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That was quite a unique read and enjoyable. Showed what was going on with Zeppelin at that time and why a lot of bands resented them. Just like ledzepfvr, I loved the phone bit too. Although, Jimmy could be sloppy at times (he'd be one to admit it) his live performances were not consistently mediocre as is insinuated here. Thanks.

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"This is Led Zeppelin when they sucked. And wouldn't it be wonderful if all things were this bad?"

this writer doesnt actually say anything apart from trying to illicit a reaction by slating zepplein, and trying to make you read another papragraph. he seems to contradict himself all the time, sentence after sentence.

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"This is Led Zeppelin when they sucked. And wouldn't it be wonderful if all things were this bad?"

this writer doesnt actually say anything apart from trying to illicit a reaction by slating zepplein, and trying to make you read another papragraph. he seems to contradict himself all the time, sentence after sentence.

I believe that was the whole point of the article. I found it to be somewhat clever, but very accurate, assessment of 1979 Zeppelin & the times.

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revisionism history.

If you were there, you know what you saw.

If you saw it on the DVD, you thought you saw what you would have seen if you were there.

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revisionism history.

If you were there, you know what you saw.

If you saw it on the DVD, you thought you saw what you would have seen if you were there.

Huh? Well, I guess this makes sense. I guess it was until Jimmy did his editing.

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Bless you Jahfin! I was looking for a little light reading for my lunch-break and THAT hit the spot...hilarious! :lol:

Anyone who takes offense to that article or thinks Chuck is slagging Zeppelin is missing the funny gene...and missing the point.

Chuck is saying that even at their worst, and August 11, 79 was certainly a low point, Led Zeppelin was still above everyone else.

He said Jimmy was the only guy who could wear a sweater vest and NOT seem gay. He said there was nobody, dead or alive, who could compete with John Bonham. And the imaginary phone call between Gibby Haynes and John Paul Jones was CLASSIC!

I've been wondering about that darn telephone ever since the photos from Knebworth first started appearing in Creem magazine in 79.

My favourite line might have been this:

"I'm still waiting for Page to comment on this random bozo's unfulfilled prowess as a retail employee." :hysterical:

Chuck Klosterman has written some other perceptive and hilarious essays on Led Zeppelin before...check out his collection of essays Chuck Klosterman IV. There's a piece on Led Zeppelin IV, as well as an interview with Robert Plant.

Then, in Killing Yourself to Live, there's a brilliant part about the eternal popularity of Led Zeppelin. I can't access it right now but will cut and paste it when I can.

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This line about Plant seems to hit it on the head:

"It's almost like Plant hates the one defining thing he does better than anyone who's ever lived."

I don't know if I'd go so far as to say Robert Plant hates the fact he was the lead singer in Led Zeppelin. I think what he does hate is the idea that his past job should define who he is now.

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I don't know if I'd go so far as to say Robert Plant hates the fact he was the lead singer in Led Zeppelin. I think what he does hate is the idea that his past job should define who he is now.

For the full context of the quote, Plant is saying he doesn't want to be remembered for "vocal hysterics", which he was pretty awesome at...

"I wish we were remembered for 'Kasmir' more than 'Stairway to Heaven,'" he once said. "There's nothing overblown, no vocal hysterics. Perfect Zeppelin." And this (of course) is true — although the reason I used to think he was a genius was because he seemed to be the only guy who could make vocal hysterics seem nonhysterical. It's almost like Plant hates the one defining thing he does better than anyone who's ever lived.

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For the full context of the quote, Plant is saying he doesn't want to be remembered for "vocal hysterics", which he was pretty awesome at...

"I wish we were remembered for 'Kasmir' more than 'Stairway to Heaven,'" he once said. "There's nothing overblown, no vocal hysterics. Perfect Zeppelin." And this (of course) is true — although the reason I used to think he was a genius was because he seemed to be the only guy who could make vocal hysterics seem nonhysterical. It's almost like Plant hates the one defining thing he does better than anyone who's ever lived.

