resources. Whatever the person chooses, it's not helpful to bottle up and repress strong, overwhelming mental trauma and distress. It needs to be let out or it will negatively affect the person.

It's okay, Jarlaxle, some issues are too hard to handle that sometimes you do need professional help. There's nothing wrong with it at all, but you do ultimately control what you want with your life. I was a bit wary on professional help, but one session has released so many burdens from my back. It's important to find the right counseling center, one that is reputed for its services, not any random one. These people really are caring and they have battled traumatic experiences themselves and really do want to console other people who are going through tough times with a toll on their emotional health. And hopefully, it's covered by insurance. I feel as if counseling was the right step for me, but you may feel differently. It's all up to you.

I am so glad so many considerate people understand this seemingly stigmatic issue. I already shared this on another thread, but I have been sexually assaulted as a child several times, and in many cases, attempted rape. Basically, I didn't know what to do as a child except to fend the perpetrator off with my own bare hands. I finally had to share it with my parents, and by then it was too late because he managed to flee like a migrating goose. Well, it definitely did negatively affect me as a young teenager, and I have definitely contemplated drug abuse to 'get over it'. I never did dwindle into drug abuse. My mother was understanding of me, but she thinks it's something you 'get over'. It also doesn't help because she believes it's purposely my fault that I didn't yell for help when it was happening. I definitely know I suffered Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and I had to manage to help myself for five years. I don't know but I somehow did manage my life in aspects such as making friends. I am still wary about having a boyfriend, but I know I want to express my love to a man who understands what I went through. It's that if a guy even slightly touches me, I get physically shook up. I do want to trust a loving and caring man. Now, I know it comes back to haunt me once in a while, but I finally was able to get therapy. It's helping me now and the therapist is completely considerate and kind. I want to congratulate everyone for sharing their stories because it's difficult to articulate when so many people ridicule 'mental illness' like the person is a psychopath. But that is other people's ignorance, and I wish I could just really show everyone that I really do admire their coming out.

Pretty sweet, I've never seen this one before. But his hair looks like it was vacuumed sealed that way from a hat, probably was

Don't you love it when you were thinking of a song all day and wanted to listen to it and the second you turn on your radio, it starts playing. Like it was a godsend

I did, but I won't post them