Misty Posted May 9, 2008 Share Posted May 9, 2008 Thanks. I checked it out and as it turns out the only thing there is are meetings. Pretty sure some problems might arise if I asked my parents if I could go to one... But thank you anyway. No, nobody would let me live with them. My parents wouldnt let me leave....I've tried. So thanks. I'll get over it...Only 3 more years right? LadyPlant, I am so sorry for what you are living through at such a young age and such a vulnerable time in your life. I, too, live with an alcoholic...but I am 37 years old, and its something I have had to deal with as an adult, unlike you. I have been to one Alanon meeting...and what I learned most is that these alcoholics that are causing us pain, well, they rarely get sober. Alcoholism has a very low success rate in terms of recovery. So, what I learned is that I had to be the one to change my approach...I had to be the one to detach myself when I needed to in order to preserve my sanity. Please, please take care of yourself...and by that I mean please stay away from alcohol yourself. Also, please find someone (at Alanon, or school, or on line) that you can talk to that have experienced living with an alcoholic...hey, talk to me! If you call your local chapter of Alanon, and explain that you cannot physically get to a meeting, I am sure they will set you up with someone you can talk to over the phone. It is so important for you to make that connection, please try!! And please feel free to PM me, I would gladly lend you my ear and any support I could give. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosiegirl Posted May 9, 2008 Share Posted May 9, 2008 What do you expect a counselor to do to change your situation? You parents are not going to stop drinking. You just have to accept it. I am not sure if you are talking about going to one these mentioned meetigs or not. The ACOA meeting I went to did not have counselors. It consisted of people who actually went through, or are going through this situation. The people that have been there the longest. help the new comers to feel comfortable, and be able to express there feelings. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to,it also helps just to listen to others experiences. When and if you want to talk you can. It almost starts to feel like a family, trust builds between the members. It is understood that what is said here stays here, which is very important. You are right in saying she has to except her parents drinking, but what should be added to that is she cant stop them from drinking, and she should not feel responsible for it. Thats not to say they won't stop one day, but that is totally up to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosiegirl Posted May 9, 2008 Share Posted May 9, 2008 LadyPlant, I am so sorry for what you are living through at such a young age and such a vulnerable time in your life. I, too, live with an alcoholic...but I am 37 years old, and its something I have had to deal with as an adult, unlike you. I have been to one Alanon meeting...and what I learned most is that these alcoholics that are causing us pain, well, they rarely get sober. Alcoholism has a very low success rate in terms of recovery. So, what I learned is that I had to be the one to change my approach...I had to be the one to detach myself when I needed to in order to preserve my sanity. Please, please take care of yourself...and by that I mean please stay away from alcohol yourself. Also, please find someone (at Alanon, or school, or on line) that you can talk to that have experienced living with an alcoholic...hey, talk to me! If you call your local chapter of Alanon, and explain that you cannot physically get to a meeting, I am sure they will set you up with someone you can talk to over the phone. It is so important for you to make that connection, please try!! And please feel free to PM me, I would gladly lend you my ear and any support I could give. Very well said, Misty. I am also thinking that she might be able to get a ride from another member, if she calls and explains her situation, they might be able to help her out with that. But until then, she can see that we understand what she is going through and would be more than happy to talk anytime she feels like it. So if you read this LadyPlant please know we are hear for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8LadyPlant8 Posted May 9, 2008 Share Posted May 9, 2008 Thnks you guys. It really means a lot to me, and I have taken what you said seriously. Just to clarify, its not that I was hoping to change my parents behvior, I figured that was up to them. I'd just like to get some help and support for my brother (1o years old) and I. I always used to confront my recovering alcoholic (7 years sober) uncle. Last saturday night, my parents took him to the bar and got him wasted. ...And then there were 3. For the most part I think I can handle this, and when I cant, there is always this thread. Just knowing that there are decent people who care in the world really helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tejanablonde Posted May 10, 2008 Share Posted May 10, 2008 You have no idea how bad I *do* want to talk about it with these people. But I am fifteen years old. I cant drive, the nearest meeting is much too far away, and I cant exactly go ask someone to take me. I will keep looking for some sort of online support, because that is all i can do at this point. Thanks for caring though. I know where you're coming from. It stinks, no doubt about it. The thing that you can change/control is yourself. When things are bleak, start making detailed plans for YOUR future. Plan your actions. There is no way to control others. But you DO have a certain amount of control over yourself- and absolute control over your attitude. In most situations, your attitude is the thing that will bring you success. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jarlaxle 56 Posted May 10, 2008 Share Posted May 10, 2008 There's no easy way to help get rid of depression, but you just have to remember that it will go away. Keep that in mind, depression does not last forever, even if it is a chemical inbalance, but especially if it is because of something going on in your life. Just be glad that you are alive, period, I would rather be alive than dead because I would be missing out on life. The good and the bad things are what make life so amazing. If your depression is the cause of a chemical inbalance in the brain I recommend you see a doctor about it...as far as I know you can lead a normal life taking medication. I have met perfectly normal people who take medication for depression, sometime it's just a medical condition like any other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otto Masson Posted May 10, 2008 Share Posted May 10, 2008 Sounds like you have had an absolutely crap time Otto, no wonder you have had your own physical stuff to contend with, understandably with all the stress going on around you. I hope things get better for you and your parents. Nice seeing you, Paul! Thanks, I think things actually are getting much better now - I certainly have my energy back, and it's looking a lot better for my parents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ledded1 Posted May 10, 2008 Share Posted May 10, 2008 Nice seeing you, Paul! Thanks, I think things actually are getting much better now - I certainly have my energy back, and it's looking a lot better for my parents. good to see you too and to hear that things are improving Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slave to zep Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 im feeling bad. i have no money. i