Pet Peeves

[ninelives]

It's tricky because people can be very passive aggressive about it, or so deep in denial that they don't really see their part and so minimize it. Nice to see you back, Nine!

Thanks! Good to see you too

That's it - I encounter a lot of people who I'd say are in deep denial about their own behavior and honestly see nothing wrong with what they do. In fact they often tout themselves as so great and wonderful

[eternal light]

I wish I had a better explanation as to why things went on like that until she retired, other than that the powers that be figured she was so close to it, they should just let it play out. She should have been reprimanded (and if she was, it was done quietly). Students even had a petition going to get the department to do something about her. Benign neglect, hmm, there might be something to that. It was a small department, with many profs doing double duty in other departments, so the overseeing was spread thin. But STILL...

You can re-direct the activity of an employee without having to reprimand her. You only need to have workshops and address role-playing situations to develop sensitivity and insight into self and others. They could have re-trained her to do the right thing without embarrassing her or inviting resistance to change. But it seems they skirted the issue and shirked their duty.

[Nathan]

You can re-direct the activity of an employee without having to reprimand her. You only need to have workshops and address role-playing situations to develop sensitivity and insight into self and others. They could have re-trained her to do the right thing without embarrassing her or inviting resistance to change. But it seems they skirted the issue and shirked their duty.

And what makes you think that would work? I actually had the same issue with a similar type of person back in my first semester of GPC. They spent over a year having her go to different training classes, and it never worked. Eventually they just fired her...

[Patrycja]

Thanks! Good to see you too

That's it - I encounter a lot of people who I'd say are in deep denial about their own behavior and honestly see nothing wrong with what they do. In fact they often tout themselves as so great and wonderful

*Cues the music ... "Blinded by the light..." that's us in their presence...LOL

And what makes you think that would work? I actually had the same issue with a similar type of person back in my first semester of GPC. They spent over a year having her go to different training classes, and it never worked. Eventually they just fired her...

Exactly. Some people are too far gone, or simply don't give a rip anymore because they're too close to retirement. She knew exactly how to look after what was hers, too. Once when a prof lodged a complaint, she countered with a charge of racism. Unfuckingbelievable nerve.

[longdistancewinner]

My boyfriend has the biggest weasle of a mate. And he doesn't like me much.

We went to school together and we didn't get along then. Uni made it so that for almost four years we didn't talk much, yet this past year he's been worming his way back. He'll ask my bf when he's free, if he's up for going out, etc - which is fine - then when my bf agrees, he doesn't reply back. He arranges to do stuff with him, and then turns around and says he's already got plans and can't make it.

A few weeks back he told my bf that it was a 'school boy error' that my bf was having dinner with me and another friend. Tonight he sends him a text at some ridiculous hour demanding - because it sure as shit wasn't a question - that they go out to eat 'sushi' tomorrow. He's been bugging him all week to go out for sushi, which I find a bit weird, and then when my bf says it's fine, he can change some plans around, etc; he says, 'I've already got plans, but we can bring her along, too.' My bf wants me to come out, but I know his mate doesn't like me, and, if we're honest, I think he's a slimy turd. This girl is someone we also went to school with, but, christ alive, it's been years since I last saw her. I didn't know her well back then. If I went it'd feel like a double date, which is wrong because she's engaged to someone else. But if I don't go I have to put up with the fact that I'll feel like I'm left out. I don't want to fake pleasantries with someone I don't like, or someone I don't know. I feel like I was only asked because it rounds it off to a nice even four. Usually this person doesn't make it so that there's any opportunity to have me come along. He likes going out with just my bf. Just like he did last night.

I don't care that he goes out. What I do care about this guy's incessant demanding to go out, and my boyfriend's inability to say no. I hardly see him enough as it is, and, as selfish as it sounds, when he goes out with shithead, I see him even less. So, yeah, that's my fucking pet peeve for today.

