Depression

[AllisonAdler]

I agree if you're saying medication isn't always the right way to go. Seems to me, if I read this correctly, Ev has been feeling "depressed" since September when he lost his job. Well we are now well into February. Almost half a year has gone by. I don't know him or anything about him, but unless he has a nice savings account how does he get by?

Like I said earlier, seek professional help. Therapy and/or meds, whatever he winds up doing, it's time to take the first step. If you can get by with normal daily routines (work, taking care of whatever business you have) and are still depressed, well then I think you can live that way for a long time. May not be the healthiest and certainly not the happiest way to be, but it can be done. If your life is so effected by the depression that all you do is sit around and drink all day (like someone I love would like to do with the rest of his sorry life), then it's time for some REAL help.

For the record, I do not advocate antidepressants unless it's a later step. They have many side effects, often very dangerous ones.

Ev, you need to talk to someone who can really help you. Don't waste away.

Very well said. I'm so saddened to hear about your depression, Ev--it's a really difficult thing to deal with. From personal experience, I think meds tend to do more harm than good, but a severe clinical depression does need medical attention. If it is more that life's circs have thrown you for a loop and the right path seems elusive, then it is, as FuzzyM suggested, really useful to find small things to get you outside enjoying the sunshine we have here--it really has helped me (it was actually one of the main reasons I got dogs myself, to get me outdoors on a regular basis, and they really saved my life--still are saving it, dear creatures). Anyway, hope we can all help you through this time, and feel free to pm if you ever need a chat.

[JulieLuvsRobert]

Hang in there, Ev. Been there, too, and lived to tell about it

[Dzldoc]

Hey Ev hope ya feel better soon. I have a suggestion if I may, I don't know if your handy with a hammer and a saw but there is still years of work down here in New Orleans and the surrounding suburbs, we were whacked hard. The French Quarter is kickin' and I was thinking you might could find a part time gig while pounding nails or painting or hanging sheet rock. Who knows you might find yourself in the right place at the right time. Jazz Fest is coming up as well, the music scene is rockn' down here again. Well just my 2 cents good luck bro.

[ally]

Therapy should be the first step if you think you have clinical depression. If meds are necessary, which is not alway's the case, then work with your profesional to achive a good result. Meds can be complicated but, not necessarily dangerous. There have been some well documented bad cases involving meds ..no doubt about it... but there are so many positive outcomes that we don't hear about. It concerns me that these bad examples may negatively influence people into not seeking help. Self medication was the route I tried and... failed at. Much safer to go a controlled route if you ask me.

As far as being tn a position to seek professional help.... chances are that someone we know is suffering or was suffering just like us... People who matter in a persons life can be a huge help in getting treatment

[LadyRaven]

I've suffered through some pretty bad bouts of depression over the years. The worst being my first year of college, I didn't know what I wanted to do and I didn't know what was going to happen next or where I would be a week later. When that was happening I was staying up all night staring into space or reading. I was finishing long novels in a matter of days. To me it seemed I really didn't know who I was any more and I was just really confused. I wasn't eating or really doing much of anything else except for going to class at a school I hated and working at a job I hated even more. My mum was threatening to send me away to a nut house if I didn't get help. It helped and I got put on antidepressents which I wasn't thrilled about at first because I was afraid of what they would do to me. I was on drugs for ADD when I was younger and didn't have a good experince with them so I didn't want to start taking a different drug, but I did and they helped.

If I were you I'd try and get some help- why suffer when there's other options? You probably don't have any health insurrance though and will get raped with astronimical bills through- the biggest problem with the American health care system.

[Electrophile]

What's Dr. Kevorkian up to these days. Maybe you should hit him up.

You ass.

[Lake of Shadows]

Ev... I hear ya. I'm assuming you'd like some concrete suggestions...

I've been diagnosed with it, and have gotten help for it, with a variety of things including (but certainly not limited to) meds. My husband had pretty bad clinical depression for several years, so I also know what it's like to watch someone you love suffer.

