A big massive "ramble on"

[SozoZoso]

I guess that there may have been a topic somewhere here but who knows.

As you all well know that it hasn't been a easy ride for me lately, I have lost my job after a long nearly 13 years working in small family firm making picture frames. It wasn't much but in the end, I did learn quite a bit and I did love it. There had been a few major changes in my life such as finally getting to pass my driving test, watching my little cousins growing up and having families of thier own even silly things like having the extenstion in our house plus a few bad things (RA for example)...This all happened in those 13 years in my old job.

But then in the summer this year, the cracks in work turned into a vast canyon and was told that was it, the place was closing. Now the thing was that my boss HAD the opportunity to save the place, the courts had given him a good 4 months to downsize the factory but IMHO he couldn't give a toss (To cut a long story, the factory was owned by the father...a utter gentleman when I first started there but then he became really ill and had to pass it onto his son who IMHO was born with a silver spoon up his ass and couldn't be bothered running it)

Now I'm out of work, I'm currently/desparately seeking work and things are not good. I'm not sleeping and if I do, I sleep too much. I've lost weight as I cannot be bothered to eat properly. Recently a mate of mine has tried to help me with a CV but has went a bit overboard using "fancy words" to which has annoyed me as I know that in my head I won't get the job (I actually walked out at that point to which my sister, who is becoming quite worried about me, has came to see me only for me to tell her that I think I am cracking up)

Yesterday I found myself looking at the old job website only to break down in tears. Like I am constently reminded of it, my head is everywhere, I feel like a zombie. Stupid things keep entering my head like if I had the chance to take over my old job, in my name maybe downsizing it a bit and start from scratch. I've even tried "cold calling" picture framers and galleries asking them if they are looking for staff, I've even named dropped my old place.

[SozoZoso]

I know a few people will think i'm sad but I felt that I wanted to talk/needed to talk or whatever or at least empty all my thoughts onto here, even the black ones

[Susan Gibson]

Sometimes it does help just to get it all out. I can empathize with the feeling of having my head all over the place and not being able to sleep. I have gone through that myself. Not sadness just not really knowing what was next for me in life. And I was at a point where I think I would have hit the next person who told me that things would turn around, look up, etc,etc. But I have really come to believe that everything really happens for a reason but sometimes it just takes time for that reason to become apparent.

So please feel free to "ramble on" anytime you need to. I'm happy to listen and help if I can (as I'm sure many others are as well).

[SteveAJones]

I know a few people will think i'm sad but I felt that I wanted to talk/needed to talk or whatever or at least empty all my thoughts onto here, even the black ones

Perhaps it's time to change your focus...from the past to the future. In order to do that, you have to be clear about what you really want.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJIbBzvITqo

[60blues]

I am sending you a big hug......nothing can compare to having one's world turned upside down. Don't be too hard on yourself right now...you've had such a turn of events...that you do need time to yourself. You will come through this...you just need time. Take a deep breath....don't look back.. look forward....and never be afraid to reach out for help even if it just means wanting a few ears to listen to you. I truly believe in the " when one door closes another one opens " theory in life....just give it all a little bit of time...

[pottedplant]

SoZo- Your post breaks my heart. I know it won't give you much comfort, but there are literally millions of people in your situation. Don't blame yourself if you can't find a job. It's not you, it's the economy. Maybe some training in a field where jobs can be found. Stay strong.

[Matjaz1]

SozoZoso I hope everything works out well for you! Keep your strenghts and keep in my mind, there are always people around, that will help you! I feal deep pain

about your situation in my soul and it reminds me of my painfull times and when you are really down, just think how lucky you still are, that you are not in any way stigmatised! I was and I know how it feels, when the world gives you a bit of a feeling some times, like you have nobody!

Stay strong and your family and friends will help you I'm shure! Oh and ofcourse, listen to music and SING when you are down, give it a lot of emotion and you will feel better!

[Strider]

My reaction is the same as 60blues. No words...just a nice big hug. So come here, SozoZoso, and let me hug you.

