spats Posted January 16, 2008 Author Share Posted January 16, 2008 My god you have a lot to learn. THAT is why you'll be alone forever. I wouldn't give them a hard time if they didn't want to do something. I expect the same in return. It's only fair. Weddings are not life and death. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katuschka Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 Cool girls will be interested in me because we are going have things in common. They like and dislike the same things i like and dislike. Like what? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattmc1973 Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 I wouldn't give them a hard time if they didn't want to do something. I expect the same in return. It's only fair. Weddings are not life and death. I can't believe I keep wasting my figurative breath, but here I go... Relationships are about compromise. You seem to want someone who's "hot", and lets you do whatever you want, and wants nothing out of you. Get yourself a sex doll. You might not like going to weddings. But sometimes you do things for the other person that you know will make them happy. And that appreciation comes back to you. The next time you want to go somewhere, and don't want to go alone, she'll go with you because you did the same for her, even if it's not what she wants to do. If every time there's a wedding, she goes alone, and someone asks her "where is your boyfriend?" "Oh, he doesn't like weddings, so he wouldn't come with me", the typical response is gonna be "your boyfriend is a jackass, I can't believe he made you come alone, dump that loser". Every time my wife wants to go to the mall, or go over to her mom's house, do I really want to go? Not always, no. But I go because it's a nice thing to do. And next time I want to go somewhere or want a favor from her, the response won't be "why? you never do anything or go anywhere with me". Again, it's about compromise and cultivating a good relationship. If neither of us ever did anything we don't want to do, and never expected anything out of the other person as far as any accomodations or compromises, we'd spend a LOT of time alone. So then why be together? There aren't many girls, in fact there are NO girls, who are never going to expect you do anything you don't want to do, and are going to be cool with doing everything alone because you don't want to compromise. THAT is why you will be alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
59LesPaul Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 I can't believe I keep wasting my figurative breath, but here I go... Relationships are about compromise. You seem to want someone who's "hot", and lets you do whatever you want, and wants nothing out of you. Get yourself a sex doll. Truer words were never spoken.A good relationship is based on trust;and built on love,trust and compromise.The really good ones have a balance of the two.It's not always 50/50;but it's always there.The "my way or the highway" bullshit doesn't work;and anyone who says it does is fucking lying. "Get yourself a sex doll" *Edited to add:Before anyone says something along the lines of "If you think it's such bullshit,why are you responding?" the reason is this:I'm trying to speed up my typing skills,so this is merely practice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted January 16, 2008 Author Share Posted January 16, 2008 I can't believe I keep wasting my figurative breath, but here I go... Relationships are about compromise. You seem to want someone who's "hot", and lets you do whatever you want, and wants nothing out of you. Get yourself a sex doll. You might not like going to weddings. But sometimes you do things for the other person that you know will make them happy. And that appreciation comes back to you. The next time you want to go somewhere, and don't want to go alone, she'll go with you because you did the same for her, even if it's not what she wants to do. If every time there's a wedding, she goes alone, and someone asks her "where is your boyfriend?" "Oh, he doesn't like weddings, so he wouldn't come with me", the typical response is gonna be "your boyfriend is a jackass, I can't believe he made you come alone, dump that loser". Every time my wife wants to go to the mall, or go over to her mom's house, do I really want to go? Not always, no. But I go because it's a nice thing to do. And next time I want to go somewhere or want a favor from her, the response won't be "why? you never do anything or go anywhere with me". Again, it's about compromise and cultivating a good relationship. If neither of us ever did anything we don't want to do, and never expected anything out of the other person as far as any accomodations or compromises, we'd spend a LOT of time alone. So then why be together? There aren't many girls, in fact there are NO girls, who are never going to expect you do anything you don't want to do, and are going to be cool with doing everything alone because you don't want to compromise. THAT is why you will be alone. But i am fine going to things on my own or without the girlfriend. If she didn't want to go that would be fine. It would not be much fun having someone with you who didn't want to be there. I have gone to quite a few baseball games. Some of my girlfriends have not liked baseball. That's fine. They weren't interested in going and i didn't put up a stink about it. It would be no fun being at a game if she was stitting there bored and wanting to go home. It would just ruin my fun as well. Do you understand what i am saying? There are movies i have liked that girlfriends have not liked. Certain action movies, Tarantino movies, etc. I wanted to see them, they didn't. That's fine. I didn't try and talk them into going. I wasn't pissed. I went either by myself or with buddies. Do you understand what i mean? If for whatever reason I went to a wedding. It would not bother me if i had to go alone. I would not need someone there with me. Why is it considered so bad to go to a wedding alone??? Now if i can be that understanding and easy going then why is it unreasonable to expect someone i am dating to be like that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manderlyh Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 You don't have to go though. Just tell them you don't like going to weddings. I have done it quite a few times with some buddies weddings. They would prefer i go but they understand that i don't like that stuff and don't push it. Why would you want your boyfriend