I can't disagree with him -- I wish they were remembered more for Kashmir than Stairway to Heaven. He did overdo it with the moans, groans, squeals, and "babys".....so I can understand where he's coming from.

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"I prefer to eat liquid food, something like a banana daiquiri — sort of the thing they would give to invalids. I'm not into solid foods very much … I do have a blender, but nobody's gotten it together yet. The blender thing is great. I mean, I'll never turn down some alcohol, so a banana daiquiri with all the food protein is the answer to the problem. It got me through the last tour, having that every day and nothing else to eat."

-Jimmy Page, discussing his strident anti-food policy withRock Focus magazine in 1977. This falls in stark contrast to Page's life in the 1990s, when the British newspaperN.M.E. kept accusing him of eating too much pie. That cruel era is over, thankfully — now everybody just thinks he looks like George Washington.

As if the protein makes his liquid diet excusable. rolleyes.gifI have a question though: Did he mix in heroin to make the meal complete?slapface.gif

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Just someone, (like everyone and their brother these days) who wants to be a blogger and write something that will earn him a book contract or pulitzer. Just utter crap.

Edited by sixpense
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That was a great read and I took it in the true sense of the pisstake that it was.Although it's probably not an article for the humour impaired.

And Jonesy's phone?:

"Well, it served no purpose really. It just was put there sometime during rehearsals and soundcheck and just became stuck there and became sort of glued to the set. I really don't know why it just sort of never got moved." "I'm just glad it never actually rang during a number! I wouldn't know what to do!!" -- John Paul Jones
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Just someone, (like everyone and their brother these days) who wants to be a blogger and write something that will earn him a book contract or pulitzer. Just utter crap.

Klosterman has actually already written and published a series of very successful books.

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This line about Plant seems to hit it on the head:

"It's almost like Plant hates the one defining thing he does better than anyone who's ever lived."

So true Matt. Like you quote late,r and I heard this in interviews with Robert, that he would rather be remembered for Kashmir rather than Stairway. He once said to sum up Led Zeppelin that "Kashmir was the song" (to define the band). That's probably pretty close to a direct quote. It was probably around 1988 or about, I'd guess.

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Just someone, (like everyone and their brother these days) who wants to be a blogger and write something that will earn him a book contract or pulitzer. Just utter crap.

Clueless and "utter crap".

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Brilliiantly written! He was able to include all the criticisms of Zep and make them either trivial or humerous! I love how he included his own fantasy sequences as well. And it also gives an interesting take of both the history of the band as well as the 70's in general. Judging from the comments to the article, I'd say his style apparently isn't for everyone. Much like Monty Python - which I think is some of THE best comedy ever performed - I have friends "just don't get it" while they can laugh hysterically at "The Big Bang Theory" or "Scrubs". To each his/her own, but I thought it was a great artcile and well written to the point that I plan to check out the books he's authored!

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Hey Stryder1978, I have all of Chuck's books and I heartily recommend them all, but you can start with:

Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs and Chuck Klosterman IV.

He's so entertaining that I'm willing to forgive the fact he likes kiss.

By the way, if you enjoyed this, I started a Chuck Klosterman thread over in the Led Zeppelin Master Forum for his essays on Led Zeppelin and readers reactions.

The first essay I've posted is his take on why Zeppelin is eternally popular from his book "Killing Yourself to Live". Check it out.

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Strider,

Thanks for adding your contribution on the other site....loved it! Thanks to you and Jahfin, Chuck has another fan. Just ordered three of his books from Amazon...."Eating the Dinosaur"...LMAO! I think he owes you two a cut of his profits for adding to his fanbase!

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Very good article from the Chuck. I enjoyed the humor and honesty he wrote this with. it was funny and took an interesting look at the low point of the bands career and made a great point at the end. Zeppelin's worst would be considered solid gold my most others. So to look at their final performances may not be the best thing out of their catalog, they were still something to marvel. They were so good that even their "worst" was spectacular.

Well written article. Might have to read more from this guy. Seen his books and heard about them. Might be time to give them a chance.

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