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How did his lack of assertiveness cost him. She has two arms and two legs. She can think for herself. If she liked him as much as he liked her she could have easily got assertive with him. And she didn't. Why is it Octogans fault??? There were two people involved there.

Octogan, don't blame yourself.

Yeah, take relationship advice from Spats, you'll do well :rolleyes:

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No i am saying octoagon is not to blame for what happened. She didn't get assertive either.

Just because he thinks he is too blame doesn't mean he is. You should always go with your first instinct. It's the usually the best reaction to go with and his first reaction was too not come on too strong. He is probably just regretful in hindsight.

Yeah, your instincts serve you well.

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How the hell do you know that? :huh:

Spats, you're boring.

He never gave any indication that she asked him out or anything. If she did and he said no then that would be a different story. But he should not put all the blame on himself. There were two people involved.

Going with you first instinct might be a boring reply but i really think it's the best one to go with.

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If you follow your instincts with dating, usually, you realize that you really did think that the creep who asked you was REALLY a creep. Then, instead of suppressing those instincts, you end up better off by saying "no," when he asks you out instead of dealing with a few weeks or months of unhappiness... :lol:

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Bottom line Spats, you want girls to come to you, and THAT'S not realistic. In a perfect world, sure, it'd be awesome if girls always made the moves, and guys didn't have to. But that's not the way it is, deal with it. You want something, you go after it. Or you can sit back, wait for them come to you, squander easy opportunities by expecting the girl to be the assertive one, and come on the internet and bitch and moan.

And here's a another harsh reality: there are plenty of guys out there who DO make the first move. Most girls have lots of opportunities, with guys always approaching them. Why should they make the first move? Why should they waste their time on you, when there are plenty of guys who have the balls? You can spend all your time thinking it'd be more "fair" if girls made the moves too, that it should be 50/50, and while you spend your time on this board lamenting that, people are hooking up around you. Sorry.

Take Octagon's example...who's the one alone in that situation? The girl got herself a guy, probably because Octagon's friend made the move. He's the one alone, and if he'd made a move, he wouldn't be. Period.

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Bottom line Spats, you want girls to come to you, and THAT'S not realistic. In a perfect world, sure, it'd be awesome if girls always made the moves, and guys didn't have to. But that's not the way it is, deal with it. You want something, you go after it. Or you can sit back, wait for them come to you, squander easy opportunities by expecting the girl to be the assertive one, and come on the internet and bitch and moan.

And here's a another harsh reality: there are plenty of guys out there who DO make the first move. Most girls have lots of opportunities, with guys always approaching them. Why should they make the first move? Why should they waste their time on you, when there are plenty of guys who have the balls? You can spend all your time thinking it'd be more "fair" if girls made the moves too, that it should be 50/50, and while you spend your time on this board lamenting that, people are hooking up around you. Sorry.

Take Octagon's example...who's the one alone in that situation? The girl got herself a guy, probably because Octagon's friend made the move. He's the one alone, and if he'd made a move, he wouldn't be. Period.

I have not squandered easy oppotunities. Approaching women is not easy. it may be for a guy who does not have a track record of getting burned badly. it's not about having the balls. I approached all the time when i was a teen. It's more about not repeating mistakes.

But as far as Octoagon goes, i am just saying that he should not put the blame on himself. Because she did nothing too. He didn't say how much interest she showed in him. So that comes into it to.

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The girl at the New Year's party was an easy opportunity. You fucked that one up.

And in Octagon's situation, the girl "did nothing too", but again, who's alone now? He is, not her.

Well it would be interesting to know if she liked him as much as he liked her.

Matt, i didn't f**k that up with the new Years girl. You have been telling me to go after what i want. Well she didn't go after what she wanted. And i wouldn't be able to face her anyways after my buddy humiliated me.

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Matt, i didn't f**k that up with the new Years girl. You have been telling me to go after what i want. Well she didn't go after what she wanted. And i wouldn't be able to face her anyways after my buddy humiliated me.

SIGH. You don't get it, you never will.

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I went to my Doctor's office this week for a full physical examination. Since I am over 40 years old I have to have the full prostate exam each time now.

Not really a 'relationship update'

but still more action than some of you pathetic nerds... sheesh!

:P

.

So... you consider a full prostate exam to be getting some "action"? :huh:

:lol:

:hysterical:

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SIGH. You don't get it, you never will.

The dude embarrassed me. it looks really bad him saying that i was too shy to ask for the number. If he was gonna do this what he should have done was go to her and give her my number and tell her to call me sometime if she wants to.

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So... you consider a full prostate exam to be getting some "action"? :huh:

I have my first exam in 2 weeks. I'm a bit nervous . :o

What is the proper etiquette ?

Should I bring flowers?

Do we shake hands or hug afterwards?

I think I'll have a couple of drinks before going in.

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The dude embarrassed me. it looks really bad him saying that i was too shy to ask for the number. If he was gonna do this what he should have done was go to her and give her my number and tell her to call me sometime if she wants to.

Yep - instead of making it sound like you're too shy to ask her he could have created the impression that you're too arrogant to ask her. Brilliant. :)

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Yep - instead of making it sound like you're too shy to ask her he could have created the impression that you're too arrogant to ask her. Brilliant. :)

I don't see that as arrogant. He would just be saying i like her and if she is interested she can call. That's what giving out the number means.

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I don't see that as arrogant. He would just be saying i like her and if she is interested she can call. That's what giving out the number means.

Are you Jimmy Page to send over your personal assistant? If you're not too shy and not too arrogant what's your excuse for not giving her your number yourself?

*Holds breath for next excuse*

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I have my first exam in 2 weeks. I'm a bit nervous . :o

What is the proper etiquette ?

Should I bring flowers?

Do we shake hands or hug afterwards?

I think I'll have a couple of drinks before going in.

Just don't ask for a second opinion :D

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