[BIGDAN]

My boyfriend has the biggest weasle of a mate. And he doesn't like me much.

We went to school together and we didn't get along then. Uni made it so that for almost four years we didn't talk much, yet this past year he's been worming his way back. He'll ask my bf when he's free, if he's up for going out, etc - which is fine - then when my bf agrees, he doesn't reply back. He arranges to do stuff with him, and then turns around and says he's already got plans and can't make it.

A few weeks back he told my bf that it was a 'school boy error' that my bf was having dinner with me and another friend. Tonight he sends him a text at some ridiculous hour demanding - because it sure as shit wasn't a question - that they go out to eat 'sushi' tomorrow. He's been bugging him all week to go out for sushi, which I find a bit weird, and then when my bf says it's fine, he can change some plans around, etc; he says, 'I've already got plans, but we can bring her along, too.' My bf wants me to come out, but I know his mate doesn't like me, and, if we're honest, I think he's a slimy turd. This girl is someone we also went to school with, but, christ alive, it's been years since I last saw her. I didn't know her well back then. If I went it'd feel like a double date, which is wrong because she's engaged to someone else. But if I don't go I have to put up with the fact that I'll feel like I'm left out. I don't want to fake pleasantries with someone I don't like, or someone I don't know. I feel like I was only asked because it rounds it off to a nice even four. Usually this person doesn't make it so that there's any opportunity to have me come along. He likes going out with just my bf. Just like he did last night.

I don't care that he goes out. What I do care about this guy's incessant demanding to go out, and my boyfriend's inability to say no. I hardly see him enough as it is, and, as selfish as it sounds, when he goes out with shithead, I see him even less. So, yeah, that's my fucking pet peeve for today.

Hi LDW,

Thats a no brainer, you have to go out with them, look at it this way, you get to piss off "Shit-Head" give his "Tart" the Third Degree about Cheating on her Man and you get a Free Meal with Drinks, Go get em Girl.

Regards, Danny

PS, Let us know how you get on please?

[longdistancewinner]

Hi LDW,

Thats a no brainer, you have to go out with them, look at it this way, you get to piss off "Shit-Head" give his "Tart" the Third Degree about Cheating on her Man and you get a Free Meal with Drinks, Go get em Girl.

Regards, Danny

PS, Let us know how you get on please?

I'll reconsider it - since I outright refused - but, frankly, the idea of eating anything raw around him goes down like a cup of cold sick.

[ninelives]

Hey LDW Good to see you! I was going to post a where are you somewhere and poof, you're here. I'm sorry you are in a tough spot with your boyfriend and his mate I understand how you feel. Have you talked to your boyfriend about your concerns?

[BIGDAN]

I'll reconsider it - since I outright refused - but, frankly, the idea of eating anything raw around him goes down like a cup of cold sick.

Hi LDW,

You Girls know how to use a rather bad night out to your advantage dont you? you can have so much fun as it will be only you who knows whats going on, be the "Bitch from Hell" you never know your boyfriend might even get a kick out of it when you tell him later that you planned all the Shenanigans, thats "Irish" by the way, i dont have the "Jewish" equivalent, sorry.

Have a great one though, and let us know how you get on please?

Kind Regards, Danny

[longdistancewinner]

Hey LDW Good to see you! I was going to post a where are you somewhere and poof, you're here. I'm sorry you are in a tough spot with your boyfriend and his mate I understand how you feel. Have you talked to your boyfriend about your concerns?

Hey, nine Must admit I've not been on here much as of late. How are you?

Yeah, my boyfriend has known for years how I've felt. It's just, to me, it seems so obvious that when he's in town, my boyfriend is only good for going out. Once he's somewhere else, he doesn't even text my bf, or anything. He uses him.

Maybe it's just me. Because I'm so shy and awkward around people I think I rub people up the wrong way.

[Nathan]

Maybe it's just me. Because I'm so shy and awkward around people I think I rub people up the wrong way.

