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Pet Peeves


Hotplant

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People who walk side by side in the aisle blocking any and all progress. Especially when they decide it's a nice place to stop and chat. Do you not see me with my shopping cart just standing here burning holes in you with my stare? Pull it over the side for the love of god!!!

A-frigging-men!! Or people that force you to step off the sidewalk because they won't walk single-file. That used to happen to me every day at school until I started playing chicken with them, grr. It works, too - I'm taller than a lot of the guys (I'm only 5'8", but these particular people tend to be generally shorter), so they don't fuck with me once they realize I'm going to bowl their ass over.

The shopping cart thing is worse, though, because you're just plain stuck. Do people think they're the only person in the universe? Argh!

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A-frigging-men!! Or people that force you to step off the sidewalk because they won't walk single-file. That used to happen to me every day at school until I started playing chicken with them, grr. It works, too - I'm taller than a lot of the guys (I'm only 5'8", but these particular people tend to be generally shorter), so they don't fuck with me once they realize I'm going to bowl their ass over.

The shopping cart thing is worse, though, because you're just plain stuck. Do people think they're the only person in the universe? Argh!

I feel your pain! And I totally share your anger! :lol:

How long must we give? Avoiding shoulder checks in the name of goodwill? Just once I wish I could knock one sideways, right into the Captain Crunch and say, "Oh my, did I do that? So sorry. Should have had some spatial awareness in YOUR FUCKING GENE POOL!!! THERE'S OTHER PEOPLE ON THIS PLANET!!!!! DO YOU KNOW THAT????"

Okay, I'm fine now. Just had a little moment...I can drive. :hysterical:

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Drunk assholes at baseball games. My family and I drove out to Durham to watch some local baseball and the morons behind us were plastered for much of the game. If you're going to get that drunk, stay the fuck home.

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I've cut up a bunch of jalapenos today to make poppers for the BBQ I'm having tomorrow. I can't get the oil from the peppers off my hands!

Ugh!

This may sound wierd but the acidic properties in and around the female genitalia are very good at neutralizing the oil (capsaicin) found in hot peppers.

Just dive right in and move your fingers around until the pain goes away.

~665

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And of course there's the ones who are clearly walking against the flow who rudely expect you to step aside for them! Like the dickfor that came in throught the exit door at WalMart today and almost walked right over me....

Just do like I do Ev: Walk straight ahead without any sign of slowing or moving to the side, and have your eyes fixed on some area behind and beyond the approaching assclown(s), like you don't even acknowledge that they exit.

They will get out of your way for sure, they always do for me. And if they aren't paying attention -- even better! I hit them like a Mack Truck and then say "excuse me" like I wasn't paying attention either. Fucking morons!

When I take my family to Disneyland or some place crowed, they all get behind me in the "I-Formation" just like in football. One time a lady tried to use her child in a stroller as a battering ram heading straight into us; acting like she was Moses or some shit gonna part the Red Sea for the 10 people in her group following behind. But I just headed straight for her like a Roman Galley at full ramming speed never indicating that I gave one shit about her or her entire bowling pin assclown family, and just before the moment of impact she quickly moved to the side, all the while yapping her complaints. "To hell with you lady! If you are going to make the choice to use your kid as a weapon against me, then you just might find out that you might need a bigger kid!"

I'll bet I would have been a good gunfigher in the old west. :lol:

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When the next door neighbor plays music with someone who "sings" with a grating voice.

Just because the music has a rhythm does not mean that they have to drag out an irritating vocal into infinity.

Maybe practicing audition material for the shame sessions of American Idol?

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Just do like I do Ev: Walk straight ahead without any sign of slowing or moving to the side, and have your eyes fixed on some area behind and beyond the approaching assclown(s), like you don't even acknowledge that they exit.

They will get out of your way for sure, they always do for me. And if they aren't paying attention -- even better! I hit them like a Mack Truck and then say "excuse me" like I wasn't paying attention either. Fucking morons!

When I take my family to Disneyland or some place crowed, they all get behind me in the "I-Formation" just like in football. One time a lady tried to use her child in a stroller as a battering ram heading straight into us; acting like she was Moses or some shit gonna part the Red Sea for the 10 people in her group following behind. But I just headed straight for her like a Roman Galley at full ramming speed never indicating that I gave one shit about her or her entire bowling pin assclown family, and just before the moment of impact she quickly moved to the side, all the while yapping her complaints. "To hell with you lady! If you are going to make the choice to use your kid as a weapon against me, then you just might find out that you might need a bigger kid!"

