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Ask the DRUNK for advice


DRUNK

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Dear Drunk,

how the hell do I get through high school?

High school sucks, even for those that think it's good. They eventually realize what a bunch of bullshit it all is.

What are you worried about? Academic performance? Fitting in socially? There could be a million differant things.

Elaborate some more, and maybe you'll get a better answer.

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Dear Drunk;

Are you an asshole all the time, just when it serves your purposes, or does it always serve your puposes? Please exlpain.

-poop

Hey kids!

It's never a good idea to eat poop.

Poop is your friend!

Why, if you didn't Poop, you would be able to enjoy all those delicious and healthy things you eat!

But Poop isn't one of them.

Poop is your tummy's way of saying "yum" after it's had tummy fun!

So remember to wash your hands after you poop!

Your friend,

Poop.

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Does God have feet?

I'll take this one, DRUNK.

Yes, bigdickbozo, God has feet.

Beautiful lotus feet.

Which are most proper to worship.

Ask any Hindu.

~666

PS - are you a dumbass by trade ... or is it a hobby?

Edited by Old Scratch
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Dear Drunk,

What is MSG, and why does Chinese food have so much on it?

Since you're sleeping your hangover off ... I'll take this one:

eviljane ...

Umami ( 旨み、旨味, うまみ, Umami?) is one of the proposed five basic tastes sensed by specialized receptor cells present on the human tongue.[1] The same taste is also known as xiānwèi (traditional Chinese: 鮮味; simplified Chinese: 鲜味) in Chinese cooking. Umami is a Japanese word meaning "savory" or "meaty" and thus applies to the sensation of savoriness—specifically, to the detection of glutamates, which are especially common in meats, cheese and other protein-heavy foods. The action of umami receptors explains why foods treated with monosodium glutamate (MSG) often taste "fuller".

That was a very un-entertaining question.

You need to buck up and do better.

Thanks for your cooperation.

~666

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Dear Drunk;

Are you an asshole all the time, just when it serves your purposes, or does it always serve your puposes? Please exlpain.

-poop

You seem to be stepping on Poop.

You, sir, and a charletan and knave.

Perhaps you should crawl back up the dog's ass from which you came?

Thanks so much.

~666

Edited by Old Scratch
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Since you're sleeping your hangover off ... I'll take this one:

eviljane ...

Umami ( 旨み、旨味, うまみ, Umami?) is one of the proposed five basic tastes sensed by specialized receptor cells present on the human tongue.[1] The same taste is also known as xiānwèi (traditional Chinese: 鮮味; simplified Chinese: 鲜味) in Chinese cooking. Umami is a Japanese word meaning "savory" or "meaty" and thus applies to the sensation of savoriness—specifically, to the detection of glutamates, which are especially common in meats, cheese and other protein-heavy foods. The action of umami receptors explains why foods treated with monosodium glutamate (MSG) often taste "fuller".

~666

Also, food that sits for a bit before being served to the eventual consumer often has MSG added because it helps foods retain flavor, and leafy greens and the like don't wilt like Scratch on a red wine and Snow Patrol bender.

;)

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You seem to be stepping on Poop.

You, sir, and a charletan and knave.

Perhaps you should crawl back up the dog's ass from which you came?

Thanks so much.

Oh mighty all knowing Drunk

Is it a common tactic to avoid answering the question posed to you, or have you not yet accept your own personal assholery? It is nothing to be ashamed of, many of us are assholes; myself included. Stay strong, I'm sure you'll come out alright.

-poop

Edited by donteatpoop
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Oh mighty all knowing Drunk

Is it a common tactic to avoid answering the question posed to you, or have you not yet accept your own personal assholery? It is nothing to be ashamed of, many of us are assholes; myself included. Stay strong, I'm sure you'll come out alright.

-poop

Dear Craphole,

I am not DRUNK.

You, sir, are most obviously a fucktard.

You may now lick the veiny portal which birthed you ... located smartly betwixt my pasty white buttcheeks and south of your favorite tea.

You're welcome.

~666

Edited by Old Scratch
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Dear Drunk,

I fit into high school well, socially. But, academically, I am in a plummet faster than a rock down a cliff. So, how in the hell do I get through that.

Dear DBZ.

I'm standing in for DRUNK. He's too DRUNK to answer right now.

So I have declared myself his proxy.

natch.

So ... back to your query ...

Well, dear, it's a good thing that you are good-looking, because you have no recourse but to drop out of school, get married and have a bunch of babies.

I mean, it's not like you're not good for SOMEthing...

You're welcome.

~666

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I found that mildly amusing, EGG.

However, the sharpness of your wit cuts not unlike your flaccid shrinkie-dink penetrates.

Not very deeply.

Indeed.

~666

Of course you found it only "mildly amusing".....most things are only mildly amusing in the morning hours, unless of course you lead a sexless existence, then you've just been up too much longer than the rest of us.

The "flaccid" penis penetrates nothing....it is the penis infused with blood that holds the necessary amount of rigidity needed to penetrate even the weakest form of resistance.

I'm going hope that you're just having an off day, or that you're a bass player.

~777

777? I win!!!!

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