Levee Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 Divorce lawyers: Facebook tops in online evidence By LEANNE ITALIE Associated Press Writer Forgot to de-friend your wife on Facebook while posting vacation shots of your mistress? Her divorce lawyer will be thrilled. Oversharing on social networks has led to an overabundance of evidence in divorce cases. The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers says 81 percent of its members have used or faced evidence plucked from Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and other social networking sites, including YouTube and LinkedIn, over the last five years. "Oh, I've had some fun ones," said Linda Lea Viken, president-elect of the 1,600-member group. "It's very, very common in my new cases." Facebook is the unrivaled leader for turning virtual reality into real-life divorce drama, Viken said. Sixty-six percent of the lawyers surveyed cited Facebook foibles as the source of online evidence, she said. MySpace followed with 15 percent, followed by Twitter at 5 percent. About one in five adults uses Facebook for flirting, according to a 2008 report by the Pew Internet and American Life Project. But it's not just kissy pix with the manstress or mistress that show up as evidence. Think of Dad forcing son to de-friend mom, bolstering her alienation of affection claim against him. "This sort of evidence has gone from nothing to a large percentage of my cases coming in, and it's pretty darn easy," Viken said. "It's like, `Are you kidding me?'" Neither Viken, in Rapid City, S.D., nor other divorce attorneys would besmirch the attorney-client privilege by revealing the identities of clients, but they spoke in broad terms about some of the goofs they've encountered: - Husband goes on Match.com and declares his single, childless status while seeking primary custody of said nonexistent children. - Husband denies anger management issues but posts on Facebook in his "write something about yourself" section: "If you have the balls to get in my face, I'll kick your ass into submission." - Father seeks custody of the kids, claiming (among other things) that his ex-wife never attends the events of their young ones. Subpoenaed evidence from the gaming site World of Warcraft tracks her there with her boyfriend at the precise time she was supposed to be out with the children. Mom loves Facebook's Farmville, too, at all the wrong times. - Mom denies in court that she smokes marijuana but posts partying, pot-smoking photos of herself on Facebook. The disconnect between real life and online is hardly unique to partners de-coupling in the United States. A DIY divorce site in the United Kingdom, Divorce-Online, reported the word "Facebook" appeared late last year in about one in five of the petitions it was handling. (The company's caseload now amounts to about 7,000.) Divorce attorneys Ken and Leslie Matthews, a husband and wife team in Denver, Colo., don't see quite as many online gems. They estimated 1 in 10 of their cases involves such evidence, compared to a rare case or no cases at all in each of the last three years. Regardless, it's powerful evidence to plunk down before a judge, they said. "You're finding information that you just never get in the normal discovery process - ever," Leslie Matthews said. "People are just blabbing things all over Facebook. People don't yet quite connect what they're saying in their divorce cases is completely different from what they're saying on Facebook. It doesn't even occur to them that they'd be found out." Social networks are also ripe for divorce-related hate and smear campaigns among battling spousal camps, sometimes spawning legal cases of their own. "It's all pretty good evidence," Viken said. "You can't really fake a page off of Facebook. The judges don't really have any problems letting it in." The attorneys offer these tips for making sure your out-loud personal life online doesn't wind up in divorce court: WHAT YOU SAY CAN AND WILL BE HELD AGAINST YOU If you plan on lying under oath, don't load up social networks with evidence to the contrary. "We tell our clients when they come in, `I want to see your Facebook page. I want you to remember that the judge can read that stuff so never write anything you don't want the judge to hear,'" Viken said. BEWARE YOUR FRENEMIES Going through a divorce is about as emotional as it gets for many couples. The desire to talk trash is great, but so is the pull for friends to take sides. "They think these people can help get them through it," said Marlene Eskind Moses, a family law expert in Nashville, Tenn., and current president of the elite academy of divorce attorneys. "It's the worst possible time to share your feelings online." A PICTURE MAY BE WORTH ... BIG BUCKS Grown-ups on a good day should know better than to post boozy, carousing or sexually explicit photos of themselves online, but in the middle of a contentious divorce? Ken Matthews recalls photos of a client's partially naked estranged wife alongside pictures of their kids on Facebook. "He was hearing bizarre stories from his kids. Guys around the house all the time. Men running in and out. And there were these pictures," Matthews said. PRIVACY, PRIVACY, PRIVACY They're called privacy settings for a reason. Find them. Get to know them. Use them. Keep up when Facebook decides to change them. Viken tells a familiar story: A client accused her spouse of adultery and he denied it in court. "The guy testified he didn't have a relationship with this woman. They were just friends. The girlfriend hadn't put security on her page and there they were. `Gee judge, who lied to you?'" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrum Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 Maybe they should call it 'Dumbass Book' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silvermedalist Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 I guess it all depends on where you live regarding divorce laws. In NY state you tell a judge to look on Facebook for evidence they will say "get out of my courtroom". Divorce cases here are a joke. Anyone can seem to get one for any reason, and it matters not the circumstances unless there is outragous money involved. Bad subject for many here I am sure. Mine was long ago. Cost me a fortune and I am wiser having gone through it. Good luck to those of you that are still going through the process. