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TheLastSpartan

What Do You Do When You Feel You Can't Go On?

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Sometimes there comes a point in everyone's life when we feel it just isn't worth it. Sometimes we feel like "Whats the point?", and I hate to say it, but I'm at that point. While I won't go really into detail about my life (If you care enough PM me about it), I will say this. I have been through some rough shit, but I also have it a lot better than a lot of people. But, lately I've just lost faith in myself. I just feel like it all isn't worth it. I feel as if I'm not smart enough to get through college and GED classes. People say otherwise, but no, they aren't me, they don't know for sure how exactly things go in my mind. They don't know how I learn, how well I learn, how I retain information or any of that. I don't have the drive to do anything. I look for a job from time to time, but never had the drive to just go out and apply at every single store then call them all up each day for like a week straight. I don't have the drive for school, nor the smarts. As far as to why I am coming to some random internet forum, it's because while I could go to a family member about this, I feel as if I can't go to a family member about it. I have huge trouble talking to my family about stuff. Yeah, I feel more comfortable going to internet strangers for a small amount of help than my own family, but it's whatever I guess. Not trying to whine in my post, but I just feel I'm about to break. I'm not suicidal, no worry about me taking my own life or harming myself (at least physically), but mentally I abuse myself. No self esteem. I have to hide how I feel. I just don't know what I'm going to do with my life. Oh well. Anyways, this is my rant of the day, I just had to get this all out. If someone else feels similar, don't worry, you aren't alone. Well, that's all I guess.

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I went through a very rough patch in my life (parents divorce, suicide of a close friend) which was enough for me to want to just disappear or stop living. I know that this will probably be the generic answer here, but music really did help me get through what was happening to me in that time. I would just stay in my room all day and listen to a lot of Pink Floyd. Music hasn't really healed everything that happened, but I can function a hell of a lot better.

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Sometimes there comes a point in everyone's life when we feel it just isn't worth it. Sometimes we feel like "Whats the point?", and I hate to say it, but I'm at that point. While I won't go really into detail about my life (If you care enough PM me about it), I will say this. I have been through some rough shit, but I also have it a lot better than a lot of people. But, lately I've just lost faith in myself. I just feel like it all isn't worth it. I feel as if I'm not smart enough to get through college and GED classes. People say otherwise, but no, they aren't me, they don't know for sure how exactly things go in my mind. They don't know how I learn, how well I learn, how I retain information or any of that. I don't have the drive to do anything. I look for a job from time to time, but never had the drive to just go out and apply at every single store then call them all up each day for like a week straight. I don't have the drive for school, nor the smarts. As far as to why I am coming to some random internet forum, it's because while I could go to a family member about this, I feel as if I can't go to a family member about it. I have huge trouble talking to my family about stuff. Yeah, I feel more comfortable going to internet strangers for a small amount of help than my own family, but it's whatever I guess. Not trying to whine in my post, but I just feel I'm about to break. I'm not suicidal, no worry about me taking my own life or harming myself (at least physically), but mentally I abuse myself. No self esteem. I have to hide how I feel. I just don't know what I'm going to do with my life. Oh well. Anyways, this is my rant of the day, I just had to get this all out. If someone else feels similar, don't worry, you aren't alone. Well, that's all I guess.

In all seriousness you need to talk to someone in person. Someone that is professional that can help you. These feelings you have are nothing to take lightly. I have seen the end result hit my own home tragically. I hope you will listen. Sometimes we can have an imbalance that is chemical in our brain that makes us feel very depressed. Depression is very common and we all go through it at times in our lives. Please go see someone. If you are not willing, you can pm me any time. I do not take these matters lightly

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In all seriousness you need to talk to someone in person. Someone that is professional that can help you. These feelings you have are nothing to take lightly. I have seen the end result hit my own home tragically. I hope you will listen. Sometimes we can have an imbalance that is chemical in our brain that makes us feel very depressed. Depression is very common and we all go through it at times in our lives. Please go see someone. If you are not willing, you can pm me any time. I do not take these matters lightly

Spartan, Rick is 100% correct. You're at a very trying age in life.. and you don't have to go through it alone.

There's no shame in getting professional help.