to go with you? I hate going to weddings. Most people I know hate going to weddings...but if I werew to go to a wedding, I'd ask my boyfriend to go with me...even if I knew he didn't want to go. I DON'T WANT TO GO, but the people getting married invited me for a reason...therefore, my boyfriend better go with me... (that's one of the FEW things I insist upon). Most of the time, when people invite me to their weddings, they are very good friends, not just someone who wants a bunch of people there. When you get married, you PAY a lot of money to have people attend--sometimes upwards of a few hundred dollars per head. The people I know have small weddings and usually, they pay for them themselves. My friends invite me because it would mean a lot to them if I was there to see them get married. I'm a female, and while this isn't always true, weddings mean more to the bride usually than the groom in this sense, (we're talking about friends that do and do not attend). If my best friends were to do a no-show to my wedding, I'd be heartbroken. It would mean that my friends do not approve of my choice for life-long mate. My boyfriend is an important part of my life, and in turn, he is an important part of my family's and my friends' lives, too...so I'm sure that me coming to a wedding without him would not be such a good idea. Once again, the guests you invite to your wedding are usually only your very best friends and closest family, (at least in the manner of weddings I've attended and have helped plan). I do not have friends who have huge fairy-tale weddings that have upwards of 200 people attending because I was raised middle class with friends who are expected to pay for things themselves. Paying more for a wedding than you would a brand-new car is just a waste of money in my opnion. What matters to me is the poeple who attend the event...people who are there to show you how much they support this important event in your life. If I could afford a huge-ass wedding, I'd much rather go cheap and spend all my money on a honeymoon if I had that much extra money to blow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted January 16, 2008 Author Share Posted January 16, 2008 Most of the time, when people invite me to their weddings, they are very good friends, not just someone who wants a bunch of people there. When you get married, you PAY a lot of money to have people attend--sometimes upwards of a few hundred dollars per head. The people I know have small weddings and usually, they pay for them themselves. My friends invite me because it would mean a lot to them if I was there to see them get married. I'm a female, and while this isn't always true, weddings mean more to the bride usually than the groom in this sense, (we're talking about friends that do and do not attend). If my best friends were to do a no-show to my wedding, I'd be heartbroken. It would mean that my friends do not approve of my choice for life-long mate. My boyfriend is an important part of my life, and in turn, he is an important part of my family's and my friends' lives, too...so I'm sure that me coming to a wedding without him would not be such a good idea. Once again, the guests you invite to your wedding are usually only your very best friends and closest family, (at least in the manner of weddings I've attended and have helped plan). I do not have friends who have huge fairy-tale weddings that have upwards of 200 people attending because I was raised middle class with friends who are expected to pay for things themselves. Paying more for a wedding than you would a brand-new car is just a waste of money in my opnion. What matters to me is the poeple who attend the event...people who are there to show you how much they support this important event in your life. If I could afford a huge-ass wedding, I'd much rather go cheap and spend all my money on a honeymoon if I had that much extra money to blow. Well i definately don't approve of who my buddies picked for a wife. But i don't think they were heartbroken that i didn't come. I don't think it really bothers guys that much. They wished i came if for nothing else then the reception aftewards. Because they are always trying to hook me up and single women do attend the receptions afterwards. But they respect my choice not to go. I remember one time me telling them that i wasn't going to be attending and my girlfriend at the time was more upset than my buddy.lol I just don't understand why it's such a problem for a woman to go on her own. I would have no problem going on my own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manderlyh Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 If you've been together for a long period of time, you should consider your significant other part of your family--even if you're not married. Therefore, if you're attending an even that is important to you because it means a lot fo a friend or a family member, your significant other should also come along. My boyfriend hit the graduation party circuit with me this winter when all of my friends graduated...even though I know he wished I hadn't asked him. But in turn, I've also attended parties with him that I don't exactly want to attend. If all else fails, it's nice to bring someone along to a party that you may not want to attend--for the company. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattmc1973 Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manderlyh Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 Matt! Don't do it! It will cost too much to replace/fix! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted January 17, 2008 Author Share Posted January 17, 2008 Come on dude, you don't understand what i am saying? If i can be like that women can too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Electrophile Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 Stifle already. