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What Made You Un-Happy Today ?


The Rover
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Job searches are so crucial and trying on the soul. It's not like you're asking for much. You're only being willing to give of yourself. And each rejection feels personal because it truly is. If there's anyway possible I'd like to help you try in your search. It's easier to give up and harder to keep trying, but hang in there. You're in my warmest thoughts in this difficult time.

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I've only discussed this with one other person on the site. So I just want to say I appreciate him for keeping tabs and asking me how it's goin with me.

I received some news last night. I've been sitting with my uncle when I could. The doctors called us and he has less than 2 weeks to live. What's wild is I discussed his condition with my friend I grew up with, Eric. It shocked him as well as me. He remembered working with my uncle and saying how surprised he was for all the energy my uncle had. They built a ramp together for someone handicapped, so they could get into their house easier.

What's surprising is Eric died first, as young as he was back in November. As for me, I'm tore up all inside. :( I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster that I can never get off.

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I've only discussed this with one other person on the site. So I just want to say I appreciate him for keeping tabs and asking me how it's goin with me.

I received some news last night. I've been sitting with my uncle when I could. The doctors called us and he has less than 2 weeks to live. What's wild is I discussed his condition with my friend I grew up with, Eric. It shocked him as well as me. He remembered working with my uncle and saying how surprised he was for all the energy my uncle had. They built a ramp together for someone handicapped, so they could get into their house easier.

What's surprising is Eric died first, as young as he was back in November. As for me, I'm tore up all inside. :( I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster that I can never get off.

So sad to read this, Andy. Sending positive thoughts your way. I know that's not much in a time like this, but you are in my thoughts.

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Sounds like you were close to your uncle, Andy. In some ways, having this two weeks notice may help you prepare and process the grief better. It's never easy losing someone close to you, no matter what the situation or if it is forewarned or unexpected. Best you can do is take stock and comfort from those around you that love you...your wife and kids.

Good luck.

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I've only discussed this with one other person on the site. So I just want to say I appreciate him for keeping tabs and asking me how it's goin with me.

I received some news last night. I've been sitting with my uncle when I could. The doctors called us and he has less than 2 weeks to live. What's wild is I discussed his condition with my friend I grew up with, Eric. It shocked him as well as me. He remembered working with my uncle and saying how surprised he was for all the energy my uncle had. They built a ramp together for someone handicapped, so they could get into their house easier.

What's surprising is Eric died first, as young as he was back in November. As for me, I'm tore up all inside. :( I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster that I can never get off.

So sorry to hear this my friend. I know the time you have left with him will mean a great deal to both of you.

Take care of yourself. Thinking the best thoughts for you.

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So sad to read this, Andy. Sending positive thoughts your way. I know that's not much in a time like this, but you are in my thoughts.

Thank you Walter. I'm so glad to hear about Mrs. Walter. That was the highlight of my day and an answer to a prayer when I read your post. As I'm sure you do, hold on to her tight. I'm sure she's an absolute gem. She's been in my prayers and warmest thoughts as have you. I enjoy the reads in the happy thread. They're uplifting to me.

For Paul, all I can say is thank you as well, Bro. As much as I said I was prepared, I was totally wrong, Bro. I have difficult days ahead, and it seems there is no right or wrong way to cope.

Strider: No wife anymore, thank goodness. And no kids, maybe even more of a blessing. I left an abusive situation.

Sorry to hear about this Andy. Time has a tendency to heal and fill voids that may currently seem beyond repair. One day, one hour, each minute at a time.

You're so thoughtful to remind me of that. It's true isn't it. I'll take you up on that advice. It may just be the best thing to get me through. Being mindful for me does mean taking into account one minute at a time. Or hours if I'm more fortunate.

I'm reaching a point where my losses have surmounted my gains. It's been so hard to keep track the last couple of months, let alone years.

I can't tell you it's easy. Or even that it's worth it. Is anything worth working for? Whether it's a job or a relationship or anything? I don't know. We live because we live. It's just is what it is and it's just that: life. What else is there? Anything?

When you get to a point where you wish you never existed, you realize "well, that's nothing." It's singular and it's lonely and it's wrong but it's okay; yet everything becomes clear and everything becomes pointless. And that's because it is. You have your choices and that's all that is static in life.

You can accept it and drown into those places inside you that you don't need to visit very often. They are dark. You can accept it and literally drown.

Or you can ignore it and stop looking so hard all the time. You can stay in the shallow end where you can stand. Where people are.

I have some soul searching ahead and some decisions to make.

Thank y'all much for you kindness. It means more to me than you could imagine.

Edited by apantherfrommd
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Thank you Walter. I'm so glad to hear about Mrs. Walter. That was the highlight of my day and an answer to a prayer when I read your post. As I'm sure you do, hold on to her tight. I'm sure she's an absolute gem. She's been in my prayers and warmest thoughts as have you. I enjoy the reads in the happy thread. They're uplifting to me.

For Paul, all I can say is thank you as well, Bro. As much as I said I was prepared, I was totally wrong, Bro. I have difficult days ahead, and it seems there is no right or wrong way to cope.

Strider: No wife anymore, thank goodness. And no kids, maybe even more of a blessing. I left an abusive situation.

You're so thoughtful to remind me of that. It's true isn't it. I'll take you up on that advice. It may just be the best thing to get me through. Being mindful for me does mean taking into account one minute at a time. Or hours if I'm more fortunate.