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Dear Spartan, I have lurked here for easily the past 5 years and never registered but enjoyed learning more about the band and it's fans over the years. Your comment made me finally break down and register and post. I post as I have been in rough spots in my life but luckily for me, not felt as you do currently. I decided to write from another perspective, my wife and I have lost a son. While you say you aren't suicidal I still worry for you. You may feel like the world is a dark, rough place and it can be. However you are loved more than you likely know. What happens is many times you just don't realize how many people care for you because it's often hidden. I can tell you I would give ANYTHING and I mean ANYTHING to have my son back with me and my family I have no doubt there is someone in circle of family and friends that feels the same way about you. I hope you can seek them out and talk with them, the world is a wonderful place sometimes it just takes the proper point of view to see it. God bless you and if this place has a pm and you would like to talk, please feel free to pm me to talk anytime.

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I've been thinking about posting on here for a while but was afraid to. Now I see I have an opening. I am going through a hard time myself right now. In some ways it is similar in that my self-esteem is shot. I've always struggled with self-acceptance but now it's worse than ever. I'd rather not go into details right here, but I pretty much wasted the last 2-3 years of my life. Some days I'm okay and others I feel so unmotivated I stay in bed all day. My problem is incredibly mild compared to what many people go through so that is why I keep quiet about it. I have talked to my parents about it and they have encouraged me, but they are one of the few that give me support as I don't have any friends to speak of. Anyway, Spartan, I hope things get better for you.

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Sometimes, for life to have meaning, you have to be helping others.

That takes the focus off of you, and by focusing on others, to help them, you give yourself space to realize that life is worth living.

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The Rover is right in that helping others in need also feeds the soul of those who give the help.

I have had some down times and wallowed in a pity party from time to time. Then I see others who are facing harder times then I am either economically or health wise and feel I have no right to complain about my life and it snaps me out of it.

Please take care.

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Thank you to everyone who responded and PMed me. I know I haven't been the best at responding to this thread or PMs for the day it's been up, but with real life taking the front seat and me being the kind of person who has to gather my words and be in the mood to reply, I hoped it wouldn't be too long until both happened. Well, my thoughts are gathered now and I'm in the mood to reply. For those who sent PMs, I'll respond after I get this post out on here.

Strider - Thank for the videos. Music heals the soul.

Planted - I feel as if I've screwed my life up enough to where the past will always haunt me. I wish I could restart life, but at the same time I wouldn't trade the friends I've made for anything in the world.

sickagain98 - Sorry to hear you went through that. I appreciate you posting here though. Things suck sometimes, but we just gotta find a way through it.

Ledzeppfan77 - Thanks. At this point it just feels normal though, I mean I know it isn't normal but it's gotten to that point where it's just become part of my life. I've had therapy for over 4 years, and on and off medication, on different types and dosage, etc. I am glad you don't just think lightly of these matters, because they are serious.

the chase - See above, I have had help for over 4 years.

Da Hammer - I feel honored, but at the same time sad that I was the reason you joined. I mean, I'm honored and glad to know my post has made someone want to join and contribute, but at the same time it was the context that you joined that makes me sad. It also makes me sad to hear you lost your son. I am very sorry to hear that. The world does seem dark and lonely for me right now, but perhaps there is light at the end of this tunnel.

HeyHeyWhatCanIDo - I am sorry to hear you are going through a rough patch. At least you aren't in this alone. I appreciate your comment. You get better soon, it will get better, and that goes to everyone.

The Rover - I do my best to help my friends and be there for them, but it seems most of the time I am not the go to person for them.

ledzepfvr - Although there are people who are very much worse off, it doesn't necessarily mean your problems are nothing. If you have some issues, you should seek help with them, and not take them lightly, not push them to the wayside. They will come back, and stronger. I hope you take care, and thank you for the comment.

Well, I addressed mostly everyone here, and I really do appreciate you all commenting and PMing me. This is a very rough time for me right now, so any help I can get is much appreciated. Basically, here are some details on me:

Not suicidal. I couldn't take my own life if I wanted to

Anxiety disorder is almost gone. Well, I'm sure I still have this but I noticed I haven't took my medicine in weeks and I haven't had a panic attack in months, so I am finally getting over my anxiety disorder. After a good roughly 4 years of no hope.

I've been on several medications and dosages over the past 4 or so years, had therapy with a therapist the same amount of time too. Haven't seen her in a few months so maybe it's time to get back in for an appointment.

