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Everything posted by DeepBlackZeppelin

  1. You're a very sweet person, Mindy, and I appreciate your time to answer this. Your input doesn't make just me feel better, but everyone who was caught in this dismal and unfortunate circumstance. It takes guts to response so positively to something most people shy away from because "eek, that's seems serious." and that goes for you too, Suz.
  2. As much as it feels difficult right now, it will help you grow. I definitely know how the people you think you can trust the most can really not care less about you. I definitely know how it feels. But, because the people you are surrounded with neglect your feelings, it's becomes imperative that you trust yourself the most. You can become your own best friend. At this point, you don't need people to define you. You are already a strong individual. You're too good to make yourself suffer because of how other people treat you. You're defeating yourself because you feel as if people don't care about you. And since everyone cannot be trusted, you can rise from the ashes and realize that I am so strong to persist even with this burden. That's what I had to do, and I know you can do it too [sounds a tiny bit corny right now]. Once you built your own self-esteem, you can still maintain your sweetness but be that powerfully-willed INDIVIDUAL who doesn't need to cause anguish in himself. It takes a bit of time, but if in any way, you can realize the importance in yourself, other people cannot alter the monolithic soul you have forged within yourself. When you come to this stage, you can start by making friends with trusted, noble people. Rushing yourself in a relationship, for the sake of a relationship, is a damaging way to start a relationship. You already have persisted through so much, you just need to push yourself a little bit more to completely trust yourself first and know that you are your own priority at this point, not an asshoe friend, not a girlfriend, not a mistrustful parent. Through the experiences I've been through, that I shared too much about already, I realized that sometimes, you're not to blame for the reason people ignore you. It's their issues. I know that I stand like a stable monolith because I don't need people to define me. I survived childhood sexual assault, I know need to nurture my individual soul so that fact will resonate. You try to be your best around people and guys, and they dump you because you open up to them about your past experiences, and then they don't want to deal with you because you must have some emotional baggage that they can't deal. I am still the same person they met, I've just survived through a traumatic experience. So, why is it my fault that I 'may be a bit emotional' for something that happened to me against my will, my dignity. What does that make them? I'll tell you, they are spineless cowards that can't handle a strong woman. They just want to manipulate your image because they are truly the 'emotional ones'. The perpetrator is also a coward because he fled before he could be punished. You see why some people aren't good to start relationships with, and you are mostly important in your life [at this point in your life], Rick?
  3. Thank you Suz, thank you very much. I spared everyone the details but I would like to make people aware that it is a severe crime and it does have negative effects on the person. It goes so much more beyond my internal, violated wrecked soul, it provides a stigma for us, by those who never understand the brutality of the crime. Many, besides my mother, think it's not a big deal, and I wonder what is a big deal then. I can't trust some of my friends because they'll say 'oh that's bad' and then, ten seconds later, they'll focus on someone else so much more. It's okay though because I don't need their condolences. I support my friends, all the time, but they don't really return the favor too much. So I don't really talk about my problems so much anymore. Immature guys don't want anything to do with you: they shame the sexual crime victim because she is soiled, and she must have so much emotional baggage. They don't want to deal with her, they've got problems of their own. They run for the hills. They give you the chance, you open up, then you become ostracized immediately. It takes a noble and kind man to comfort you and make you realize the beauty of a relationship, it doesn't take just a man or a testosterone-fueled teenage junkie. I don't want any relationship right now. Family members tell you to shush up about it: don't tell the school social worker, don't tell the therapist, don't tell your trusted friends, you'll ruin our reputation. You'll make us seem like crazy psychopaths, shut up. Then they would say 'why did you wear this?' 'why didn't you say that' and try to excuse this man's actions. Only my father cares and says, "if only I knew and could have called the police" Heck, I see advertisements on the internet for pedophile and sexual assault perpetrators defense system. Their slogan, "avoid jail". So the ones who have caused such devastation in others is off the hook while the victims still suffer and others will suffer. It makes me not want to step out the door. We are lucky we survived because we could have easily been killed. Many of us victims have a hard time trusting anybody because if it seems like no one cares when you've been assaulted and raped, why else would they care about you? We become abandoned, we feel shame, and we feel a strong anxiety in any situation which will drag us down again to the same standpoint. We become wary and sensitive of our surroundings. We wake up with terrifying, vivid nightmares as if we're living it over again. The flashbacks reel back in our mind like a detailed movie. Anything can trigger this: people joking about rape, a violent movie scene, a scent, a yell. It affects us so much that we literally are shaking, thinking about it to the point of illness and depression, tumultuously shaking our eating and sleeping habits to abnormality. To cope with it, many have abused drugs, became prostitutes, and committed suicide. We have felt alone, and I have felt alone for many years because it's something no one can understand unless they've been through it, and many can ridicule you for, twisting it and finding some way to blame it on you. It was difficult to open up. But, I have fought and conquered this psychological burden since I was 12 years old. And I needed to look after myself, so I need to gain independence and strength on my own. I am to the point of feeling liberated, and so are many rape victims who then realize they are survivors. They say the only thing worse than being raped or sexually assaulted is being murdered. And I felt like I needed to open up because it shouldn't be taboo and it's something people cannot be ignorant about. It effects children, teenagers, adults, and elderly people. It affects males and females. It affects family members and strangers. It affects prostitutes and nuns. It's a global act of brutal domination and that's why it's a common tool against the innocent in the worst of battlefields. And it's condolences like yours, Suz, an understanding like yours that helps us become survivors after we became victims. And to anyone who has been victimized, who's a bit timid to share it, you don't have to and you're a magnificent person who just got caught in the worst of circumstances. You may feel like a victim, but trust me, you will be alright. You've already been through the worst and now it comes to just straightening the aftermath after such a downfall. You will become a survivor. Just find that beacon of hope, even though it became obfuscated.
