[Music Critics Love Albums That The Public Hates]

From The Sunday Times:

http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol...icle3492137.ece

Critics love albums that the public hates – and vice versa. It's a

bout between Trouts and Bats

Mark Edwards

All right, it probably won't ever happen, but in the unlikely event

that someone, one day, bets you a large amount of money that you

won't be able to identify which person in a crowd of strangers is a

music journalist - without asking them directly what they do for a

living - here's how you win the bet. Go up to each person in turn and

ask them to name their favourite Beatles track. The music journalist

is the one who chooses Tomorrow Never Knows.

You can be sure of two things. First, nobody who doesn't listen to

music for a living will choose the final track on Revolver. An early

pop gem such as I Wanna Hold Your Hand, perhaps, or a psychedelic

masterpiece such as Strawberry Fields Forever, or a late-period sing-

along such as Hey Jude, but not Tomorrow Never Knows. Second, the

music critic has to say Tomorrow Never Knows. It's the law. If they

choose Penny Lane or Let It Be, they'll be drummed out of the union.

Like the rich, music journalists are different. Crucially, we hear

music differently. Obviously, we shouldn't. In an ideal world, music

critics would be a simple conduit between great music and the wider

public. "Here you go," we should say, "you'll love this" - and you

would love it. The truth is a little different. While there is a

large amount of music that is loved by critics and embraced by the

record-buying/downloading public, and a similar amount that is

shunned by both, there are albums that are adored by critics, but

firmly resisted by almost everyone else, and albums that sell

shedloads despite being ravaged by every critic in the land. The

former group is epitomised by Captain Beefheart's Trout Mask Replica,

the latter by Bat out of Hell - so let's call them Trouts and Bats.

There are different kinds of Trouts. Some are surely just about music

critics showing off. Even if you admire the artistic intent behind

Metal Machine Music, would you really want to listen to it? Then

there are Trouts that are genuinely wonderful works, and critics

shake their heads in sorrow that more people don't appreciate them,

although we kind of understand why. Robert Wyatt typifies this group.

Critics love him, but realise that his voice will strike most

listeners as a bit odd on first hearing. In fact, "Wyatting" has

gained currency as a term describing the act of playing a song on a

pub jukebox that you know will unsettle and annoy other customers.

Fortunately, as well as being a brilliant songwriter and singer,

Wyatt is also a thoroughly nice chap, with a great sense of humour,

and professes himself "honoured" by the association.

You might think that music critics would give up on these Trouts as

lost causes, but no. We dig in our heels because we know we're right.

Van Morrison's Astral Weeks is one of the best albums ever made;

nobody much bought it, but critics never shut up about it.

Eventually, 33 years later, it finally went gold. Okay, a lot of

those sales will have been to music journalists replacing yet another

worn-out copy, but still.

If Wyatt's voice or Morrison's masterpiece are far enough away from

the musical mainstream to make their commercial limitations

understandable, another batch of Trouts - wonderful pop music by

Aimee Mann, Brendan Benson and one-non-hit-wonders Cardinal,

masterful songwriting by John Hiatt or Randy Newman - seems to have

all the necessary ingredients for commercial success, but never broke

through beyond the "critically acclaimed" level.

In part, this is explained by the importance of image in commercial

success. Even in their younger days, Hiatt and Newman didn't carry

themselves like pop stars, and while Mann gave it a go, she always

looked uncomfortable in the role. Mainly, though, the discrepancy

between Trouts and Bats is due to the fact that music critics are

assessing music using different criteria than the rest of the world.

Or, perhaps more accurately, we're using roughly the same criteria,

but giving greater weight to some of them. Critics are particularly

keen on authenticity, innovation, great lyrics and - most of all - a

direct and identifiable connection between the emotions of the

songwriter and the finished work. We're looking for the musical

equivalent of a Jackson Pollock - it doesn't have to be pretty, but

it must be genuine. If you take a look at the list of Bats, you'll

note the almost complete absence of these qualities, in favour of

attributes that critics often downweight – melody, entertainment

value, immediacy, escapism, image.

Of course, these lists are merely the extremes. There is an awful lot

of shared ground. If you think of some of the biggest hits of the

past few years - the songs that were "everywhere", such as Hey Ya,

Crazy, Umbrella, Rehab - they tick all the boxes. Critics adored them

as much as the millions who bought them. We don't just like

the "difficult" stuff - although, saying that, you really ought to

find room for a little Wyatt in your life.

