MOJO Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you? Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America? Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call? Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!" Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! What do you call male ballerinas? Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream? If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irg82 Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? Haha, I like that first one. And for the second: Spinal Tap!! :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jarlaxle 56 Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? This one in particular baffles me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Klu Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 Can you cry under water? yeah, and its even easier when you're wearing goggles. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? assassinations generally have political implications, even in student councils. If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? its a capitalist ploy Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? cause animal parts are round and you arent gonna waste meat by reshaping it Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? action/reaction impetus costs more than wistful musings Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? no. you generally get stuck with how you in your own mind look like. Why does a round pizza come in a square box? room for the inedible dipping sauce. What disease did cured ham actually have? being attached to something alive? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Because airtravel had only recently surpassed sea travel earlier in the decade. Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? Because you'd like to think you're cute when asleep when really you look like shit. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Yeah, but its a good thing they didnt hear that. If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you? Nope. They commend you for spying on the enemy. Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? You walk in and out of a theatre, but you turn on and off the tv. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Cleavage shots. How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America? Because rich white guys are a dimeadozen where as hot chicks come in all flavors. Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. You'd ask for 20$ after the striptease. If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call? The person in the next cubicle. Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? The entrance to the temple should seem more well guarded than it is. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup? Yeah, they get the runs. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!" Whoever saw the calf drinking milk from it. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Because some people have the timing down and some people dont. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? Because your refrigerator is the budget model. When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling? When you're 40and get carded for beer, yer one happy camper? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? And that fucking tree in the forest too.... Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? Nope. The law is pretty specific there. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? The glue didnt work. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? They dont point like idiots, they bunnyhop like idiots. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! SAG union rules. What do you call male ballerinas? tom cruise Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream? Yes. If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? Only ACME accepts credit. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? baby whales. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? no. It comes from Angels 1B, DH Kendry Morales. Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? No, theres also The View. Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Zeppelins lawyers are on the case. Why did you just try singing the two songs above? If both of those sound like the Clash's White Man i Hammersmith Palais...guilty as charged. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? both are kinda star shaped? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Bad breath is universal, even to dogs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FuzzyMerkin Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 What do you call male ballerinas? tom cruise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOJO Posted January 8, 2008 Author Share Posted January 8, 2008 Big Klu Why is the sky blue? What's the ultimate rejection? When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kissandra Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 I'm itching to answer a lot of those. Most of the rest are ridiculously stupid. For example, the tree/bank/branch one . For anyone thinking I'm taking it too seriously--some people really think that way... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOJO Posted January 8, 2008 Author Share Posted January 8, 2008 I'm itching to answer a lot of those. Most of the rest are ridiculously stupid. For example, the tree/bank/branch one . For anyone thinking I'm taking it too seriously--some people really think that way... they are quoted for other people on diff. site not all are mine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Klu Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 Big Klu Why is the sky blue? The democrats won that one over the republicans. What's the ultimate rejection? When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep. that, or when a mother gives birth. [keanu]....whooooa.........[/keanu] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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