I'm reaching a point where my losses have surmounted my gains. It's been so hard to keep track the last couple of months, let alone years.

I can't tell you it's easy. Or even that it's worth it. Is anything worth working for? Whether it's a job or a relationship or anything? I don't know. We live because we live. It's just is what it is and it's just that: life. What else is there? Anything?

When you get to a point where you wish you never existed, you realize "well, that's nothing." It's singular and it's lonely and it's wrong but it's okay; yet everything becomes clear and everything becomes pointless. And that's because it is. You have your choices and that's all that is static in life.

You can accept it and drown into those places inside you that you don't need to visit very often. They are dark. You can accept it and literally drown.

Or you can ignore it and stop looking so hard all the time. You can stay in the shallow end where you can stand. Where people are.

I have some soul searching ahead and some decisions to make.

Thank y'all much for you kindness. It means more to me than you could imagine.

All I can say, Andy, is what my signature says and our mantra has been this last year - "out of the darkness, only light can come". Believe it, things will get better in time, even if your state of mind doesn't want to believe it. Peace to you, brother. Edited by Walter
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Just logged on here and reading this.

I'm so sorry to hear that news Andy. My deepest thoughts and prayers are with you and the rest of the family. I cannot think of anything else to say but you know where to find me if you need to talk.

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So sorry to hear this my friend. I know the time you have left with him will mean a great deal to both of you.[/

Very appreciative for that. You said it much better than I could've.

Thank you.

I don't believe I'll be around here much. But I thought it best to muster up enough to honor those of you with such compassionate hearts. I wish y'all peace and happiness and keep making the best with those who make your soul complete.

I apologize for not realizing your mantra, before. May you accept my honor in this, Bro. I understand the mantra. It's one that I'd advice for eveyyone on this forum with a heart. Thanks again.

http://youtu.be/DR8lZhHcCOo

Tanya, It's good to know where to reach you. Thank you all for so much.

Charles, you seem to read people very well. Grazi Mille. Ddlander, I haven't had the honour. You have such a kind heart. Thank you. Patrycja, don't you dare wake up in a half hour at 20 till 5. It's Sunday. I hope you're enjoying the sweetest dreams. Not any of those tossing and turning ones. Thank you.

Lipslikecherries, what can I say to show my appreciation? Your one of the few that can spin anything into gold! You're truly a blessing. And I best take your advice now, or I know I'll be suffering the consequences of my tucas being spun into worse than gold. ;) I'm going to take your advice right now/ as I should have done earlier. I leave you with so much more thanks than I can put into words. And all I can do is honor you with the lyrics to this.http://youtu.be/fPAYR5NReE8

Love and inner peace and happiness to y'all.

Edited by apantherfrommd
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My eldest brother has just had a cancerous growth removed from his back.........Now this man is a shit, when my parents died in 2009 he and his wife said that there was no need whatsoever for them to come to Liverpool anymore. Now he is looking for compassion from his family (95% of them reside in Liverpool). He is a selfish individual. Is it me that is wrong , because I have no sympathy for him, my family want me to change but he really is a horrible selfish person. My family are trying to make me feel guilty....... I don't at all. Am I in the wrong , or should I just forget all the Sh*t I've had to put up with in the past. For Example in the 70s When I grew my hair, he and his wife refused to go out for a drink with me , just because I had long hair. I don't think I am being unreasonable , he texted me to try and explain why his family (he has 5 children, the eldest is 51). It made no sense,

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My eldest brother has just had a cancerous growth removed from his back.........Now this man is a shit, when my parents died in 2009 he and his wife said that there was no need whatsoever for them to come to Liverpool anymore. Now he is looking for compassion from his family (95% of them reside in Liverpool). He is a selfish individual. Is it me that is wrong , because I have no sympathy for him, my family want me to change but he really is a horrible selfish person. My family are trying to make me feel guilty....... I don't at all. Am I in the wrong , or should I just forget all the Sh*t I've had to put up with in the past. For Example in the 70s When I grew my hair, he and his wife refused to go out for a drink with me , just because I had long hair. I don't think I am being unreasonable , he texted me to try and explain why his family (he has 5 children, the eldest is 51). It made no sense,

I had issues with my brother when my folks died. I didn't speak to him for a long time. Now we meet up and get on very well. Here is a happy ditty for you:

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My eldest brother has just had a cancerous growth removed from his back.........Now this man is a shit, when my parents died in 2009 he and his wife said that there was no need whatsoever for them to come to Liverpool anymore. Now he is looking for compassion from his family (95% of them reside in Liverpool). He is a selfish individual. Is it me that is wrong , because I have no sympathy for him, my family want me to change but he really is a horrible selfish person. My family are trying to make me feel guilty....... I don't at all. Am I in the wrong , or should I just forget all the Sh*t I've had to put up with in the past. For Example in the 70s When I grew my hair, he and his wife refused to go out for a drink with me , just because I had long hair. I don't think I am being unreasonable , he texted me to try and explain why his family (he has 5 children, the eldest is 51). It made no sense,

Sit down and shoot the shit with him, put it behind it you and move on. Sometimes people take there anger out on others because they are hurting and so they do that to the things and people they care about otherwise they would go nuts. It's a form of survival

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