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:hysterical: :hysterical:

well...maybe it's a function of our internal glands, a chemical reaction that's drugging our brain to be more susceptible to reproduction...but hey, whether it's true or not...let's believe it's LOVE. Maybe if we believe strong enough, it will become the truth.

Well it's definately not common sense that is the driving force. One of the reasons for me is sex on a regular basis.

Edited by spats
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Indeed. Love makes people do things they'd have never ever done under normal conditions.

Is it just my feeling but did I say this before already?

Absolutely....damn love makes you being like another person, someone whom you have never known...and this person in you makes strange things and sometimes you just can't control him...you feel kindda fear to put your step wrong, to do something you mustn't do...oh my god i feel it to brightly now :boohoo:

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And what's worse, you're overdosed with optimism which makes you believe all the good thiings about the other person, and you don't want to see and/or believe the bad stuff about them

Exactly. That's not the realistic part of love. That's why you have to go with your head not you heart.

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Exactly. That's not the realistic part of love. That's why you have to go with your head not you heart.

i think that only if you ACCEPT the things the way they are in the person you love, if you put up with his bad things, TJHEN you do can say you love him. if you love him you love the bad things about him as well.

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i think that only if you ACCEPT the things the way they are in the person you love, if you put up with his bad things, TJHEN you do can say you love him. if you love him you love the bad things about him as well.

I wouldn't go as far as saying you'd have to love the bad things. What love is to me is, loving the good things so much that the bad things just aren't that important. :)

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i think that only if you ACCEPT the things the way they are in the person you love, if you put up with his bad things, TJHEN you do can say you love him. if you love him you love the bad things about him as well.

Not really, Maureen.

But you can learn to live with them. :)

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You learn to accept that no one is perfect and that everyone is human. The positive qualities should outweigh pissy little trivial things like someone's laugh and whether or not they snore. You should love someone for how they make you feel, not worry about what being with them makes you look like to other people.

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Not really, Maureen.

But you can learn to live with them. :)

You have to learn to live with them--otherwise, we'd have a whole lot more single people out there and a hell of a lot more abuse cases...(maybe even murder?)... :huh:

I will never learn to love the things that Dave does to drive me crazy. :lol: That's why they drive me crazy!!!

I have learned to pick my battles and decide whether somethign is worth bickering over, bitching at him for, nagging, etc. About 99.99% of the time, if I'm irritated, I don't say anything because it's not even worth it--it's part of who he is and I can't change that. That's the biggest thing people need to realize if they want a good, healthy relationship: YOU CAN'T CHANGE THEM!

Now if the things you can't put up with have to do with abuse (physical or verbal), drugs/alcohol, fidelity, honesty and money (as in really, really bad money things--like lack of steady employment, lying about money, spending more than you can afford all the time...I knew a woman who racked up over $100K in credit card debt and managed to keep it hidden from her husband for a long time. SHE got a second job and worked her ass for ten years...then he divorced her), get out. If a relationship's harmful to you...GET OUT!

My $0.02 again.

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Hm, some bad things are clearly not to be "learned to live with" such as uh..for example...dating a guy (who thought it was REALLY serious and even planned to marry her) and cheating him with twelwe guys during one year, sometimes multiple at once (the guys didn't know about each other and thought she was serious with them too..one of them was ALMOST me)

Edited by Chien Noir
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^that girl needs psychiatric help. :wacko:

I'd say exorcism. Until I learned about her true nature (from the guy that was her "official" boyfriend) I thought such characters only appear in books and movies.

but well, here you got a fine example how feelings cloud your mind.

I suspected quite few things, went to some logical conclusions, which later showed up as quite accurate, but simply didn't want to believe they actually could be true and ignored them.

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You have to learn to live with them--otherwise, we'd have a whole lot more single people out there and a hell of a lot more abuse cases...(maybe even murder?)... :huh:

I will never learn to love the things that Dave does to drive me crazy. :lol: That's why they drive me crazy!!!

I have learned to pick my battles and decide whether somethign is worth bickering over, bitching at him for, nagging, etc. About 99.99% of the time, if I'm irritated, I don't say anything because it's not even worth it--it's part of who he is and I can't change that. That's the biggest thing people need to realize if they want a good, healthy relationship: YOU CAN'T CHANGE THEM!

Now if the things you can't put up with have to do with abuse (physical or verbal), drugs/alcohol, fidelity, honesty and money (as in really, really bad money things--like lack of steady employment, lying about money, spending more than you can afford all the time...I knew a woman who racked up over $100K in credit card debt and managed to keep it hidden from her husband for a long time. SHE got a second job and worked her ass for ten years...then he divorced her), get out. If a relationship's harmful to you...GET OUT!

My $0.02 again.

See that's the difference with me. If i see things that annoy me at the very beginning than i am out of there. I don't give those annoying things a chance. because i don't want to have to live with those things for years.

You are right about not trying to change people. I have experienced past girlfriends trying to change me and have seen it with my buddy's girlfriends and wives. And it's just plain wrong. And some times they succeed. Like my buddies in the past have started dressing differently or behaving differently. It's just bad. You should just let the person be.

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Are you saying that your friends don't have ANY qualities AT ALL that don't drive you crazy?

My friends have many qualities that drive me crazy. If you were to "dump" each of your friends that had a quality that you didn't like, you'd have ZERO friends.

I didn't say to hook up with these "female friends," I said to "be-friend" them.

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See that's the difference with me. If i see things that annoy me at the very beginning than i am out of there. I don't give those annoying things a chance. because i don't want to have to live with those things for years.

You are right about not trying to change people. I have experienced past girlfriends trying to change me and have seen it with my buddy's girlfriends and wives. And it's just plain wrong. And some times they succeed. Like my buddies in the past have started dressing differently or behaving differently. It's just bad. You should just let the person be.

Maybe if you stick around for a little while, the things you find annoying will grow on you. Or you'll notice them less. Everyone has annoying qualities. I agree that you should let the person be who they are, but people grow and mature over time and change too. On the other hand, I do know people who have wanted to change everything about the person they're with. I don't understand that. I mean are they going into it thinking this is how I can fix this person into who I really want?

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Are you saying that your friends don't have ANY qualities AT ALL that don't drive you crazy?

My friends have many qualities that drive me crazy. If you were to "dump" each of your friends that had a quality that you didn't like, you'd have ZERO friends.

I didn't say to hook up with these "female friends," I said to "be-friend" them.

My friends do have qualities that annoy me. But i am not dating them or livng with them. it's easier to put up with those things because of that.

I do have female friends. But again there are things you can't talk about with them that you can talk about with my male friends.

Edited by spats
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I talk to my male friends about the same exact things I talk to my female friends with. They're MY FRIENDS, and what we talk about doesn't matter (except for menstrual things--the men don't get tortured or grossed out by that--I spare them that...but that's the only thing).

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Maybe if you stick around for a little while, the things you find annoying will grow on you. Or you'll notice them less. Everyone has annoying qualities. I agree that you should let the person be who they are, but people grow and mature over time and change too. On the other hand, I do know people who have wanted to change everything about the person they're with. I don't understand that. I mean are they going into it thinking this is how I can fix this person into who I really want?

I agree people grow. But when the guy starts changing the way he dresses weeks after dating a girl then you know what's going on. She's trying to change him.

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