CRITICS' FAVOURITES THAT THE PUBLIC HATES

1 Captain Beefheart, Trout Mask Replica

2 The Fall, Hex Enduction Hour

3 Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, Tender Prey

4 The Flying Burrito Brothers, The Gilded Palace of Sin

5 Robert Wyatt, Dondestan

6 Ron Sexsmith, Other Songs

7 Lou Reed, Metal Machine Music

8 Dexy's Midnight Runners, Don't Stand Me Down

9 Palace Music, Viva Last Blues

10 Scott Walker, Tilt

11 Guided by Voices, Bee Thousand

12 Slint, Spiderland

13 Aimee Mann, Whatever

14 Randy Newman, Sail Away

15 Brendan Benson, Alternative to Love

16 Cardinal, Cardinal

17 Van Morrison, Astral Weeks

18 Love, Forever Changes

19 Big Star, Radio City

20 Vic Chesnutt, Is the Actor Happy?

PUBLIC FAVOURITES THAT THE CRITICS HATE

1 Meat Loaf, Bat out of Hell

2 Eagles, Hotel California

3 Norah Jones, Come Away with Me

4 James Blunt, Back to Bedlam

5 Céline Dion, Falling into You

6 Mariah Carey, Music Box

7 Shania Twain, Come on Over

8 Bon Jovi, Slippery When Wet

9 Billy Joel, Greatest Hits

10 Cher, Believe

11 Dido, No Angel

12 Lionel Richie, Can't Slow Down

13 Ricky Martin, Ricky Martin

14 Cranberries, No Need to Argue

15 Genesis, We Can't Dance

16 Pearl Jam, Vs

17 Supertramp, Breakfast in America

18 Simply Red, Stars

19 Robbie Williams, Swing When You're Winning

20 Jeff Wayne, War of the Worlds

One song jumps off this list and I say Bullshit. It is Hotel California. Nobody in their right mind hates this song. And the guitar work is as good as it gets. It is classic to the extreme. Ill take anyone on on this. Fucking Hotel California. Boss fucking tunes!!!!! Boss!!!!

[Oh CANADA!]

Carefull with this guy PJ.He's been stalking me around the board with his mad ramblings.

I might have to get a restraining order.Sheesh. He even wrote me a song.

Oh Ally

and you too Babs

Keep drinking Blue Moon

In all thy sons command

With glowing hearts, we see thee rise

the true beer good but not free

And stand on guard, Oh Sabres, wee stand on guard for thee

Blue Moon keep our land

All fucked up and free

Oh Ally and Babs we stand on guard for thee

Oh Ally and Babs we drink Blue Moon for eternity!

Crack. Here's to you Babs.

[Oh CANADA!]

seems to be alot of that going around in the world

people should realize that other people aren't always serious

Will admit I had a bit too much Blue Moon ale when I rewrote the canadien anthem.

[Oh CANADA!]

oh ok sorry for the misunderstanding

the other guy said something about mad ramblings and I said mad ramblings were ok as long as they didn't start fights

He should talk about mad ramblings. dont know how long you have been in touch with Mr Babs, but he can be quite a character at times himself. I guess he cant take a joke.

[Oh CANADA!]

either I'm not understanding you or you're not understanding me. It's a Canada thread, of course people are talking about hockey

I seriously don't understand your post

You said its not a hockey game on here. Thought you were insinuating that I shouldnt be talking hockey on here. Oh just forget it.

[Oh CANADA!]

awwww how sweet

I kinda like mad ramblings, as long as they don't degenerate into insults and name calling. Even a Canada thread is no place for that type of behaviour(it's not a hockey game in here after all)

Well Im not the first one to bring up hockey in here. Go back and see that Leafs fans postings.

[Oh CANADA!]

Carefull with this guy PJ.He's been stalking me around the board with his mad ramblings.

I might have to get a restraining order.Sheesh. He even wrote me a song.

Oh Ally

and you too Babs

Keep drinking Blue Moon

In all thy sons command

With glowing hearts, we see thee rise

the true beer good but not free

And stand on guard, Oh Sabres, wee stand on guard for thee

Blue Moon keep our land

All fucked up and free

Oh Ally and Babs we stand on guard for thee

Oh Ally and Babs we drink Blue Moon for eternity!

Ah Mr Babs! At least I didnt cut down your anthem like that other guy. And while I have you

Sabres 5 Flyers 2

[Oh CANADA!]

The hockey playoffs are coming...

The hockey playoffs are coming...

The hockey playoffs are coming...

LET'S GO FLYERS!!!!!

SABRES 5 FLYERS 2

KISS THE PLAYOFFS BYE BYE PHILLY FAN!

[Rolling Stones Thread]

I'm with you on that one. But with that said, there are people that think Zep sucks. They're wrong, but just sayin'...

Well guy, at least Joelman sent me my copy of O2. Still waiting for that Stones boot. But now keith has me so pissed I dont know if I really want it. I still love the music. But I am officially off the Keith Richards fan list -but will always love Jagger. Unless he retracts his dumb ass remarks which he never will. Ill always respect him as a songwriter first, but never as a guitarist.

[Oh CANADA!]

Good for you Juliet. Neither will I.

Where art thou Babaroony you loony? Im here drinking some more Blue Moony!

[Oh CANADA!]

The hockey playoffs are coming...

The hockey playoffs are coming...