Whether you have clinical depression, situational depression, or a combination of both, isn't for me to determine... that's best done by a health professional who can actually see you. (My opinion is that it's probably some of both).

I know it can be hard to dig up the energy to do anything beyond sit and stare into space. The smallest and simplest of tasks can seem dificult, even overwhelming at times. At a time when you need to 'do something about the problem', the problem saps your energy to the point that you just can't. People around you can get frustrated cuz it seems like you just need to 'get up and do something about it' yet it feels almost impossible to so.

I echo what some others have said, I think you ought to see someone. If money is an issue, try the county mental health services. If it's too difficult to get that going, perhaps Angi can do that groundwork for you.

Meds can be helpful... they aren't a cure, but for some folks they help with the chemical imbalance, the person feels a bit better and can then do the other stuff necessary to deal with it, cope with it, etc. (My ex described depression as sometimes coming in like strong ocean waves and the meds as being like a lifesaver, enabling him to ride the wave instead of going under. It doesn't get rid of the waves, just makes them survivable. Yes, there are horror stories about folks on meds but far, far more people have been helped by them. Just throwing pills at someone doesn't solve anything, but if used appropriately as part of an overall treatment plan, they can be a valuable tool.

Counseling can be invaluable in learning how to cope with things and developing strategies to deal with them, learn about yourself, etc. By itself, it may not be real helpful in restoring chemical imbalances, but as part of an overall treatment plan it also can be a valuable tool.

It is true that alcohol is a depressant, and can actually exacerbate the problem. Using it to numb out how you feel just avoids dealing with the issue... and sooner or later it quits working, and even adds a few troubles of its own. If you've been drinking steadily and heavily for any length of time I don't recommend you do the cold turkey thing and just stop. You might want to start trying to taper it back gradually... and when you see someone, be honest about what you drink and how much.

Finally, a comment to Angi... I don't know how all this is affecting you, etc. but I know it can be real hard to watch someone you care about go through this. Get some help for yourself too if you need it.

