weslgarlic Posted December 14, 2012 Share Posted December 14, 2012 Anyone got any band jokes? Here’s a Rolling Stones joke! after hearing about the latest Rolling Stones tour,it reminded me of a tale my mum told me that her mum had taken her to a Rock 'n' Roll package tour in the early sixties .Anyway Headline act singer Cliff Richard was walking around the set saying they might not be able to play because guitarist Hank Marvin was sick ,my gran said she knew all their licks and played a full set and greated fans after wards ,where suppoert act singer Rolling Stones Mick Jagger ran across to my mum and yelled " Have you seen your mother baby ,standin for the shadows " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Led Dirigible Posted December 14, 2012 Share Posted December 14, 2012 Didn't you already post this as a thread called "Rolling Stones joke"? And you already made a joke thread called "Has anyone heard of laughter"? Additionally, there is a thread in the Ramble On section called "Make me laugh!". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chillumpuffer Posted December 14, 2012 Share Posted December 14, 2012 I don't think he's a full shilling Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weslgarlic Posted December 16, 2012 Author Share Posted December 16, 2012 A fly wants to take a holiday, so he pops down to the travel agents, where he asks the travel agent “do you do holidays for flies?” “Yes you’re in luck this month we have a celebrity special’s in Monte Carlo ,The weather’s ideal for flies “ replied the travel agent adding “ if you go now you can have a week in Ringo Starr’s hair” a week later the fly is back complaining that “ we never left the basement flat ,my heads spinning from all the dope smoked and thud, thud ,thud of the drummer all day and all night “”Sorry to hear about that ,I can offer you a week in Omar Shariff’s tash” replied the travel agent , so a week later the flies in complaining again “horrible yellow casino lights, nasty aftershave vile cigar smoke , I was wrenching all the time” ”sorry sir all we have left is a week in Bridget Bardot’s muff “ a week later the fly is back ,The travel agent says “ Don’t you did not enjoy it “ “ Well it started off brilliantly great view of the beach , pool ,palm trees and hotel,the waiter brought over all the food & drink so we did not have to move ,but before I knew I back was in Omar Shariff;s tash “ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strider Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 Oy vey. Give it a rest, will you? Or at least try to post in a more readable format. Your punctuation style gives me a headache. Also, most of your threads are on topics that already have existing threads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weslgarlic Posted December 16, 2012 Author Share Posted December 16, 2012 WHY did Antony Worrall Thompson steal so much Cream? He is a Clapton Maniac Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross62 Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 Like I said elsewhere weslgarlic, you're as sharp as a pound of wet leather. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Shep Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 you're as sharp as a pound of wet leather. LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joe (Liverpool) Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 WHY did Antony Worrall Thompson steal so much Cream? He is a Clapton Maniac Take your medication and lay down somewhere quiet you Dickhead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Shep Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 Haha, nice one Joe, subtle as a brick in the face as usual, lulz. I think they call it 'Yorkshire Humour'...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joe (Liverpool) Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 Haha, nice one Joe, subtle as a brick in the face as usual, lulz. I think they call it 'Yorkshire Humour'...? Erm, sorry Old Shep, but people from Yorkshire do not have a sense of humour. I'm from Liverpool, which was originally in Lancashire, now it is in Merseyside. Remember the saying "Yorkshire Born, Yorkshire Bread........Strong In The Arm, Thick In The Head" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Shep Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 No I don't remember that one, but whoever made it up desereves a knighthood Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joe (Liverpool) Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 Hear Hear, my brother and all his children have lived in Yorkshire for years and years. he now speaks with a Yorkshire accent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weslgarlic Posted December 18, 2012 Author Share Posted December 18, 2012 Hear Hear, my brother and all his children have lived in Yorkshire for years and years. he now speaks with a Yorkshire accent. U f o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Shep Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 Hear Hear, my brother and all his children have lived in Yorkshire for years and years. he now speaks with a Yorkshire accent. Is he the same one who makes LZ sweatshirts for you? If so, that's cool, and he should be forgiven and nurtured. If it's another brother, my advice would be to disown him immediately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joe (Liverpool) Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 Is he the same one who makes LZ sweatshirts for you? If so, that's cool, and he should be forgiven and nurtured. If it's another brother, my advice would be to disown him immediately. No the one who makes the sweatshirts lives in Cornwall!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Shep Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 Well Joe I've given you my advice, it's in your hands now. Ask yourself this: do you really want to hear endless drunken renditions of "On Ilkley Moor Baht 'at" for the rest of your life? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joe (Liverpool) Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 Well Joe I've given you my advice, it's in your hands now. Ask yourself this: do you really want to hear endless drunken renditions of "On Ilkley Moor Baht 'at" for the rest of your life? Well Joe I've given you my advice, it's in your hands now. Ask yourself this: do you really want to hear endless drunken renditions of "On Ilkley Moor Baht 'at" for the rest of your life? I hardly ever see him anyway, besides that he did not speak to me when I had long hair. Nlo great loss on my part as he is just a twat, who is 9 years older than me, and he lives in his own little world. When my parents died 3 years ago his wife said that they had no reason to visit Liverpool any more. She wasn't too pleased when I started laughing. No great loss as far as I am concerned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Shep Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 Here is a band joke. Q: at band practice, how do you make sure the band plays a song twice at the same tempo? A: on the 2nd run-through, get the drummer to sit it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weslgarlic Posted January 6, 2013 Author Share Posted January 6, 2013 what do Yoko Ono and Ethiopians have in common? both live off dead Beatles. What do drugs and Yoko have in common? They're both good ways to ruin a band. What do Dale Earnheart and Pink Floyd have in common? Their last big hit was 'the wall.' What do classic rock songs and thongs have in common? They're both in G. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fool In The Rain 60 Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 what do Yoko Ono and Ethiopians have in common? both live off dead Beatles. What do drugs and Yoko have in common? They're both good ways to ruin a band. What do Dale Earnheart and Pink Floyd have in common? Their last big hit was 'the wall.' What do classic rock songs and thongs have in common? They're both in G. You want to Re-name this Thread as 'BAD jokes' you sick Bastard!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joe (Liverpool) Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 A good joke in my opinion is "Oasis" now they were a joke of a band. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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