  4. Personally, I found that confiding in a therapist is so much more easier for me than to confide in a friend. My teenage friends don't know how to react to the fact that yes, I was sexually assaulted. In fact, they are the ones that told me to get over it, most of them, but not all. But they can't deal with something like that, they're only teenagers who haven't been through it. Trust me, they let me know they haven't been through it. My mom told me to get over it. This wasn't something I could get over and it was affecting me to the point in which I wanted to, very honestly, abuse LSD and other drugs to 'get over' my problems because Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is not easy to deal with. Honestly, telling my so called friends didn't help me at all, they criticized me. One session I had with the therapist, and she completely understood what I went through; she did not at all make me feel spineless or guilty, and she helped me so much more than anyone has ever helped me in my life. She's not allowed to share this information with anybody outside the office, it's against the law. However, I'm sharing a lot, though not all the details. Yes, it can be a scary thought to trust somebody who's a stranger, and not all therapists are the same. But, I know it was the right step for me, and it can be the right step for someone else. No one has to go, but it can be worth it if they believe they can confide in the therapist. And talking to someone who doesn't know you helps because they don't judge you and they are never disgusted by it because it's their living to deal with similar cases. Someone who knows you can judge you a lot more, but health care professionals shouldn't be that type of person. Some stray away from that value, but definitely not all of them do. I'm sorry if I sound hard-hitting but I just want to explain it calmly. I really do want to loosen the [i wouldn't say stigma, maybe confusion] with therapy. I'm merely sharing my input to hopefully inspire someone else because everything I've been through and am going through is absolutely real. I want them to know that they're not alone, and there are so many resources in which they can receive help, including professional resources. Whatever the person chooses, it's not helpful to bottle up and repress strong, overwhelming mental trauma and distress. It needs to be let out or it will negatively affect the person.
  5. It's okay, Jarlaxle, some issues are too hard to handle that sometimes you do need professional help. There's nothing wrong with it at all, but you do ultimately control what you want with your life. I was a bit wary on professional help, but one session has released so many burdens from my back. It's important to find the right counseling center, one that is reputed for its services, not any random one. These people really are caring and they have battled traumatic experiences themselves and really do want to console other people who are going through tough times with a toll on their emotional health. And hopefully, it's covered by insurance. I feel as if counseling was the right step for me, but you may feel differently. It's all up to you.
  6. I am so glad so many considerate people understand this seemingly stigmatic issue. I already shared this on another thread, but I have been sexually assaulted as a child several times, and in many cases, attempted rape. Basically, I didn't know what to do as a child except to fend the perpetrator off with my own bare hands. I finally had to share it with my parents, and by then it was too late because he managed to flee like a migrating goose. Well, it definitely did negatively affect me as a young teenager, and I have definitely contemplated drug abuse to 'get over it'. I never did dwindle into drug abuse. My mother was understanding of me, but she thinks it's something you 'get over'. It also doesn't help because she believes it's purposely my fault that I didn't yell for help when it was happening. I definitely know I suffered Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and I had to manage to help myself for five years. I don't know but I somehow did manage my life in aspects such as making friends. I am still wary about having a boyfriend, but I know I want to express my love to a man who understands what I went through. It's that if a guy even slightly touches me, I get physically shook up. I do want to trust a loving and caring man. Now, I know it comes back to haunt me once in a while, but I finally was able to get therapy. It's helping me now and the therapist is completely considerate and kind. I want to congratulate everyone for sharing their stories because it's difficult to articulate when so many people ridicule 'mental illness' like the person is a psychopath. But that is other people's ignorance, and I wish I could just really show everyone that I really do admire their coming out.
  7. I completely concur, it's so hard to share a traumatic experience because people are always so sharp and quick to judge. But once you do, and the person is understanding, it really does help.