I know exactly how you feel. I'm much the same way around people...

I would agree with BIGDAN, here. Go. Have fun. Maybe even find a way to make this asshole look stupid. I'm sure you could do it.

I'd say go... and report back here...

[manderlyh]

Feeling crappy because I can't afford to spend money on friends for their big life events.

I'm feeling like a cheapskate for going cheap on my best friend's bridal shower present, for going cheap on her wedding present, and having to go cheap again for her (upcoming) baby shower present.

I'm a bridesmaid--and I've spent over $400 on her wedding prior to gifts, that counts, right? ...and I haven't even gotten my hair done (that's on Wednesday) and my mani/pedi for the wedding (Friday).

I'm pretty much unemployed, so I say it does.

[~tangerine~]

I'll reconsider it - since I outright refused - but, frankly, the idea of eating anything raw around him goes down like a cup of cold sick.

Of course it's important to have your own friends to spend time with. However, if you feel your boyfriend is spending too much time with his friends, you should discuss this and come to a resolution.

I agree you should go out tomorrow. You will be spending time with your boyfriend, and let that be your focus. Have fun with him and don't let the slimy mate bother you. Now on to the menu. I imagine there is also cooked sushi. Here are some ideas: anything tempura (shrimp tempura roll, sweet potato tempura roll), California rolls, any kind of vegetarian roll, and if you like smoked salmon/lox, you should be able to get a roll with that, too. Is this a Japanese place or strictly a sushi bar?

[Mary Hartman]

Packages which are shrink wrapped to where you cannot get into them, oh and the ones which are molded in plastic too.

I HATE THOSE THINGS.

You cannot repackage them to return either.

[timothy5151]

Student loan deferments.

I spent about two hours taking care of something that I THOUGHT was already taken care of.

I had to call and re-fill out paperwork, prove that I'd had email correspondence, etc. with the company that's taken over my Perkins un-subsidized loan. A lady told me more than 45 days ago that my loan was in deferment, but today, I got a "FINAL NOTICE," threatening to report the late fees to my credit!

Aaargh! I took care of if, and they said I'd have to pay my late fees to prevent the loan being reported to my credit as late, but it sucks because I thought this was taken care of! The $10 in late fees is totally worth it if it prevents the company from reporting this to my credit--especially since it was kind of their fault that I wasn't in deferment.

I hope it is taken care of for good now.

:wacko:

I feel your pain. Here in Canada, student loans is just as mush a big pain in the ass. After 8 years of hassle, I almost have them paid off. I kind of wished I was more smart with money and worked while in school, instead of partying in my free time (ok....maybe worked half of my free time and party the other half)

(The Federal ones are pretty easy to defer--it's the Perkins un-sub that's a pain in my ass!)

[longdistancewinner]

I know exactly how you feel. I'm much the same way around people...

I would agree with BIGDAN, here. Go. Have fun. Maybe even find a way to make this asshole look stupid. I'm sure you could do it.

I'd say go... and report back here...

I'm not going tonight. It turns out that his mate doesn't want me going. He wanted to keep the group down to a 'minimum' of three. My bf asked if one more mattered, and apparently, it does.

I'd go if I was a bitch, but frankly, I'm not a nasty person. I don't have it in me to stir the shit and I wouldn't want to go somewhere where two/thirds of a group wouldn't want me, anyway.

But what hurts more isn't that someone doesn't want me going, but that my bf didn't say, 'Well, in that case, neither am I.' I kind of feel even more pushed to the side.

Of course it's important to have your own friends to spend time with. However, if you feel your boyfriend is spending too much time with his friends, you should discuss this and come to a resolution.

I agree you should go out tomorrow. You will be spending time with your boyfriend, and let that be your focus. Have fun with him and don't let the slimy mate bother you. Now on to the menu. I imagine there is also cooked sushi. Here are some ideas: anything tempura (shrimp tempura roll, sweet potato tempura roll), California rolls, any kind of vegetarian roll, and if you like smoked salmon/lox, you should be able to get a roll with that, too. Is this a Japanese place or strictly a sushi bar?

