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spats

Happy New Year.

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Don't try so hard. No offence, but women don;t want needy guy's. And it sounds like that's what's going on. Try just being yourself and let things happen on they're own. I'm not saying that you are needy...it just seems that your coming across that way :)

Not needy as much as whiny, self-obsessed and completely lacking the tiniest trace of a sense of humour...all that garnished with a propensity to hide behind stupid excuses....Now if this ain't every woman's prince charming.

Women want guys who are self-assured (without being cocky) and attentive and who can laugh about themselves. That's something he might want to work on....very, very hard....

Although I still think that my above master plan is more feasible. :rolleyes:

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But i am not scared. I just don't want to experience that again. if i got rejected then i am likely to get rejected now. it's just common sense to want to avoid that. If i let them approach there is no chance of rejection.

Pretty sure you just described the pure definition of "scared".

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Don't try so hard. No offence, but women don;t want needy guy's. And it sounds like that's what's going on. Try just being yourself and let things happen on they're own. I'm not saying that you are needy...it just seems that your coming across that way :)

I think i am the exact opposite of needy. Literally. Ask anyone I know. I am as independent as they come.

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Not needy as much as whiny, self-obsessed and completely lacking the tiniest trace of a sense of humour...all that garnished with a propensity to hide behind stupid excuses....Now if this ain't every woman's prince charming.

Women want guys who are self-assured (without being cocky) and attentive and who can laugh about themselves. That's something he might want to work on....very, very hard....

Although I still think that my above master plan is more feasible. :rolleyes:

I am not trying to be a prince charming. I wouldn't want a woman who was looking for that.

Laugh about what? What is there for me to laugh about.

I am self assured. I am sure i will get rejected if i start approaching again. There is no reason to believe that things will be different than my teen years. If there was then a i might try it but there isn't. I know what my weaknesss and my strengths are. I know what works for me and what does not. You go with what is known to work for you. The opposite will lead to failure.

If you have got rejected many times then you are not going to be confident that things will work if you keep trying that. It would be like making the same mistake over and over again anf not learning. The rejections build up and the number of women that are not interested in you builds up. Let's say you approach 10 women. And only one shows interest. THat's really pathetic.

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Pretty sure you just described the pure definition of "scared".

It isn't. It's just not wanting to do something that does not work for you. What if i went out this weekend and approached a couple women and got turned down by all of them? Then where will i be. I'll be having a lousy weekend.

Edited by spats

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It isn't. It's just not wanting to do something that does not work for you. What if i went out this weekend and approached a couple women and got turned down with all fo them? Then where will i be. I'll be having a lousy weekend.

Go to a museum. Walk around a bookstore. Take a walk around town, maybe to a city park. Go see a movie. Tackle a project around the house, like cleaning or painting or fixing something that is broken.

All are ways to make the weekend NOT lousy. Stop defining your life and what makes things good and bad by such narrow constructs. Who gives a rat's ass if those two women want nothing to do with you? Get over yourself, you're not that special.

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I wouldn't want people to pick my looks apart. I would say i am between a 5 and a 6. My girlfriends thought i was good looking but i am never gonna be mistaken for Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt. I have never had a female gush over my looks. I wish.

You should post your pic. C'mon, we all posted our pics.....

I just wanna know, what makes you SO SURE you'll be rejected?? I mean, are you missing a bunch of teeth? Do you have chronic hallitosis? A hunchback? Dumbo ears? Extra fingers and toes? A conjoined twin? Do you weigh 800 lbs? Do you only bathe once a month? Do you wear high water pants, glasses with tape in the middle, and pocket protectors? Do you run around in a bear costume 365 days a year? What could possibly be THAT terrible to where you're SURE to be rejected?

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Go to a museum. Walk around a bookstore. Take a walk around town, maybe to a city park. Go see a movie. Tackle a project around the house, like cleaning or painting or fixing something that is broken.

All are ways to make the weekend NOT lousy. Stop defining your life and what makes things good and bad by such narrow constructs. Who gives a rat's ass if those two women want nothing to do with you? Get over yourself, you're not that special.

I realize i am not that special. That would be one of the reasons for the rejection. Who give's a rat's ass? well if you are approaching them in the first place you care if they are interested in you or not. So you can't think "who give's a rat's ass?"

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You should post your pic. C'mon, we all posted our pics.....

