The cutting edge of the English language

[TypeO]

Got this in an email, and couldn't stop laughing.

I especially love the alternate meanings to common words.

Good stuff.

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
   
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
   
3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
   
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
   
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
   
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
   
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
   
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
   
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
   
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
    
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
    
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
    
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
    
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
    
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
    
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
    
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
    

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
   
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
   
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
   
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
   
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
   
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
   
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
   
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
   
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
   
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
    
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
    
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
    
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
    
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
    
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
    
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men
    

[slave to zep]

typo, thanks for posting! i have seen these type of lists before, and they always make me laugh.

not in the same league, i s'pose, but in a similar vein, is an aussie comedy show called kath and kim. they deict a family of real bogans, who are always getting their sayings wrong. one of my favourites is '' oh kim, it's easy! it's not rocket surgery ...''

[DAS]

My favorite is Ignoranus.

[Walter]

Good stuff Type O!!!

[TypeO]

Sarchasm = genius.

[Strider]

That was brilliant! Thanks for posting that, Type O. Sarchasm was one of the ones I liked best, too...it's going immediately into my vocabulary.

Hey Slave, what's a "bogan"?

[slave to zep]

That was brilliant! Thanks for posting that, Type O. Sarchasm was one of the ones I liked best, too...it's going immediately into my vocabulary.

Hey Slave, what's a "bogan"?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bogan

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bogan

these may help!

[Jangles]

Those Wiki pages don't come close to describing a real Bogan.

I think you'll agree Slave, trying to describe a Bogan to a non Aussie is hard to do.

Their voice and accent alone makes me wince and embarrassed to be a fellow Australian.

[slave to zep]

Those Wiki pages don't come close to describing a real Bogan.

I think you'll agree Slave, trying to describe a Bogan to a non Aussie is hard to do.

Their voice and accent alone makes me wince and embarrassed to be a fellow Australian.

i know! i started tying, then i thought .... oh that doesn''t quite sound right, so i just ut those links up.

strider, when you meet one, you will know!

[Anjin-san]

Dirt bag.

Glad to help,....

[slave to zep]

All Australians sound the same to us.

So you're all bogans.

bloody oath.

[slave to zep]

Seriously though, can non-Brits tell the difference between/identify our more extreme dialects - eg Brummy, Scouse, Geordie?

Or is 'Bogan' more of a class thing than geographical?

well i can tell different british ones, but not necessarily name them. yeah, bogan is a class thing, working class and lower. the guys love hotted up cars, wear flannelette shirts, drink beer, worship 80s aussie rock bands, and yell out ''' FUCK YEAH '' quite a lot

[Jangles]

I can tell the difference between many of the British accents too, probably because i've got British rels from all over the place and i've been there a few times too.

From what I understand a Bogan and Redneck would be similar.

I just did a quick search with the intention of finding some bogan talk on youtube, but found a good description of a Bogan instead.

It's partially tongue in cheek, but sadly and hilariously, most of it is true

http://www.bogan.com...ition/index.php

I'm editing to advise not to look at anything else on there. It's foul, offensive and embarrassing.

[redrum]

First list, # 15-----That's me. :^)

[Strider]

Thanks for the help on "bogans" slave, MM et al. It's funny, once someone mentioned the class thing, I immediately thought of the Chavs of the UK...I guess "wiggas" is the closest equivalent in the U.S. Anyway, it's crystal clear to me now what a bogan is.

What I still would like to know is how the word was derived. I understand that CHAV has its roots in "chavo" or "chavvy" from the Romani/Gypsy language(the acronym council-house-and-violent came after the fact) and WIGGA is fairly obvious: whites trying to act gansta.

But I haven't been able to adequately find out the etymology of "bogan".

[slave to zep]

Thanks for the help on "bogans" slave, MM et al. It's funny, once someone mentioned the class thing, I immediately thought of the Chavs of the UK...I guess "wiggas" is the closest equivalent in the U.S. Anyway, it's crystal clear to me now what a bogan is.

What I still would like to know is how the word was derived. I understand that CHAV has its roots in "chavo" or "chavvy" from the Romani/Gypsy language(the acronym council-house-and-violent came after the fact) and WIGGA is fairly obvious: whites trying to act gansta.

But I haven't been able to adequately find out the etymology of "bogan".

sorry mate, i have no idea where it derived from!

[TypeO]

well i can tell different british ones, but not necessarily name them. yeah, bogan is a class thing, working class and lower. the guys love hotted up cars, wear flannelette shirts, drink beer, worship 80s aussie rock bands, and yell out ''' FUCK YEAH '' quite a lot

Something about that makes me think of Lawrence in Office Space.

Fuckin' A!

Or Peppers from Old School.

[slave to zep]

Something about that makes me think of Lawrence in Office Space.

Fuckin' A!

Or Peppers from Old School.

well, i don't know those two, but they sure do look bogan ..... lol