My 'relationship' with this guy has been a bad one ever since I became the girlfriend of his best friend. He never liked me. He was never happy that his best mate had found someone who adores the ground he walks on. Never liked that my boyfriend was happy, too. What made it worse was that he was okay to me before I fell in love with his best friend. Since then he's just been a prick.

The sushi place in town is just a sushi bar. I've never had it, and because of the company, I kind of don't want my first time trying it to be ruined by someone who doesn't like me. I'd much rather go alone with just my bf or some friends.

[Nathan]

I'm not going tonight. It turns out that his mate doesn't want me going. He wanted to keep the group down to a 'minimum' of three. My bf asked if one more mattered, and apparently, it does.

Okay... that's just odd... his friend is deliberately keeping you out of this...

I'd go if I was a bitch, but frankly, I'm not a nasty person. I don't have it in me to stir the shit and I wouldn't want to go somewhere where two/thirds of a group wouldn't want me, anyway.

But there's another girl that's gonna be there, right?

But what hurts more isn't that someone doesn't want me going, but that my bf didn't say, 'Well, in that case, neither am I.' I kind of feel even more pushed to the side.

Where's your boyfriend? He and I need to have a talk... *cracks knuckles*

Sorry, but... WTF does he think he's doing choosing this prick over you? You're his girlfriend... unless he's closet gay and is in love with his friend, in which case... (don't take me seriously... I'm being facetious... )...

My 'relationship' with this guy has been a bad one ever since I became the girlfriend of his best friend. He never liked me. He was never happy that his best mate had found someone who adores the ground he walks on. Never liked that my boyfriend was happy, too. What made it worse was that he was okay to me before I fell in love with his best friend. Since then he's just been a prick.

The sushi place in town is just a sushi bar. I've never had it, and because of the company, I kind of don't want my first time trying it to be ruined by someone who doesn't like me. I'd much rather go alone with just my bf or some friends.

If I were you I'd get in touch with your BF right now and tell him you don't appreciate what's going on. He obviously didn't listen last time this issue happened (if I remember correctly), so you should probably be a bit more aggressive now. That's my advice.

You're being treated wrong, quite frankly, by both of them. Your BF's prick treats you like shit and your BF is being a wimp about it. Talk to him. Now. Get him to cancel if you have to. Just do it. You're not the one being selfish. Keep that in mind no matter what. Talk to him.

[longdistancewinner]

Okay... that's just odd... his friend is deliberately keeping you out of this...

What can I say? He doesn't like me.

But there's another girl that's gonna be there, right?

Yes. She's also engaged to another man. My bf said apparently she wasn't all that keen on me being there, either. I've never said a bad word about her in my life.

Where's your boyfriend? He and I need to have a talk... *cracks knuckles*

Sorry, but... WTF does he think he's doing choosing this prick over you? You're his girlfriend... unless he's closet gay and is in love with his friend, in which case... (don't take me seriously... I'm being facetious... )...

Nathan, you're sweet, but unfortunately, I have to take a back seat when his friend is involved.

Last year he called him on Christmas Eve and asked if he was free to do something. My bf said he was already out, but we'd meet him at our local pub. As soon as he realised that 'we' meant him and I, he never bothered showing up. Even when he said he would. We waited for him for over an hour.

If I were you I'd get in touch with your BF right now and tell him you don't appreciate what's going on. He obviously didn't listen last time this issue happened (if I remember correctly), so you should probably be a bit more aggressive now. That's my advice.

You're being treated wrong, quite frankly, by both of them. Your BF's prick treats you like shit and your BF is being a wimp about it. Talk to him. Now. Get him to cancel if you have to. Just do it. You're not the one being selfish. Keep that in mind no matter what. Talk to him.