Anyways, one last time your comments are appreciated. Sorry I didn't reply earlier, but as I said I have to be in the right mood and have my words and thoughts gathered before I do a major post like this. Have a great day ya'll, PM respondin' time.

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Spartan, don't feel bad for "making me join" I've been needing to do it for years. I've always found when you are down you never know where your way up and out will come from. Even some nut job on the internet can be a help at times. I hope everyone here/anywhere can help you find your way to happiness.

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FukitolPill.jpg

That's like when they gave Lisa Simpson some 'Ignorital' and all she saw were smiley faces on everything.

But seriously, I've been there and know the feeling. That was way back when I was 18-19 years old and was contemplating suicide due to LSD abuse. But somehow I made my way through it and I have to give a lot of credit to my childhood friends who got me a job where they worked. I remember the day when that curse seemed to leave me and my heart opened up to the world and I was so happy to be alive and have been positive ever since despite life's ups and downs. I'd say just give yourself time and I hope things work out for you.

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I know this isn't much help, but the only word that comes to mind after reading both of your personal threads is.....Spats.

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Anxiety disorder is almost gone. Well, I'm sure I still have this but I noticed I haven't took my medicine in weeks and I haven't had a panic attack in months, so I am finally getting over my anxiety disorder. After a good roughly 4 years of no hope.

I've been on several medications and dosages over the past 4 or so years, had therapy with a therapist the same amount of time too. Haven't seen her in a few months so maybe it's time to get back in for an appointment.

It sounds like you should go back and see your therapist. If you don't mind me asking, what kind of meds are you taking for your anxiety attacks ? Break through meds like say ativan or are you on something daily to prevent ? Both ?

The reason I ask is that if you're on a daily med that is designed to help prevent your attacks then just stopping them suddenly, can cause the reverse effect.

Edited by ally

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TheLastSpartan - hang on in there, and remember: no matter how dark it gets, never turn off the light. Ignore all the a**holes - & there's plenty of 'em! - and don't let the b*stards grind ya down

I am going through a hard time myself right now. In some ways it is similar in that my self-esteem is shot. I've always struggled with self-acceptance but now it's worse than ever. I'd rather not go into details right here, but I pretty much wasted the last 2-3 years of my life.

Try not to look at it as "wasting years of your life", rather, the last couple of years didn't go the direction you wanted. After I graduated from University everybody got on my back about "wasting my Degree", "3 years' hard work wasted" because I wasn't getting the job they wanted me to get. That p*ssed me off and got me down

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Sometimes there comes a point in everyone's life when we feel it just isn't worth it. Sometimes we feel like "Whats the point?", and I hate to say it, but I'm at that point. While I won't go really into detail about my life (If you care enough PM me about it), I will say this. I have been through some rough shit, but I also have it a lot better than a lot of people. But, lately I've just lost faith in myself. I just feel like it all isn't worth it. I feel as if I'm not smart enough to get through college and GED classes. People say otherwise, but no, they aren't me, they don't know for sure how exactly things go in my mind. They don't know how I learn, how well I learn, how I retain information or any of that. I don't have the drive to do anything. I look for a job from time to time, but never had the drive to just go out and apply at every single store then call them all up each day for like a week straight. I don't have the drive for school, nor the smarts. As far as to why I am coming to some random internet forum, it's because while I could go to a family member about this, I feel as if I can't go to a family member about it. I have huge trouble talking to my family about stuff. Yeah, I feel more comfortable going to internet strangers for a small amount of help than my own family, but it's whatever I guess. Not trying to whine in my post, but I just feel I'm about to break. I'm not suicidal, no worry about me taking my own life or harming myself (at least physically), but mentally I abuse myself. No self esteem. I have to hide how I feel. I just don't know what I'm going to do with my life. Oh well. Anyways, this is my rant of the day, I just had to get this all out. If someone else feels similar, don't worry, you aren't alone. Well, that's all I guess.

We are given one life, one opportunity to be the best at which we are, you have the choice, live life to the fullest, or throw it away. When things are looking down, and you are getting kicked in the nut sack, living life is the best revenge!

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I've been there, had family who has been there..,., I agree you should see your therapist again soon... and know that it probably won't be a quick fix, but that things can get better over time.

Take care & good luck.

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