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Evster2012

The Monty Python Thread

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I've seen "What the Python's Did Next" before, it's very interesting.

Just seen the secret Life which was about the making of Life of Brian which was interesting, They did it in Tunisia in a place called Monistair which I actually went to last year !!

I have seen a bit of theWhat they did next upto Cleese and Idle !! good stuff !!

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Ex-Leper: Okay, sir, my final offer: half a shekel for an old ex-leper?

Brian: Did you say "ex-leper"?

Ex-Leper: That's right, sir, 16 years behind a veil and proud of it, sir.

Brian: Well, what happened?

Ex-Leper: Oh, cured, sir.

Brian: Cured?

Ex-Leper: Yes sir, bloody miracle, sir. Bless you!

Brian: Who cured you?

Ex-Leper: Jesus did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business, all of a sudden, up he comes, cures me! One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by-your-leave! "You're cured, mate." Bloody do-gooder.

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I went to the store this morning to get some beer for tonight, and saw a bottle of "Monty Python's Holy Grail", and the label says "tempered over burning witches"! I had to buy it.

I've had a bottle of that for two years and never had the heart to open it! :D

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Dead Parrot sketch owns all.

Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour

ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?

Owner: The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!

Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the

first place was that it had been NAILED there.

(pause)

Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and

VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!

Owner: No no! 'E's pining!

Mr. Praline: It's not pinin'! It's passed on! This parrot is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! This is a late parrot! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it

rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch it'd be pushing up the daisies! It's run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

Edited by Electrophile

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I've had a bottle of that for two years and never had the heart to open it! :D

I drank it last night! Pretty good ale, very "hoppy" (bitter), but good.

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Dead Parrot sketch owns all.

Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour

ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?

Owner: The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!

Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the

first place was that it had been NAILED there.

(pause)

Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and

VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!

Owner: No no! 'E's pining!

Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e

rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the

bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

Definitely one of their best! :lol:

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Sergeant: Squad! Eyes front! Stand at ease. Cat confusers ...shun!

(From a following car a general alights.)

General: Well men, we've got a pretty difficult cat to confuse today so let's get straight on with it. Jolly good. Thank you sergeant.

Sergeant: Confusers attend to the van and fetch out... wait for it... fetch out the funny things. Move, move, move! One, two, one, two, get those funny things off.

Mr A: What can we ever do to repay you?

General: No need to, sir. It's all in a day's work for Confuse-a-Cat.

CONFUSE-A-CAT LIMITED

INCORPORATING

AMAZE-A-VOLE LTD

STUN-A-STOAT LTD

PUZZLE-A-PUMA LTD

STARTLE-A-THOMPSON'S GAZELLE LTD

BEWILDEREBEEST INC

DISTRACT-A-BEE

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