I told him how hurt I was by this, how I felt he could've done more, and he just didn't respond. I told him he can do whatever he wants, whenever - I can't rule his life - but I'm not okay with his friend being so... against me, and him not saying a thing.

I've lost friends when they said my bf wasn't included somewhere. I said they could count me out, too. I miss those friend's more than I thought I would, but I know I'd miss him a fucking load more. He's worth it. I guess, I'm not.

The 'friend' dilemma was with another guy - his workmate. For some reason I rub his male friends up the wrong way. My bf's with someone who's universally hated by his friends. No wonder he doesn't demand I come out...

[BIGDAN]

What can I say? He doesn't like me.

Yes. She's also engaged to another man. My bf said apparently she wasn't all that keen on me being there, either. I've never said a bad word about her in my life.

Nathan, you're sweet, but unfortunately, I have to take a back seat when his friend is involved.

Last year he called him on Christmas Eve and asked if he was free to do something. My bf said he was already out, but we'd meet him at our local pub. As soon as he realised that 'we' meant him and I, he never bothered showing up. Even when he said he would. We waited for him for over an hour.

I told him how hurt I was by this, how I felt he could've done more, and he just didn't respond. I told him he can do whatever he wants, whenever - I can't rule his life - but I'm not okay with his friend being so... against me, and him not saying a thing.

I've lost friends when they said my bf wasn't included somewhere. I said they could count me out, too. I miss those friend's more than I thought I would, but I know I'd miss him a fucking load more. He's worth it. I guess, I'm not.

The 'friend' dilemma was with another guy - his workmate. For some reason I rub his male friends up the wrong way. My bf's with someone who's universally hated by his friends. No wonder he doesn't demand I come out...

Hi LDW, I hope you dont mind me saying this, but after going back over these entire posts and putting 2 and 2 together, well when are you gonna wake up and smell the coffee so to speak? I think you are thinking along those lines already, am i right?

If you like but being in Love with someone who thinks more of what his friends think of you, than what he thinks of you, then he is being very Immature, please say you're not thinking in terms of Marrying the Guy? Dont be to hasty though, but in the end i hope that "If you feel that you cant go on, in the light you will find the road"

Kind Regards, Danny

PS, Listen to Nathan, he speaks a lot of sense.

[Virginia]

I'm sorry LDW My husband had a friend like that when we first started dating. Haven't seen him in years; he wasn't even invited to the wedding!

[longdistancewinner]

Hi LDW, I hope you dont mind me saying this, but after going back over these entire posts and putting 2 and 2 together, well when are you gonna wake up and smell the coffee so to speak? I think you are thinking along those lines already, am i right?

If you like but being in Love with someone who thinks more of what his friends think of you, than what he thinks of you, then he is being very Immature, please say you're not thinking in terms of Marrying the Guy? Dont be to hasty though, but in the end i hope that "If you feel that you cant go on, in the light you will find the road"

Kind Regards, Danny

PS, Listen to Nathan, he speaks a lot of sense.

I've been with him for over six years. It's not like we're both new to this. I don't have any intention of ending our relationship, if that's what you're implying. I just want him to realise that I hurt when his friend pulls this shit, and it's worse when he doesn't do anything about it. They were once very close, and I understand that they'll always have that bond - I don't want to take that away from either of them - but I'm a part of his life, too. I've been with him all the way, even when his friend didn't speak to him for almost three years.

Really, I appreciate what you're trying to say, but if I ended anything because of his friend, then, frankly, his friend has got what he wanted to begin with. I'll be fucked if I let that happen.

I'm sorry LDW My husband had a friend like that when we first started dating. Haven't seen him in years; he wasn't even invited to the wedding!

Thanks, Virginia. I know it sounds bitchy, but there's no way in hell he'd ever attend any wedding of mine. Especially as he was the first to say to me that my boyfriend was better being with someone else.

Okay, I don't want to get all Emo on anyone, so let's not talk about this anymore. I better think of a new pet peeve.