[SozoZoso]

Cheers guys, I think part of my problem is that I find it hard to let go. I don't like change and especially if it comes to things that are out of my control. If I want change I would rather do it in my own terms. And I kinda guess also that I tend to be fiercely loyal which is the reason that even with the bull that I put up with the son from my old place, I felt I still had a duty or link (if you all know what I mean) to stay put.

I admit that I do find it tough to look forward, all my life I always look behind and I know that it is not the answer or what you would call "healthy" but I've always been like that. I guess that's part just a part of me that I cannot change, no matter if I try hard to do the opposite.

[kenog]

SozoZoso,

A few months ago, you may remember I gave you legal advice on how to deal with your employer. However, it looks like you stayed put. From reading your opening paragraph in this thread, my advice now is for you to see your General Practitioner (Doctor) and tell him exactly how you are feeling with sleeplessness and becoming tearful - they may be able to help you with that. Also, you could ask your doctor if you could be signed off for sickness benefit or whatever they call it nowadays. I am not saying that the above would be a long term solution, but it may help you in the short term.

Kind regards to you.

Cheers guys, I think part of my problem is that I find it hard to let go. I don't like change and especially if it comes to things that are out of my control. If I want change I would rather do it in my own terms. And I kinda guess also that I tend to be fiercely loyal which is the reason that even with the bull that I put up with the son from my old place, I felt I still had a duty or link (if you all know what I mean) to stay put.

I admit that I do find it tough to look forward, all my life I always look behind and I know that it is not the answer or what you would call "healthy" but I've always been like that. I guess that's part just a part of me that I cannot change, no matter if I try hard to do the opposite.

[slave to zep]

i agree with kenog. you have to look after your health atm, so when you are better you can start to look for another job or training.

but .... it's ok to have some time to refresh yourself! have a break and get into a better place ( in your head, i mean ). is there a friend or relative that you can go and stay with for a mini holiday? if not, just try and relax in which ever way you prefer.

[Disco Duck]

Cheers guys, I think part of my problem is that I find it hard to let go. I don't like change and especially if it comes to things that are out of my control. If I want change I would rather do it in my own terms. And I kinda guess also that I tend to be fiercely loyal which is the reason that even with the bull that I put up with the son from my old place, I felt I still had a duty or link (if you all know what I mean) to stay put.

I admit that I do find it tough to look forward, all my life I always look behind and I know that it is not the answer or what you would call "healthy" but I've always been like that. I guess that's part just a part of me that I cannot change, no matter if I try hard to do the opposite.

First, I want to say that I'm sorry about your former job. IMO, it's only natural to become attached to a place where you worked for 13 years and the people with whom you worked. Second, I think Kenog gave you some good advice about seeing your doctor for a complete check up. Figuring out what to do next career-wise will require energy and focus from you. You need to find out if you have any medical issues that are causing your insomnia, etc. and deal with them. Otherwise you won't be at your best while job hunting. If you lost your health insurance when your former employer folded, PM me and I'll share some suggestions on how you can still access medical care.

Also, check out your local unemployment office. They may have resume workshops, vocational testing and other services that could help you in your job search. One of the things you need to find out is what the current job market is like for your former position. If it's not that great you may want to consider retraining. How can the skills you learned at your former job be applied to a job in a different field. This is the sort of dilemma, a career counselor can help you with.

[kenog]

SozoZoso,

I have listed below some things which may be of help to you – I remember you saying that you are in Northern Ireland. I do fully realise when making suggestions that I am not in your shoes. Nevertheless, there is good advice in the posts above from SlaveToZep and Disco Duck. I think we are all in agreement that your doctor would be able to help you in the first instance.

Here is the link to the Northern Ireland JobCentre site which offers practical advice and information over and above being just a list of vacancies. http://www.nidirect.gov.uk/find-a-job

If you wanted to move into office work, search online for Teach Yourself Typing software, and also Teach Yourself Microsoft Office software (probably Office 2007 or 2010 would be best). You will find reasonably priced IT training software on Ebay.