  8. Thanks for that. It's very kind of you to say
  9. Sorry about that, I didn't fully understand that. I still strongly repeat what I said before, just replace suicide with whatever term is necessary.
  10. I am very sorry for your loss, wanna be. I know it's difficult to deal with and there's a plethora of confusing emotions to try to deal with, and it's difficult to try to decipher how such a good friend could die in such a way and of course, some of his loved ones are going to feel guilty because they'll feel like they could have prevented his overdosing. But it's not the place nor the time, nor will it ever be, to point fingers,try to dig inside his mind to find a fault, or interrogate anyone who knew about this. [i'm not talking about you personally] Now is the time for his loved ones to band together, emotionally heal together, and then revere him as a person. It's a hard issue to handle, and I know how hard it can be, but it can be done and I'll tell you why Before I was 12 years old, I was a sexual assault victim and was almost raped a few times before. I entered high school and absolutely thought about dwindling into drug abuse and suicide. But, somehow, I fought it all and I tried my best to deal with this cornucopia of frustrating emotions by myself. I went through this cycle for 5 years and now I admit I need to go to therapy, which I am. I just want to let you know, through my own personal experience, that traumatic experiences, whether it'd be sexual assault or the suicide of a friend, is never going to be easy to deal with. But with the right resources, you can heal, albeit it'll take some time. You do what you need to healthily heal yourself, and he's always going to be your friend. He's always going to be within your memory. It's difficult to know that, but you'll come to a point of venerating him as a person.
  11. I really think it sounds like a wheezy laugh, so it's a cross between a sigh and a laugh. I read somewhere on some Led Zeppelin site that it's definitely a laugh. I don't really want a whole argument about this, sorry, I guess it is what it is to whoever listens to it.
  12. Yes it is a laugh as confirmed on songfacts.com never mind, it's not on songfacts, but I do know it's a laugh.
  13. Pretty sweet, I've never seen this one before. But his hair looks like it was vacuumed sealed that way from a hat, probably was
  14. You can still "steal" lyrics from a song, that is called plagiarism. Royalties can't be given to the original artist if the other artist does not, at all, credit the original artist. Willie Dixon didn't gain the royalties to Whole Lotta Love until he took them to court. Now borrowing can be known as simply gaining influence from another artist, but taking the influence and making it your own. When lyrics are copyrighted and you take the lyrics, word by word or incredibly close to it, and credit the stolen lyrics as your own, that is still a lawsuit waiting to happen. Even if it isn't of substance, the artist shouldn't strictly and directly steal from the original artist, for he gains money, and every single cent of it, for something that is not of his creation. If he twists it to the point in which it cannot be directly correlated to the original source, that is a risk but most likely, not a successful lawsuit waiting to happen Plagiarism and influence are different, and that is what separates the background of songs like Communication Breakdown and Whole Lotta Love apart. And for that, you did point out the errors of their ways, and they did comply to it.
  15. You have some great points, but aren't all singers basically poets, who just express their poetry in a melodic voice?
  16. If you're talking about the Holocaust, Wannabe already stated his opinion about how it'd be the argument against it, because the religious followers would be the victim.
  17. I'm new to this thread, so I don't know if he's been mentioned before, sorry I was thinking of James Franco, and I like his acting, but I don't really go all gaga over the way he looks But I'll provide eye candy for those girls who do go gaga over his looks I like how he looks with long hair though
  18. After Michael Cera, there'll be another teenage heartthrob, and after him, another, and after him, another. Most teenage girls I know don't even think Michael Cera is that cute. If you're talking about Judd Apatow projects, James Franco is the one they go craziest over. There's nothing we can do about it except one simple thing: not watch the movies.
  19. I don't post here so much, but when I get to read the boards sometimes, I love how your posts have the snarky humor yet have a strong backing of common sense behind it. I also appreciate the fact that you take the time to look beyond biased stereotypes when evaluating a person.

  20. Unfortunately, it's still going to be an addiction because oil is used for much more than the gas for our cars. A few of the thousands of products made from oil
  21. Unfortunately, it's just one of those problems we just hope won't affect us or it'll just mildly dissolve away. And being the family's breadwinner is definitely obsolete in whether you'll be provided when the time comes or not, I heard many of those stories you've mentioned. [oh yeah, the ocean can make you sick too, so I guessed it's evened out, specially here in Long Island, NY]
  22. Don't you love it when you were thinking of a song all day and wanted to listen to it and the second you turn on your radio, it starts playing. Like it was a godsend
  23. The group is Dave Clark Five. The song is Everybody Get Together
  24. Some disco songs are absolutely terrible and some of them are just so cheery and fun to dance to I don't really listen to rap, I do like some rap songs though. My absolute favorite of disco is Keep it Comin Love Keep it Comin Love as featured in Blow
  25. I love the Michelangelo ones. I swear I would want one, they look so beautiful.
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