cant give my kids the things they want. i dont mean material crap. i can bearly pay the rent. i cant take them to a movie. we just stay at home all the time. i dont have a partner. i feel like " whats it all for?' coming on here is my life. looking at pics of jimmy is the only thing that brightens me up. im lost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gina62 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 im feeling bad. i have no money. i cant give my kids the things they want. i dont mean material crap. i can bearly pay the rent. i cant take them to a movie. we just stay at home all the time. i dont have a partner. i feel like " whats it all for?' coming on here is my life. looking at pics of jimmy is the only thing that brightens me up. im lost. hello slavetozep, i understand you ,i too can't do much because of my phobias of fear [ having panic attacks] that i can't go very many places, but i want too hard finding a counsoler close enough to me that i can afford, haven't found one yet. i have two children one is 24 the other 16 , i also look forward to looking at pics of jimmy!!! they brighten my day also such a lovely man! but we have to hang in there things will get better, would love to find a nice man to share the rest of my life with, but how do you do that when you don't get out.. but in the meanwhile i'll look at jimmy over and over!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reggie29 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 im feeling bad. i have no money. i cant give my kids the things they want. i dont mean material crap. i can bearly pay the rent. i cant take them to a movie. we just stay at home all the time. i dont have a partner. i feel like " whats it all for?' coming on here is my life. looking at pics of jimmy is the only thing that brightens me up. im lost. I'm sure things will get better, just hang in there it's only a matter of time. I got screwed over in a divorce etc. and it took me over 10 years to recover financially. The one good thing about having next to nothing is that you appreciate it more when you actually get something. The kids don't see anything but the love. Besides, there are some people who don't even have Jimmy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slave to zep Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 hello slavetozep, i understand you ,i too can't do much because of my phobias of fear [ having panic attacks] that i can't go very many places, but i want too hard finding a counsoler close enough to me that i can afford, haven't found one yet. i have two children one is 24 the other 16 , i also look forward to looking at pics of jimmy!!! they brighten my day also such a lovely man! but we have to hang in there things will get better, would love to find a nice man to share the rest of my life with, but how do you do that when you don't get out.. but in the meanwhile i'll look at jimmy over and over!! thanks gina, its nice to know im not the only one..........yes thats right! i cant find a man at home! what shall we do. im really low at the moment. really low Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slave to zep Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 I'm sure things will get better, just hang in there it's only a matter of time. I got screwed over in a divorce etc. and it took me over 10 years to recover financially. The one good thing about having next to nothing is that you appreciate it more when you actually get something. The kids don't see anything but the love. Besides, there are some people who don't even have Jimmy! thanks reggie. but it wont get better any time soon. its gonna take a long time. like i said. im in the wilderness....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slave to zep Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 anybody want to talk? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reggie29 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 anybody want to talk? PM me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slave to zep Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 PM me. id really like to hear what others have to say also, reggie. im just so bummed today.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ally Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 anybody want to talk? Sure ! I 've got a little bit of time before zzzzzzzzz time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slave to zep Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 Sure ! I 've got a little bit of time before zzzzzzzzz time hi ally. can you relate to what im going thru? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ally Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 hi ally. can you relate to what im going thru? I can relate to feeling down about things. Everyone has those moments I'm all ears Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slave to zep Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 I can relate to feeling down about things. Everyone has those moments I'm all ears oh i dont know what to say .....ive been teary all day......im just at a loss......i go to work, come home go to work on and on.....and nothing left. as soon as i get paid, im broke. i feel like my life is going nowhere......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ally Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 oh i dont know what to say .....ive been teary all day......im just at a loss......i go to work, come home go to work on and on.....and nothing left. as soon as i get paid, im broke. i feel like my life is going nowhere......... Your kids are proof that your life definately is somewhere. But I understand that It can be overwhelming to say the least. I have to ask, How old are your children and how long have you been feeling so low about things ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slave to zep Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 Your kids are proof that your life definately is somewhere. But I understand that It can be overwhelming to say the least. I have to ask, How old are your children and how long have you been feeling so low about things ? 21, 19 and 7. 2 youngest at home. ive been feeling bad for a couple of years now, since my little ones father and i split. i guess i still love him, but we just cant get it together. what sent me over the edge today is a letter from child support, which tells me how much i owe him. we have shared custody. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reggie29 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 Yeah the CSA can be heartless bastards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ally Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 21, 19 and 7. 2 youngest at home. ive been feeling bad for a couple of years now, since my little ones father and i split. i guess i still love him, but we just cant get it together. what sent me over the edge today is a letter from child support, which tells me how much i owe him. we have shared custody. That's a tough one. I take it that your EX is not helping the situation. That's not cool. Is he capable of handling things without your support or is he not agreeable to some kind of compromise ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slave to zep Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 Yeah the CSA can be heartless bastards. they take nothing into account! he pays no rent, lives with his mum. gets cash in the hand ( muso ) and i had the child ALL of the school holidays. its just not fair. im going to court. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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