A big hug to you both.

~~~~~~~~~

A quick sidenote to Joelmon...you meant well, good intentions, and all that. I'm glad you don't get bored when you have a lot of free time on your hands. However, you're kind of a go go go guy, almost manic sometimes, and your suggestions, while well-intended, probably aren't that useful for the problem as described by Ev. It's outside of your experience... just like a lot of things are outside of mine... so please quit worrying about folks taking exception to it. (An example on a smaller scale... when I'm in a foul mood, I don't particularly 'appreciate' somebody bouncing up to me all cheerfully sunny and spouting platitudes to 'cheer up', 'smile', 'today is the first day of the rest of your life', etc. etc. It just isn't helpful and if anything, just incites the desire to smack 'em right in their big smiles).

[maven2blue]

I've always enjoyed reading your posts, Ev. There are a lot of people who love you, on here and PZ. Hang in there, we're rooting for you.

[obsessedwithzeppelin]

I don't know him or anything about him, but unless he has a nice savings account how does he get by?

It hasn't been easy...

What's Dr. Kevorkian up to these days. Maybe you should hit him up.

Go to hell, asshole.

[Queen Xiombarg]

I know what it's like. Been depressed on and off all my life. I don't have much advice other than don't let apathy rule your life. Make sure you get out in the fresh air and try to focus on the few things that DO make you happy and that really matters in your life, like love and family. It will pass but it sure sucks to be in that situation. If you aren't normally prone to depression I think meds are a bad alternative. After all, the fault is not in you - the fault is the shitty situation you are in. I hope everything will change for you soon and that your luck will turn to better. Because it will.

[Hermit]

Sorry to hear you're feeling down, Ev.

No matter how bad things seem now, they will turn around. You can bank on that. In the mean time there is something for you to learn/gain from this experience. My hope is that you find the strength and willingness to be fully present in this experience and that you may then discover the openness, spaciousness, and love in which depression is appearing for you. If you drop deeply into your despair you will discover limitless Love, bro,.. I promise you.

My thoughts are with you, friend.

*big hug*

~ H

[kirchzep27]

Hey evster, i really dont know you but appreciate your zep knowledge on the board. In the past when i have been in between jobs and have turned to beer with too much free time, have been in a haze too. I would say once you have a job and a schedule again things will be better, then just bust out the beers on the weekends ya know.

You seem to have many friends on the board and a great relationship with -owz, so things will turn around. I agree with the reccomendation of dogs, get a dog...and ofcourse listening to music, two basic appreciations of life right there.

[Evster2012]

I have to say I am at once shocked (at the outpouring in just a matter of hours), humbled, encouraged and deeply moved by the responses in this thread. You've all been so kind in your words. I never realized how many real friends I have here!

I don't think I'm clinically depressed (as in chemically imbalanced). See, I worked as a graphic artist for years. Then I developed chronic tendonitis and was ruled permanently disabled. I spent three years living on disability. Then in 2003 a friend who is a masseuse (sp?) started working on my arms, wrists and hands intensely. Sometimes three sessions a day. I still can't write with a pen without crippling pain, but I could type, work on the computer and play my guitar again. My drummer (who's a realtor and loan officer) hired me to be his assistant. Then his boss hired me to do the company's marketing as well as handling phones and basically being the guy in the office who knew where everything was, so to speak. I had a job where my employer was a friend and I could create a position that suited me. When the market tanked, he had to lay me off. I've applied for several jobs, but with a large worker's comp settlement on my record, no one will touch me. I'm a "risk". Further exascerbating the situation is that I don't really have a trade since I can't do full-time graphics work as my tendonitis will come back quickly in that work. I'm overqualified to be a cashier or a stocker. It's mindnumbing.

As for professional help, I have no insurance even if I wanted to talk to someone.

As for finances, I just recently took out a loan on my truck (which I owned free and clear). Now I have some cash in the bank, but I also now have a car payment I didn't have before. I've also eBayed much of my musical equipment. That's how we've been getting by.

I don't have a dog, but we do have a cat, and yes that helps. And of course I have Angi.

Not all days are like yesterday was. It comes in waves. It's more fear and anxiety than depression. Yeah, I've got rent and the bills covered for the next 4-5 months, but then what? I know something will come, but will it come in time? That's what's got me spooked, and on some days, really bummed out.

Again, thanks for listening and for caring! You guys rule!

[FuzzyMerkin]

I don't have a dog, but we do have a cat, and yes that helps.

That's not exactly what I meant. Of course having a pet as such is helpful, but the point is to find something that makes you go outside and get some exercise. Walking a dog can be great in that respect. Just going for walks regularly will do the same trick, though it might be harder to find the motivation. The point is that both sunlight/daylight and even some light exercise will brighten the mood and help you come to terms better with the anxiety and ensuing stress. This may sound silly, but in a way the human being is a flight animal - so if a situation feels threatening, running away (or running around the block) is a very natural response. Even though this will do nothing to change the situation as such, it will give you the feeling that you're active again...which in turn may give your self-esteem a boost and maybe provide the necessary kick for further activities.