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BIGDAN Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 Hi Y'all, I cant believe that people are still getting Married in this God Forsaken Lawyer Ridden Society we live in, i thought the Free Love of the 60s meant something, now everybody gets Loved Up and we have all this Chaos. Follow the "5 Fs" as me Old Grandad used to say and you cant go wrong, unless shes Chinese that is. I'd put all lawyers up on Heresy Charges, as well as Politician's, and then Burn them at the Stake, as all those two lots of shits must be guilty of something, however trivial, i feel a Good Burning is needed to Cleanse the Soul, don't you? Regards, Danny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janet Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 That must be why I'm divorced - no one ever told me the "5 Fs" Are they printable? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake of Shadows Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 Five 'F's? I only know of four, from the (probably urban legend) "4F Club" various people were said to be members of. Hmm, if the Facebook stuff is admissable and is such a boon to the divorce lawyers, maybe the lawyers will give their clients a rebate on their fees. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetredwine Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 That must be why I'm divorced - no one ever told me the "5 Fs" Are they printable? My dad said the guys in Korea talked that way in the army, and he warned me that's how most guys view life, but I'm not sure if I remember the saying properly: Find 'em Feel 'em F--k 'em Forget 'em Five 'F's? I only know of four, from the (probably urban legend) "4F Club" various people were said to be members of. I guess the 5F Club is now for those whose "partner" decided to Facebook 'em ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake of Shadows Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 My dad said the guys in Korea talked that way in the army, and he warned me that's how most guys view life, but I'm not sure if I remember the saying properly: Find 'em Feel 'em F--k 'em Forget 'em yep, that's the same 4F Club I heard about (althought it wasn't military folks, but... high school kids). I guess the 5F Club is now for those whose "partner" decided to Facebook 'em ... yeah, that sounds about right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wild Fire Woman Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 Hi Y'all, I cant believe that people are still getting Married in this God Forsaken Lawyer Ridden Society we live in, i thought the Free Love of the 60s meant something, now everybody gets Loved Up and we have all this Chaos. Follow the "5 Fs" as me Old Grandad used to say and you cant go wrong, unless shes Chinese that is. I'd put all lawyers up on Heresy Charges, as well as Politician's, and then Burn them at the Stake, as all those two lots of shits must be guilty of something, however trivial, i feel a Good Burning is needed to Cleanse the Soul, don't you? Regards, Danny Obviously your Grandad didn't practice what he preached as you're here telling the story Dan (hope Grandma isn't too offended) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tripmender Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 Follow the "5 Fs" as me Old Grandad used to say and you cant go wrong, unless shes Chinese that is. How intriguing. Only guessing here Bigdan, but could the 5th F be 'finger'? Or maybe 'fist' (which might be problematic if she's Chinese)? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manderlyh Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 Seriously! That cracks me up. Yes, people share too much on FB. Yes, I've seen things I don't want to see, including a picture a friend took of her husband and herself NAKED in bed (there was nothing showing, but still), and pictures of the same said friend smoking pot in public. I've also seen pictures of my female students flashing their bras, and a naked picture of one of my (40-year old) cousins (nothing was showing--he had a towel on his rear end. Awesome, eh? If any pictures or posts are put onto my profile that are questionable, I delete them. I figure that if my grandmother or her sister, who are both friends of mine on FB would be offended or feel uncomfortable, I shouldn't have it there. Especially since I do friend my students if they ask me to be their friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BIGDAN Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 That must be why I'm divorced - no one ever told me the "5 Fs" Are they printable? Hi Janet, Since you asked first, "No" they are not printable due to the fact that you are a Lady. "Wlid Fire Woman", I had two Grandads, and my Grandmother would never have let him go beyond the 2nd "F" before she wed him, and then went on too let him do the "3rd and 4th Fs", and by that time the "5th F" would not have mattered as she was "unforgettable", i hope that doesn't answer your question. "Tripmender" You ever thought of being a Medium? i tried it once but I'm definitely the XL type don't you know? "Manderlyn" Nice to see you back, and keep your pictures, naked or not, off of Face Book, in fact keep them off the Internet alltogethe, you know it makes sense, Kushty. Kind Regards T Y'all, Danny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janet Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 Ha ha My ex didn't know all of those but he did try "Fleece 'em" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black Dawg Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 I always thought the 4 F was Forfeit 'em, 'cause you won't be using them again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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