If you want to draft your own CV, then there are plenty of free CV templates. If you don't have Microsoft Office software on your computer, then Apache Open Office is free to download, and they have different CV templates depending on how simple or complex you want it to be.

If you have a public library nearby, go in and ask for the careers section of books.

In case you were interested in further education, I have looked up the Open University in Northern Ireland for you. You don't attend lectures etc – it is distance learning. With your financial circumstances, you would get your 60 point module free of charge.

http://www.open.ac.uk/choose/ou/ony_r12

You can do an OU Access course if you don't feel confident about starting at undergraduate level. However, if you did want to do an undergraduate module, the modules are stand alone, by which I mean you are not obliged to do a degree. They will give you credit for any module you successfully complete.

Speak to an OU adviser

028 9032 3722

ireland@open.ac.uk

The following list will give you an idea of the areas the OU covers.

• Arts and Humanities

• Business and Management

• Childhood and Youth

• Computing and IT

• Education

• Engineering,Technology and Design

• Environment, Development and International Studies

• Health and Social Care

• Languages

• Law

• Mathematics and Statistics

• Psychology and Counselling

• Science

• Social Sciences

Cheers guys, I think part of my problem is that I find it hard to let go. I don't like change and especially if it comes to things that are out of my control. If I want change I would rather do it in my own terms. And I kinda guess also that I tend to be fiercely loyal which is the reason that even with the bull that I put up with the son from my old place, I felt I still had a duty or link (if you all know what I mean) to stay put.

I admit that I do find it tough to look forward, all my life I always look behind and I know that it is not the answer or what you would call "healthy" but I've always been like that. I guess that's part just a part of me that I cannot change, no matter if I try hard to do the opposite.

[jabe]

Hey SozoZoso, sorry to read about your situation. Many of us on the forum have walked in your shoes, myself included.

What I would say first off, is put good healthy fuel in you system and get moderate exercise.

Secondly, if I read you correctly, you're talented in the art of framing and must enjoy it if you stayed with it for several years.

If that's the case, consider taking your years of experience and start your own framing business. i know it can be a mind blower to think along those lines, but if you have the funds to get off the ground in a small way,and can persevere the bumps along the way, you can grow your business in the way you want to run it. You probably have loads of contacts at your disposal and could hit the ground running.

I'll be the first to say it wasn't easy, and it's not for everybody... and you don't get paid holidays or paid vacations, at least I don't.

But there is a satisfaction that goes beyond the aspect of money that I hope you get to experience.

Best of luck SozoZoso!

[clw]

I guess that there may have been a topic somewhere here but who knows.

As you all well know that it hasn't been a easy ride for me lately, I have lost my job after a long nearly 13 years working in small family firm making picture frames. It wasn't much but in the end, I did learn quite a bit and I did love it. There had been a few major changes in my life such as finally getting to pass my driving test, watching my little cousins growing up and having families of thier own even silly things like having the extenstion in our house plus a few bad things (RA for example)...This all happened in those 13 years in my old job.

But then in the summer this year, the cracks in work turned into a vast canyon and was told that was it, the place was closing. Now the thing was that my boss HAD the opportunity to save the place, the courts had given him a good 4 months to downsize the factory but IMHO he couldn't give a toss (To cut a long story, the factory was owned by the father...a utter gentleman when I first started there but then he became really ill and had to pass it onto his son who IMHO was born with a silver spoon up his ass and couldn't be bothered running it)

Now I'm out of work, I'm currently/desparately seeking work and things are not good. I'm not sleeping and if I do, I sleep too much. I've lost weight as I cannot be bothered to eat properly. Recently a mate of mine has tried to help me with a CV but has went a bit overboard using "fancy words" to which has annoyed me as I know that in my head I won't get the job (I actually walked out at that point to which my sister, who is becoming quite worried about me, has came to see me only for me to tell her that I think I am cracking up)

Yesterday I found myself looking at the old job website only to break down in tears. Like I am constently reminded of it, my head is everywhere, I feel like a zombie. Stupid things keep entering my head like if I had the chance to take over my old job, in my name maybe downsizing it a bit and start from scratch. I've even tried "cold calling" picture framers and galleries asking them if they are looking for staff, I've even named dropped my old place.

