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Do things ever get better?


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I mean, my life sucks. Sure I've got friends. Too many sometimes if you ask me. I'm a loner. But I work a shit job. I'm divorced (I divorced her by the way). But I just don't seem to be happy. Right now I think dating would really be complicating my life. Not to mention the only cool chicks I seem to meet are 10 to 15 years younger than me.

Maybe I'll just start drinking more.

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I'm sure things will get better. If you're newly divorced, maybe you jsut need to give it a bit more time?

Actually, I've been divorced for about a year and a half now. Don't get me wrong, there are a few chicks I've met that I get along with that I'd be interested in. I just don't want to get back into that dating scene yet. But I also haven't met that person that "wows" me. And I'm not putting myself out there. Hell, I went out last week and got kicked out of the bar. I won't get into that.

Funny thing is, most of my close friends are female. I stopped hooking up with friends a while back. It just ruins things.

I think I'll just kick back, drink some beers and let the winter run it's course while I work on myself a bit more.

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But I also haven't met that person that "wows" me. And I'm not putting myself out there.

At this point, you'd do it to get practice/ attempt to have a good time. Like you really want to be rusty and desperate when 'the wower' shows up?

or you could:

A

get a hobby.

that makes money.

happy + money = chicks

B

get a hobby.

that involves working out.

happy + good looking = chicks

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What about if you get two hobbies:

one that makes money

one that involves working out

happy + good looking + money = chicks2 ?

I'm sure that equation, if successfully executed would collapse the entire space/time continuum.

Edited by Crablegs
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*waiting for Spats to show up*

Meanwhile... I've ben divorced for ... *counts on fingers*... 9 years now. I was definitely NOT interested in the 'dating scene' or for a relationship. I realized I really needed to do some 'self-work' first or I'd just make the same mistakes. It wasn't until a few years ago that I would even consider the possibility of a relationship with anybody.

FWIW, for the first couple years I felt real sorry for myself, basement level self-esteem, nobody could ever love me, blah blah blah, and all that kind of crap. The next couple years I believed things went the way they did cuz he was an asshole. I've now come to realize we both could be card-carrying members of Assholics Anonymous but neither of us had ever set out to deliberately hurt the other... it was just that the relationship had become very toxic... for both of us.

My point (and yes there actually is one to all that blather)... things take time, don't rush stuff, and don't worry that things are taking awhile. Get comfortable and happy (or at least reasonably content) with yourself, and the rest will follow in due time.

Or... that money + looks = chicks thing...

Good luck. B)

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I mean, my life sucks. Sure I've got friends. Too many sometimes if you ask me. I'm a loner. But I work a shit job. I'm divorced (I divorced her by the way). But I just don't seem to be happy. Right now I think dating would really be complicating my life. Not to mention the only cool chicks I seem to meet are 10 to 15 years younger than me.

Maybe I'll just start drinking more.

If you're unhappy, getting into a relationship isn't going to make you happier, nor is drinking.

Work in your inner peace and happiness and the rest will come.

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Thanks guys. Sage advice all around. I sort of decided to just throw myself into work. I've even volunteered for extra shifts and I met this guy who owns a small business downtown and he wants me to set up his computer network and stay on to do some internet research for him. THAT is right up my alley. I meet with him tomorrow to work out the details. He's actually the one that told me about the Led Zep concert that led me here. Funny how things work out.

Anyway, I think I'm almost done with the self loathing part. My self esteem still needs some work, but I'm getting there. And my friends have noticed I'm starting to lose some weight. I'm not real big or anything, just a bit out of shape and this medication my doctor put me on 3 years ago made me pack on about 40 extra pounds.

In short (and today is a good day for me) I think I'm getting there. I'm not ready for a relationship, but I am getting more comfortable with myself after the divorce. I used to think it would be easy once the divorce was final. I was wrong.

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I mean, my life sucks. Sure I've got friends. Too many sometimes if you ask me. I'm a loner. But I work a shit job. I'm divorced (I divorced her by the way). But I just don't seem to be happy. Right now I think dating would really be complicating my life. Not to mention the only cool chicks I seem to meet are 10 to 15 years younger than me.

Maybe I'll just start drinking more.

At least you ARE divorced. I am in the middle of it now, and IT SUCKS! I am realistic, though, I don't expect it to get any better anytime soon. Especially, as I am forking out 2 grand a month for many years to come.

I really think that you should concentrate on getting a more enjoyable job. Immersing yourself in a job you don't like doesn't solve anything. We all spend the majority of our time at work, and if work sucks it has a tendency to carry over into the personal side.

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I mean, my life sucks. Sure I've got friends. Too many sometimes if you ask me. I'm a loner. But I work a shit job. I'm divorced (I divorced her by the way). But I just don't seem to be happy. Right now I think dating would really be complicating my life. Not to mention the only cool chicks I seem to meet are 10 to 15 years younger than me.

Maybe I'll just start drinking more.

Drinking is not the answer, look for a different job, something you enjoy doing, you may have a hidden talent you did not know about, anything is possible, I completely changed my life when I go divorced, you have to. Good Luck.

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I mean, my life sucks. Sure I've got friends. Too many sometimes if you ask me. I'm a loner. But I work a shit job. I'm divorced (I divorced her by the way). But I just don't seem to be happy. Right now I think dating would really be complicating my life. Not to mention the only cool chicks I seem to meet are 10 to 15 years younger than me.

Maybe I'll just start drinking more.

I feel for you. There aren't that many cool , pretty women out there these days to choose from. The dating scene is pretty brutal. It can discourage a guy pretty easily. I know from experience. No one likes being alone and not getting any sacktime. I go out there hoping to meet a pretty, cool girl and i am usually disappointed.

The best thing to do is put yourself out there and let them approach you. The last thing you need right now is to get rejected. That will make you feel even worse. The coolest girls do the approaching. You don't want a girl with a romance novel mindest. The best ones are the ones that go after what they want. Modern women. Not women who think they are princess's and should wait until their prince charming arrives.

Good luck.

Edited by spats
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I do know this really cool chick that is about my age. She's REALLY smart and moderately attractive. Not hot, but attractive. That's my way of saying, "I'd do her". We have a really good time talking and I enjoy seeing her. Too bad she's my psychiatrist.

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