I just wanna know, what makes you SO SURE you'll be rejected?? I mean, are you missing a bunch of teeth? Do you have chronic hallitosis? A hunchback? Dumbo ears? Extra fingers and toes? A conjoined twin? Do you weigh 800 lbs? Do you only bathe once a month? Do you wear high water pants, glasses with tape in the middle, and pocket protectors? Do you run around in a bear costume 365 days a year? What could possibly be THAT terrible to where you're SURE to be rejected?

lol.

I am so sure from experience. I haven't been successful approaching. 95% of my success with women has been from sitting back and waiting for them to come to me.

Let me put it this way. I am not what I consider good looking. I don't fit the category of what i personally think is good looking. And when you do the approaching those women are going by what they see. And if they are rejecting. Some of the time it will be for that reason.

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I can't blame you for bailing on blind dates. I've had a few that were from hell. Let me tell you about B.O. boy who told his friends that he deserved hotter. Dude! This guy didn't freaking take a shower for a week before he showed up at my door! I couldn't just pretend that I wasn't me! LOL

But--don't go on blind dates. Get your friends to arrange hanging out with people of both sexes, and you can get to know more than one woman and decide if you like one before you go on a date with her. Then there's zero pressure.

I agree it's better doing it that way then a blind date. That's what happened on New years. it works better that way. But again for the most part my friends taste in who they introduce me to is questionable.

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It isn't. It's just not wanting to do something that does not work for you. What if i went out this weekend and approached a couple women and got turned down by all of them? Then where will i be. I'll be having a lousy weekend.

Again, you're describing fear. "I'm scared about approaching, I'm scared about being rejected, I'm scared it'll ruin my weekend". It's not hard to understand, I'm not sure why you don't.

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Again, you're describing fear. "I'm scared about approaching, I'm scared about being rejected, I'm scared it'll ruin my weekend". It's not hard to understand, I'm not sure why you don't.

Too scared to :)

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I am not trying to be a prince charming. I wouldn't want a woman who was looking for that.

Laugh about what? What is there for me to laugh about.

I am self assured. I am sure i will get rejected if i start approaching again. There is no reason to believe that things will be different than my teen years. If there was then a i might try it but there isn't. I know what my weaknesss and my strengths are. I know what works for me and what does not. You go with what is known to work for you. The opposite will lead to failure.

If you have got rejected many times then you are not going to be confident that things will work if you keep trying that. It would be like making the same mistake over and over again anf not learning. The rejections build up and the number of women that are not interested in you builds up. Let's say you approach 10 women. And only one shows interest. THat's really pathetic.

You know what's pathetic? To miss out on the right one because you're too friggin scared to give it a try.

Chicken.

Natch. B)

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It's not fear or self love. Why do you think self love? i don't think i am hotstuff.

Because you care just about yourself, your feelings, your embarrasment, your fun etc. etc. Considering the fact that you care primarily about looks when it comes to either yourself, or others, I am not surprised that you can't understand that even this can be comprehended as self-love.

And as for fear....spats, don't be ridiculous. :lol: What is it then? Apprehension, dread, fright?

Yes but if they don't know me and i don't know them and she rejects me , she's rejecting me based on my looks. In other words she thinks i am ugly. That's the worse rejection you can get.

No, that's not, unless you're a peacock and not homo sapiens sapiens.

And believe me, if you approach her in a bar just because she looks good, you tell her considerably enough information about yourself; in other words...what Mandy said a page or two back.

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^ Oh Kat, you're just wasting your time. I haven't been able to pull myself away completely from this thread either, but I'm limiting my responses to 1-2 sentences. Detoxing from Spats is tough!

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^ Oh Kat, you're just wasting your time. I haven't been able to pull myself away completely from this thread either, but I'm limiting my responses to 1-2 sentences. Detoxing from Spats is tough!

I think we need a Spatsoholics Anonymous thread. :D

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It would just turn into relationship bantering back and forth.

I think this IS the spatsaholics thread.

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Yeah. I think I'm making up for lost time flaming poor little spats! :lol:

(remember? I was the one that kept saying, "Ignore him and he'll go away..." now I'm his biggest reactor!)

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...and he probably gets ,ahem, "extremely excited" when he thinks about all the responses he's getting.....

..............you're welcome. B)

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...and he probably gets ,ahem, "extremely excited" when he thinks about all the responses he's getting.....

..............you're welcome. B)

Nah. I'm probably annoying and "not that hot."

and all I talk about is English and kids and houses and stuff.

:lol:

Edited by manderlyh

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Nah. I'm probably annoying and "not that hot."

and all I talk about is English and kids and houses and stuff.

:lol:

Depends on who you ask...... :whistling:

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