Hey my dear friend,I wish I could give you a hug.,.and a job!!!! Are things worse there than they are in the USA? The town I live in,my state actually.has such a low un employement rate,people are begging for help..is there anything I can do to help you?????

[MLE]

I guess that there may have been a topic somewhere here but who knows.

As you all well know that it hasn't been a easy ride for me lately, I have lost my job after a long nearly 13 years working in small family firm making picture frames. It wasn't much but in the end, I did learn quite a bit and I did love it. There had been a few major changes in my life such as finally getting to pass my driving test, watching my little cousins growing up and having families of thier own even silly things like having the extenstion in our house plus a few bad things (RA for example)...This all happened in those 13 years in my old job.

But then in the summer this year, the cracks in work turned into a vast canyon and was told that was it, the place was closing. Now the thing was that my boss HAD the opportunity to save the place, the courts had given him a good 4 months to downsize the factory but IMHO he couldn't give a toss (To cut a long story, the factory was owned by the father...a utter gentleman when I first started there but then he became really ill and had to pass it onto his son who IMHO was born with a silver spoon up his ass and couldn't be bothered running it)

Now I'm out of work, I'm currently/desparately seeking work and things are not good. I'm not sleeping and if I do, I sleep too much. I've lost weight as I cannot be bothered to eat properly. Recently a mate of mine has tried to help me with a CV but has went a bit overboard using "fancy words" to which has annoyed me as I know that in my head I won't get the job (I actually walked out at that point to which my sister, who is becoming quite worried about me, has came to see me only for me to tell her that I think I am cracking up)

Yesterday I found myself looking at the old job website only to break down in tears. Like I am constently reminded of it, my head is everywhere, I feel like a zombie. Stupid things keep entering my head like if I had the chance to take over my old job, in my name maybe downsizing it a bit and start from scratch. I've even tried "cold calling" picture framers and galleries asking them if they are looking for staff, I've even named dropped my old place.

I'm sorry to hear of your troubles, SozoZoso, my heart goes out to you. I know this isn't much consolation, but at least you're not alone in this. Soooo many people are out of work and having to choose between eating or paying the rent. Stay positive and focus on being happy. And remember, love doesn't cost a thing!

[SozoZoso]

Thanks everyone

Kenog, I'm gonna look into that, I really appreciate the trouble you have put into that info you have given me, many thanks for that.

Also I've started a few "cold calls"...checking out framers in and around my area to see if they need staff, it will be coming up to the start of the Christmas rush and I know how busy they could get. I've also a few other applications in, ones a cleaning job but it does pay the rent and puts food on the table.

I'll let you all know how that goes....here's hoping

Plus as for the break, myself and 2 mates are going "glamping" for 1 night in October....could do with a few nights mind but we'll see how it goes.

Also I wanna say sorry for the huge rambling, I'm not really that kind of person who does something like this but after the year of sheer hell, not just me but my family, my mum lost her job too, my gran, God love her, has not been very well and I guess everything has just got on top of me, hence the reason why a while ago I said that I couldn't wait to see the back of 2013 (13!!! Unlucky for some eh??)

As for now gonna try to get some sleep..and who knows if something DOES come up, the Mods here have my blessing to delete this thead so I won't be reminded of this and everything will get back to normal...here's hoping

Again, thanks guys

Edited September 22, 2013 by SozoZoso

[Disco Duck]

SozoZoso,

I'm sorry I didn't pick up on your location earlier. The health care access information I have is for people in the U.S. so I don't know that I could be of help to you in that area.