[Nathan]

editing my post in light of new response...

Okay... you still need to do something to stop the pain it's causing you. And letting it go won't do that. It will only get bottled up. You two need to talk... again...

Let's end it on your say, then. I hope things work out.

[BIGDAN]

I've been with him for over six years. It's not like we're both new to this. I don't have any intention of ending our relationship, if that's what you're implying. I just want him to realise that I hurt when his friend pulls this shit, and it's worse when he doesn't do anything about it. They were once very close, and I understand that they'll always have that bond - I don't want to take that away from either of them - but I'm a part of his life, too. I've been with him all the way, even when his friend didn't speak to him for almost three years.

Really, I appreciate what you're trying to say, but if I ended anything because of his friend, then, frankly, his friend has got what he wanted to begin with. I'll be fucked if I let that happen.

Thanks, Virginia. I know it sounds bitchy, but there's no way in hell he'd ever attend any wedding of mine. Especially as he was the first to say to me that my boyfriend was better being with someone else.

Okay, I don't want to get all Emo on anyone, so let's not talk about this anymore. I better think of a new pet peeve.

Hi LDW,

I will of course respect your privacy.

Kind Regards, Danny

[manderlyh]

Well, I was given the official email this morning that my night school class wasn't full enough to run for the term, so now, I'm only substituting.

Fuuuuckk.

I honestly don't have a reason to get up in the morning now! I don't have kids, I don't have any engagements, etc. Not only am I broke, I don't have the money to do anything.

I'm so glad I owe $50K in student loans to be unemployed. Wankers. Why can't they just see that I'm awesome and that even though I'm a brand new teacher, they want me in their school?

What really sucks is I spent a LONG time doing what I needed to do to have an outstanding resume when I graduated. I worked double time on many internships and projects that would help me out as a brand new teacher, and I hoped it would give me an edge when interviewing for jobs. I'm an English teacher, and I've tutored college students in writing and in literature; I've joined professional organizations, I've taken grad courses before I graduated with my BA, the list goes on and on...I've got business management experience, which also means I'm good at multitasking and doing large jobs...and I've got teaching experience that isn't contractual. I also know that the person who worried me the most (she was very critical) in means of references has given me glowing references every time someone has called on me.

WHY THE HELL AM I ONE OF TWO PEOPLE OUT OF LIKE TWENTY WHO HAS GRADUATED IN THE PAST 2 YEARS THAT DOESN'T HAVE A JOB?

[BIGDAN]

Well, I was given the official email this morning that my night school class wasn't full enough to run for the term, so now, I'm only substituting.

Fuuuuckk.

I honestly don't have a reason to get up in the morning now! I don't have kids, I don't have any engagements, etc. Not only am I broke, I don't have the money to do anything.

I'm so glad I owe $50K in student loans to be unemployed. Wankers. Why can't they just see that I'm awesome and that even though I'm a brand new teacher, they want me in their school?

What really sucks is I spent a LONG time doing what I needed to do to have an outstanding resume when I graduated. I worked double time on many internships and projects that would help me out as a brand new teacher, and I hoped it would give me an edge when interviewing for jobs. I'm an English teacher, and I've tutored college students in writing and in literature; I've joined professional organizations, I've taken grad courses before I graduated with my BA, the list goes on and on...I've got business management experience, which also means I'm good at multitasking and doing large jobs...and I've got teaching experience that isn't contractual. I also know that the person who worried me the most (she was very critical) in means of references has given me glowing references every time someone has called on me.

WHY THE HELL AM I ONE OF TWO PEOPLE OUT OF LIKE TWENTY WHO HAS GRADUATED IN THE PAST 2 YEARS THAT DOESN'T HAVE A JOB?

Hi Madders,

Ever thought of going "Private"?

I'm sure you could school a lot of us on here me being one of the prime "Language Criminals" about.

Kind Regards, Danny