That was a beautiful post.

I am inspired right now. I've suddenly become motivated to go grocery shopping.

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Just do like I do Ev: Walk straight ahead without any sign of slowing or moving to the side, and have your eyes fixed on some area behind and beyond the approaching assclown(s), like you don't even acknowledge that they exit.

They will get out of your way for sure, they always do for me. And if they aren't paying attention -- even better! I hit them like a Mack Truck and then say "excuse me" like I wasn't paying attention either. Fucking morons!

I'll bet I would have been a good gunfigher in the old west. :lol:

Outta my way sucka! :lol:

acart6634238_0fbefe86bb.jpg

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People who walk side by side in the aisle blocking any and all progress. Especially when they decide it's a nice place to stop and chat. Do you not see me with my shopping cart just standing here burning holes in you with my stare? Pull it over the side for the love of god!!!

:yesnod: In my experience, those folks always park their carts exactly next to a display case (the cardboard ones that take up half an aisle) so you can't get around them.

And I don't know if this happens to you all too, but when I pull over for a moment to review my list/coupons/whatever, I stop in front of some really obscure item, trying to not be in the way, and someone always needs to reach around me for whatever it is I'm in front of and I have to move :blink:

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:yesnod: In my experience, those folks always park their carts exactly next to a display case (the cardboard ones that take up half an aisle) so you can't get around them.

And I don't know if this happens to you all too, but when I pull over for a moment to review my list/coupons/whatever, I stop in front of some really obscure item, trying to not be in the way, and someone always needs to reach around me for whatever it is I'm in front of and I have to move :blink:

Who buys Hannukkah candles in July, right? :lol:

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The goob somewhere in my neighborhood shooting off bottle rockets throughout the day. This is the 5th of July! Probably a kid who was giving his Wii a short holiday. This kind of deflates the serenity one finds in their backyard and garden on what is usually a laid back, peaceful day.

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Yeah...so I get home from being in the sun all day today, and I notice the a/c is running hard but not doing much of anything.

THEN I notice that three windows upstairs (the hot part of the house--the rest of the house is in the basement) are still open. 1. I didn't turn on the a/c, and 2. I didn't open the windows.

THEN about an hour ago, I notice that our bedroom window's also open, but my BF just closed the blinds over the window!

D'oh! (He forgot that the windows were open...)

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Who buys Hannukkah candles in July, right? :lol:

Lol! That is so, so true... Speaking of display cases, there's another pet peeve. My grocery store is not that small, but they've got stuff crammed in there like they took the contents of an entire Wal-Mart and put it in a space half the usual size. If nothing else is in the aisleway, you can fit two carts with like an inch between.

That's annoying enough, but THEN the genius store people decide to put big displays of total BS like your July Hannukkah candles in the middle of the aisle. If you want something at the other end of the aisle, you're gonna damn well wait your turn between all the carts and Christmas 2010 decorations blocking up the pathway. Grrr...

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Lol! That is so, so true... Speaking of display cases, there's another pet peeve. My grocery store is not that small, but they've got stuff crammed in there like they took the contents of an entire Wal-Mart and put it in a space half the usual size. If nothing else is in the aisleway, you can fit two carts with like an inch between.

That's annoying enough, but THEN the genius store people decide to put big displays of total BS like your July Hannukkah candles in the middle of the aisle. If you want something at the other end of the aisle, you're gonna damn well wait your turn between all the carts and Christmas 2010 decorations blocking up the pathway. Grrr...

Ah yes! Displays in the middle of the aisle at WalMart! You'd think people could get the driving on the right side correct on that one!

But nooooo!

bestofjohnbelushi1.jpg

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Who buys Hannukkah candles in July, right? :lol:

Exactly! :) And then there was the day I spent 20 minutes looking for Ginger Ale in the local Food Lion. Wasn't with the sodas...it was on the Wine aisle (guess because it was a mixer?) :blink:

Still haven't found wire coat hangers anywhere (for roasting marshmallows) but we gave up and bought those metal Coleman camping skewer thingies instead.

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