End of a marriage and Zeppelin

[MightyLedZeppelin]

So I've been with the love of my life for 18 years. Married for 15 with 2 awesome boys of 10 and 7.  The past 3 months I've been dealing with the fact that my wife isn't in love with me anymore and we are heading for a divorce.  We have the 2 boys and share a home where I now sleep in a separate room. The divorce probably won't happen till some time next year as we deal with some financial issues my wife is dealing with (she's awful with money and we have separate accounts) so she can't afford to handle things on her own.  We are both excellent parents and we both don't want to take the kids from each other. My beautiful wife has been diagnosed with PTST from her childhood and that has played a huge roll in where we are right now.   I've been a Zep Head since 8th grade (1984).  Discovered all the boots on-line about 6 years ago and its enhanced my love for Zep 100%.  I don't go a day without listening to Zep and I have over 200 boots on my IPOD and computer.  My wife and kids love them as well...never as much as me but they get into it.  For example I've played Stairway from 5/3/71 Copenhagen for my wife and 10 year old and they were amaed at how angelic and powerful Roberts's voice is in that version. They get the fury and excitement of the first few minutes of 6/21/77.  My 10 year old loves the solo 0f Thank You from 8/31/71 and the transition from Black Mountainside to Kashmir also from 6/21/77.    My 7 year old loves the 2003 DVD and Celebration Day DVD and wants a new Zep tee shirt for Christmas.  

We've been going to Martha's Vineyard every summer for the past 6 years and even had Peter Simon (he took the famous "I'm A Golden God" photo from March 1975) take photos of the 4 of us on the vineyard that made the paper and a Vineyard Photobook. 

I'm in pain.  I love my wife. I love my family of 4.  The past few months I've put together a playlist I listen to on my hour long commute into work.  Since I've Been Loving You 3/21/70 Vancouver.  Plants delivery is spot on. Ten Years Gone and In The Light Studio versions.  Stairway 5/3/71. Thank You 6/25/72 and 7/29/73.  

Anyone out there deal with a divorce they never wanted to happen?  My boys, some family and Zeppelin (and Scotch) are trying to get me through this.   

Sorry if this is a bit of a ramble but ive had a few drinks while typing this listening to 8/31/71 Orlando.

 

 

[redrum]

Sorry to hear. I never married but am now living with a divorcee (she doesn't like Zeppelin) who has 2 grown children. I get along well with her kids (boy & girl). Her ex is now suffering from cancer. I hope things work out for you.

[SteveAJones]

Women come and go, but your kids will always be your kids. Perhaps focus on them, not your soon to be ex-wife. 

 

[BledZabbath]

Sorry to hear that MightyLedZep, can you perhaps try and see a marriage counselor, before going through the divorce?

Think of the kids, they suffer most through this.

[MightyLedZeppelin]

We did try therapy together but unfortunately she felt that she wasn't willing to work on the marriage.  She never gave me any indication that things were very difficult for her.  She's always been one to bottle things up.  She can be extremely irrational.

 I've been through the ringer of emotions the past few months,  intense anger, sadness and lonlieness.   She too is having a hard time cause she knows how badly I'm hurt and that hurts her too.   Tells me she doesn't want to feel the way she does but she can't help it.  

We went through the motions and were able to give our boys a nice Thanksgiving.  I got through it ok.  I did leave for about 4 hours to visit some cousins and aunt and uncle.  At night per our Thanksgiving tradition the 4 of us sat and watched Christmas Vacation together.   At times I feel like I'm suffocating when I'm around her....other times I'm ok.  For some strange reason Thanksgiving night I was ok.   

We've told our boys about a month and a half ago about us.  Told them that mom and dad don't love each other (I couldn't tell them that mom doesn't love dad anymore cause I can't have them be upset with just her) anymore in the adult way. We met as strangers and choose each other. That adult love is very different than the love parents have for their kids.  That kind of love never goes away. The 10 year old had a hard time the first couple weeks but is fine now   The 7 year old is completely unfazed.   

 

[BledZabbath]

These things are sad when they happen, I wish I had better advice to give you.

[SteveAJones]

6 hours ago, MightyLedZeppelin said:

At times I feel like I'm suffocating when I'm around her....other times I'm ok.

One (or both) no longer in love and one (or both) feeling suffocated -- you just described about 90% of all marriages. 🤣

[Stryder1978]

Sorry to hear that MightyLedZeppelin.  Believe it or not, time will heal that wound.....many of us have been there! 

[MightyLedZeppelin]

Thanks for the kind words guys.  It's sad and true that so many marriages are in a bad space.  I know that in time I'll be ok.  There is still a small part of me that carries some hope that she'll  come around and gives "us" a chance.  Despite her moods and how controlling and irrational she can get, she can be so thoughtful and sweet and funny.   She's a real hottie and I've grown more attracted to her over the years (shes 41 I'm 49)

One foot in front of the other.  

On a lighter note...I've never really listened to No Quarter from Earl's Court 5/17/75.  Wow...just love the part when Bonzo joins in with John Paul.  I'm amazed how I'm still amazed with this band.

 

[Stryder1978]

..be careful of those "second chances".  Think LOOOONG and hard about it before you respond!

[MightyLedZeppelin]

Agreed.  Much damage has been done.  Trust has been broken.  If she does want to try to reconcile then we need to be in therapy together to repair and work on our communication with each other. 

I know another love can/will come my way when the time is right.  It's just hard to think about that when I still love my wife.  

[ZepHead315]

So sorry to hear that man. These kind of situations are never easy for anyone. I wish I could do more to help, but for now, I'll join in the chorus and tell you to hang in there. I hope that whatever the outcome is, it will be the best for everyone involved. I know this is a painful time right now, but it won't always be this bad. Keep your chin up as best you can!

[MightyLedZeppelin]

Thank you ZepHead315 and the rest of you for the encouragement and kind words.  Day by Day.....

[slave to zep]

Divorce or separation is never easy, even when it's wanted. Just be sure to keep the kids number 1 and it will work out.

I met the love of my life 10 years ago and we're so very happy.

Good luck ☺