The hockey playoffs are coming...

LET'S GO FLYERS!!!!!

YOUR GOING TO GET SPANKED TONIGHT! BEND OVER!!!!!

[Oh CANADA!]

Good for you Juliet. Neither will I.

Leafs and Canucks are toast!

[ELP Thread]

personally, i dont care for them...

my prog loyalty lies with King Crimson and it doesnt help that ELP robbed crimson of Greg Lake!!!

I love "From the Beginning" and "The Barbarian" is ok... but that's about it...

on an semi-releated note... the opening in "From the Beginning" sounds like the opening from "Roundabout"

Well the harmonics type part in fret 12 is about the same. As I play both on guitar. But the true musical great behind ELP is Keith Emerson. He is the best keyboard player in rock and roll history in my opinion. Others that deserve mention Elton John, Billy Joel, Lord, Wakeman, Preston, JPJ, and I dont know their names but the guys from Styx, Manfred Mann, and Allman Bros, Kansas, and sorry but I know Ive missed some other important ones.

[Rolling Stones Thread]

dont recall either heres the 75 ticket the meters opened i believe and billy preston played keyboards and sing a couple of his songs

That dumb ass Keith Richards has me so mad that i wish I never created this thread. He is a horses ass. how dare he put down Led Zeppelin or Jagger, the man who made him into a legend instead of an average run of the mill guitar player. If I had his money I would have had 30 face lifts. And took some guitar lessons from Page. Sack of shit that he is. Come back Taylor.

[Oh CANADA!]

What town is that JAG

Hey Ally. Be honest now. Who will you cheer for tonight. Sabres or Canadiens?? We need this one. GO SABRES!!! Oh yeah, and go Canucks. Hope you fry San Jose next time you play them crooks.

[Beautiful Women]

http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g205/don...harapova_15.jpg

[Beautiful Women]

Nice indeed. But I say that Maria Sharapova rules. Check out the 2006 swimsuit edition in sports illustrated online. Built like a brick shithouse.

[Beautiful Women]

Kate beckinsale rules.

Nice indeed. But I say that Maria Sharapova rules. Check out the 2006 swimsuit edition in sports illustrated online. Built like a brick shithouse.

[What Made You Happy today?]

They are mangoes. They're just not the reddish shade that you're probably used to.

Ahhhh. Thanks you. My daughter loves those things.

[What Made You Happy today?]

I got a really pleasant message on myspace from a good friend whom I haven't seen in a while.

Please tell me. What are those things? They look like a cross between apricots and mangos.

[Rolling Stones Thread]

The only thing post Taylor that was great was Some Girls. Really a great album. Rock Action, if you read this, what did you once refer to as better than Get yer Ya Yas out? I assume it must be a boot? Because Im sure nothing in the stores is as good. Of course Hot Rocks is the all time must have if you are into the Stones. Covers everything big in studio except for Some Girls and Cant you Hear me Knockin and a few others like Angie.

What say you Rock Action?

[Rolling Stones Thread]

All I have to say is:

The Stones peaked in the studio in 1971/72, and as a live band in 1973.

"Ron Wood....but he can't so he won't." Those thin, weedy attempts at solos kill me...

The only thing post Taylor that was great was Some Girls. Really a great album. Rock Action, if you read this, what did you once refer to as better than Get yer Ya Yas out? I assume it must be a boot? Because Im sure nothing in the stores is as good. Of course Hot Rocks is the all time must have if you are into the Stones. Covers everything big in studio except for Some Girls and Cant you Hear me Knockin and a few others like Angie.

[What's Your Latest Purchase?]

I love the Dead's version of that. If I had to pick a Dylan favorite today it'd probably be Desolation Row. Tomorrow it may be something else entirely.

I must tell you that I love his greatest hits album volume II from 1971. Favorite 3 songs along with the one I already mentioned are:

Ill be Your Baby Tonight

Maggies Farm

Its all over now, Baby Blue

[What's Your Latest Purchase?]

He was born on May 24, 1941.

If you had to pick a favorite song of Dylan over the years, what would it be? Mine would be perhaps, "Stuck inside of Mobile with the Memphis Blues Again".

[What's Your Latest Purchase?]

Found both of these on sale in the bargain books section of Borders over the weekend. The Dylan book (originially released as a companion piece to the No Direction Home documentary) was a very reasonable $10, it normally goes for $45. Will the Circle Be Unbroken: Country Music In America (with a foreward by Willie Nelson) was 6 bucks, it usually goes for $30. I've had my eye on the Dylan book for a while so I was very pleased to find it for such a damn good price.

Do you know how old Dylan is now? I knew he was in town here a couple of years ago. It was kind of a secret. But Weese (the guy that was fired and there was a thread about his talk radio show) told me he was at the Woodcliffe. The best and fanciest place in town just outside of Rochester NY. Im not sure but he may have had a gig at Darien lake-where Tom Petty will be soon.