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattmc1973 Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 To each their own. We had a big wedding on New Year's Eve, and it was a great party and it was beautiful. We wouldn't have done it any other way, it was awesome. But I get why some people don't want to do that. We didn't go into debt, we paid cash for everything throughout the year leading up to it, so we didn't have any lasting debt. So the money we got at the wedding paid for our honeymooon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimmyPage1977 Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 Spats, As long as all that you think of is yourself, you will only be able to have shallow, meaningless relationships. Please don't even try to argue this point with me, just think about it. You have to be able to give a part of yourself to have a relationship. I've been reading your posts for a while and I know that you have absolutely no concept of what it takes to love someone else. Like others before me, I don't know why I wasted the time to type this, because someone as self absorbed and immature as you are could never understand what I'm writing about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattmc1973 Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 Come on dude, you don't understand what i am saying? If i can be like that women can too. BUT WOMEN AREN'T LIKE THAT. That's what you continue to not understand. Ever hear the whole "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" thing? Men and women are different, and being able to coexist and compromise with those difference is what it's all about. Always saying "why can't they just be like me?" is like saying "why can't my dog drive a car?" He just can't. That's why I've always said, and will continue to explicably waste my time saying, you have a lot to learn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manderlyh Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 ^ Thanks Matt! I'm going to print that post and post it on the fridge! Anytime I get irritated with my wonderful boyfriend, I'll read that before I decide to bring something up or not...and anytime he gets irritated with me, I'll ask him to read that before he decided whether it's worth worrying about! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted January 17, 2008 Author Share Posted January 17, 2008 Spats, As long as all that you think of is yourself, you will only be able to have shallow, meaningless relationships. Please don't even try to argue this point with me, just think about it. You have to be able to give a part of yourself to have a relationship. I've been reading your posts for a while and I know that you have absolutely no concept of what it takes to love someone else. Like others before me, I don't know why I wasted the time to type this, because someone as self absorbed and immature as you are could never understand what I'm writing about. But doesn't the fact that i wouldn't try and talk them into doing something or going someplace they don't want to show i am thinking about them and not me? If she is wanting me to do something i don't want to do or don't feel comfortable doing then she is only thinking about herself. It goes both ways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted January 17, 2008 Author Share Posted January 17, 2008 BUT WOMEN AREN'T LIKE THAT. That's what you continue to not understand. Ever hear the whole "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" thing? Men and women are different, and being able to coexist and compromise with those difference is what it's all about. Always saying "why can't they just be like me?" is like saying "why can't my dog drive a car?" He just can't. That's why I've always said, and will continue to explicably waste my time saying, you have a lot to learn. Well if a woman is going to get upset because she is going to a wedding on her own then she has issues of some sort. Whether it's insecurity or whatever. This stuff is not life and death. I would have no problem going to a wedding by myself if i chose to go to one. As i said if i wanted to go somewhere and she didn't i would respect that and not have a problem. I can compromise as along as i am not compromising my principles doing it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Electrophile Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 This thread is a train ride to hell. And dorko is the conductor. I agree with everything everyone else in this thread has stated, because they clearly have brains and common sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattmc1973 Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 Well if a woman is going to get upset because she is going to a wedding on her own then she has issues of some sort. Whether it's insecurity or whatever. This stuff is not life and death. I would have no problem going to a wedding by myself if i chose to go to one. As i said if i wanted to go somewhere and she didn't i would respect that and not have a problem. I can compromise as along as i am not compromising my principles doing it. Good luck with all that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted January 17, 2008 Author Share Posted January 17, 2008 Good luck with all that. If you are compromsing your principals in a relationhip then it's not a healthy relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattmc1973 Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 When you stick to principles that are unrealistic, self-centered, and totally out of whack with reality, that's when you wind up alone. Like I said, good luck with all that. PS - What the f*ck do YOU know about healthy relationships. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted January 17, 2008 Author Share Posted January 17, 2008 When you stick to principles that are unrealistic, self-centered, and totally out of whack with reality, that's when you wind up alone. Like I said, good luck with all that. PS - What the f*ck do YOU know about healthy relationships. I don't know exactly which ones you are referring to but i don't see how they are unrealistic or self centered. Yes, women and men are different in some ways. But if a woman gets upset about small things like going to a wedding on their own it goes beyond just being different. it's such a small thing. I just wouldn''t ask anyone to do something they didn't want to do. I think that's a good quality in a human being. That's one of my principles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IGG Posted January 18, 2008 Share Posted January 18, 2008 If you are compromsing your principals in a relationhip then it's not a healthy relationship. Have a relationship with somebody other than your hand for more than 3 months, THEN come back and tell us how a relationship works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake of Shadows Posted January 18, 2008 Share Posted January 18, 2008 If you are compromsing your principals in a relationhip then it's not a healthy relationship. Yeah, compromising your teachers would be bad enough... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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