[kenog]

Hi SozoZoso,

Please don't apologise for what you refer to as "the huge rambling". You will see from the support and sympathy that you are getting from everyone who has posted on this thread, that we are happy to help.

I still urge you to make an appointment with your doctor, tell them what has happened and that you are suffering from sleeplessness, losing weight and crying. The medication which is prescribed for these symptoms takes about two weeks to kick in, but you would feel a whole lot better afterwards. Alternatively, you could ask for a short course of sleeping pills - UK doctors only give these for two weeks duration, but again it might be enough to help you cope on a day to day basis.

Apart from the Open University In N. Ireland option I put in my above post, have you checked out local colleges? Again, because of your financial circumstances, you will probably find that you would get them free.

BTW I forgot to put in my above post that you don't need any entrance qualifications for the OU, even for their degree courses. My experience is that the students who perform the best are the ones who left school at 16 with no qualifications.

Don't be afraid to apply for jobs which you think you won't get. If you don't apply, you definitely won't get them!!! I see that you drive. Perhaps in the short term you could get a driving job of some sorts.

Pleased to hear that you are going glamping! It will get you out of the house with your mates. Enjoy yourself.

Thanks everyone

Kenog, I'm gonna look into that, I really appreciate the trouble you have put into that info you have given me, many thanks for that.

Also I've started a few "cold calls"...checking out framers in and around my area to see if they need staff, it will be coming up to the start of the Christmas rush and I know how busy they could get. I've also a few other applications in, ones a cleaning job but it does pay the rent and puts food on the table.

I'll let you all know how that goes....here's hoping

Plus as for the break, myself and 2 mates are going "glamping" for 1 night in October....could do with a few nights mind but we'll see how it goes.

Also I wanna say sorry for the huge rambling, I'm not really that kind of person who does something like this but after the year of sheer hell, not just me but my family, my mum lost her job too, my gran, God love her, has not been very well and I guess everything has just got on top of me, hence the reason why a while ago I said that I couldn't wait to see the back of 2013 (13!!! Unlucky for some eh??)

As for now gonna try to get some sleep..and who knows if something DOES come up, the Mods here have my blessing to delete this thead so I won't be reminded of this and everything will get back to normal...here's hoping

Again, thanks guys

[redrum]

I know a few people will think i'm sad but I felt that I wanted to talk/needed to talk or whatever or at least empty all my thoughts onto here, even the black ones

I went through the same thing back in the 70's and the place I worked for went out of business. I was the last one there and locked the doors for the last time. I had nothing going after that and was collecting a lousy pittance for unemployment. Then a friend of mine had just gotten into the demolition business and asked if I wanted to give it a try as a laborer. I did but it was hard ass work for sure. I ended up there for almost 20 years and now have a decent pension from the union along with social security. I guess I'm saying that you never, ever know what's going to come along and I would think that with your experience as a frame maker there must be something out there for you. Just keep trying and keep your head up.

[Strider]

When one door closes another door opens, but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us. ~ Alexander Graham Bell

[planted]

"Don't cry because its over; smile because it happened." ~ Dr Seuss.

[LedZeppfan77]

"Don't cry because its over; smile because it happened." ~ Dr Seuss.

A great way of looking at it. And an unlikely source

[planted]

A great way of looking at it. And an unlikely source

Whatever.

[SozoZoso]

Well got a call from the blue from a good friend of mine, she emailed me at dinner time asking if I would like to come with her up to the north coast...on a school night!, now it's about an hour and and a half drive but it was so crazy, I mean it's usually something we would do in the weekends

I ended up sitting on the beach eating chips and watching the trawlers going into the harbour and she went paddling in the sea...pitch black with just a hint of pink in the horizon and for the 1st time in ages I really enjoyed it

Had to get bloods done this morning though and having tummy troubles since Saturday...I have a funny feeling it maybe the liver (due to stress and MXT i'm on) but if it is that it'll show up on the results but for now could do with more random nightime trips by the sea as I really enjoyed it (cream crackered now though!)

Edited September 24, 2013 by SozoZoso