[kidmoon]

I just sit in my chair and drink beer by the case... I think I'm suffering from depression.

Quitting drinking would help you... Drinking affects everyone--including those around you.

I hope you can find contentedness.

[Evster2012]

so they settled with you huh? Did people try and talk you out of the settlement? I got hurt on job and know much about this type of thing. You are correct about employers being afraid of past comp cases. Did they give you a fair settlement? (as if they ever do). Guess i should slap myself for asking. But did you have the option of just collectingn forever or did you more or less have to take it? One thing you could consider and I know its a tough thing, woudl be to get out of Cal and go to a more affordable state and you would have a fresh start at it. Hell beingn a great guitarist you could form a band as a night or weekend job,. I have heard Cal is outrageous for living expensenses. I dont know how you guys do it. Come to NY!

I got a check for 100k in '03. That bought me my truck and got me out of my old RV and into an apartment which I was able to furnish nicely. I also invested nearly half of it in establishing my position (which at first I wasn't paid for) at the company. It paid off in that I was able to create a position custom-tailored for myself, and for a few years everything was good. Now I'm back at square one. So there ya go.

[Aquamarine]

I can't add much, sweetie, except that you were at square one before, and a miracle happened, remember? Just keep remembering. It'll happen again, only even better, because now you have Angi.

[ally]

You've gotta lot of friends here Ev

[PageAngel]

Oh...I wish I had a magic wand to make everyone who suffers with depression, or any other kind of problems, better. I can surely relate to many of the things I read here. A big hug to all of you and I'll be sending out as much positive energy and good thoughts for you all as I can.

The thing that helped me most in my struggles was remembering that circumstances change, and what is today doesn't have to be tomorrow; and find something that makes you see the beauty in life, come what may. Grab on to that person/object whatever it is, and let it keep reminding you to look at the stars.

[Mona]

I was wondering where you had gone, Ev.

I have depression, too, as you know. It isn't fun at all. There are a couple things you can do...you can go to the doctor and get medicine. You don't have to be on it for a long time, I think they put people who aren't chronically depressed on medicine for 6 months or something. You can go to a counciler and have them help you. Or you can just wait for it to go away. Some things work better for certain people than others, it depends on why you're depressed and how bad things are.

Everyone goes through bouts of depression. It's unfortunate, but natural. If yours doesn't get better in a few months, you should definatly get help for it.

There are a ton of websites out there about managing depression. You should take a look at them and see if there is anything that could help. Here are a few basic tips: keep yourself busy, make sure you are eating and sleeping well, keep things clean, try to view things in a positive light, and exercise. Those all help.

[Lilith]

Hey Ev, like many other people in this thread, I don't even know you, but having seen little snapshots of your amazing personality, humour, not to mention Zep knowledge around the board, I genuinely feel for you. Hopefully two things will have become clear over the past few hours - firstly, that there are an awful lot of people who understand only too well how you are feeling, you are not on your own there. Secondly, people genuinely care and wish you well.

I too wish I had a magic wand to make it all better. Hopefully, some of the really good suggestions that folks here have made, combined with the obvious affection that people feel for you, will go a little way towards making you feel a bit better.

Take care (and stay off the beer! )

[zero]

He just needs to win the lottery.....Ka-ching !

No more depression about a JOB !!!

I don't understand how anyone would get bored with lots of free time on their hands. That's not reference to you Ev....just in general.

Enjoy your free time...get out..take hikes, go to the beach. Live life !!!

when speaking of run of the mill blues or feeling sorry for yourself .in that advice he's right. setting around wondering and thinking about things getting better magically will not work. nor will depending on mental health experts. as with anything you have to do something to help yourself (as opposed to feeding into it). it's a slow thing ,making changes in your life. don't expect some quick fix. you can expect slowly recovering. one day you'll just notice you feel better than you did. the best thing to do is to carry on and keep yourself occupied with something. it helps train the mind to break the habit of negative thought patterns. some people have a tendency to feel sorry for themselves , it helps to see others less fortunate than you and to help them. if you are just locked in your own little world surrounded by walls you loose perspective. think about the good things you have and can have. regardless of anything it will eventually pass as all things will.

[PageAngel]

We're luckier than some though because I bet quite a lot of us on this board would agree that we have access to one magic wand that makes things feel better....

[peppermint]

I am new here, but sincerely I want to wish you well in your : life, to always be hopeful,I am sure that you have a special talent, and that so much will happen if you have faith never give up, and look for the finer points.The best to you.

[ally]

Having read everyones posts I think it's safe to say that, there is no one correct answer when it comes to depression. What we can conclude though is that, there are plenty of definate.. don't does. Good luck to everyone in your quest to find the light at the end of the tunnel