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The Bomber

Drummer Jokes (No offense meant to Bonzo or Jason)

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"Why are drummers like their instruments?"

Because they're something simple that you should hit.

Alternatively...

Because they're easy to use.

"What does a drummer get after 10 minutes jamming?"

Stockholm Syndrome.

"What do you get when your drummer is late for practice?"

A drum machine.

Share yours!

:beer:

Edited by The Bomber

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"Why are drummers like their instruments?"

Because they're something simple that you should hit.

Alternatively...

Because they're easy to use.

"What does a drummer get after 10 minutes jamming?"

Stockholm Syndrome.

"What do you get when you're a drummer is late for practice?"

A drum machine.

Share yours!

:beer:

I spotted your spelling mistake proving some drummers really are intelligent beings. :P :P I really can't remember any drummer jokes as far as I know, apart from the fact that whe we walk, our knuckles scrape along the floor.

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I spotted your spelling mistake proving some drummers really are intelligent beings. :P :P I really can't remember any drummer jokes as far as I know, apart from the fact that whe we walk, our knuckles scrape along the floor.

Hmmm,take this one away for testing immediately,next time you display intelligence drummer remember,i've got the anal probe.

"Tired of the social stigma of being a drummer,our hero decided to become a real musician and become a guitarist,so he walked into a shop and said "Hello,i'm a...i'm a guitarist!And i'd like to know what you have in the way of gibson les pauls?"The shopkeeper looked at him and said,"You're a drummer,aren't you?"Our hero was flabbergasted,"How did you know?!?!?" He exclaimed."Because this is a butchers."Said the shopkeeper.

:L It's not as if there aren't some good intelligent drummers out there,i just love drummer jokes! :P :P (Forgive me,i'm a guitarist,the most egotistical human being on the face of the earth who plans to kill the lead singer in his sleep) Drummer jokes are great,percussion instruments are the only instruments that are sad enough to accept a bag of cat's being smashed against a wall as a musical instrument (Once again,the ego)

I know a guy who went into a store and asked if they had left-handed drum sticks,they actually kicked him out of the shop for being such an idiot!

Look at Queen,Brian has a physics PhD,Freddie was an art student,John has a maths PhD,and Roger [Our slack-jawed,drumming friend] is a dentist,two doctors,an artist,and a dentist,intelligent drummer,but for every intelligent drummer there are 2 PhD's and an art student which IMHO overshadows dentistry.

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when buddy rich died .. this guy called his wife asking for him,"he's dead" she replied.

same guy calls again asking for buddy "he's dead! didn't you hear me!?" "yeah i know,i just love hearing it"

the sad part is that may not even be a joke

Edited by zero

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What happened when the drummer locked his keys in his car?

he spent an hour getting the bass player out

I'd have to agree with Richard here,brilliant! :thumbsup: double whammy,drummer and bassist.

Class act.

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Come on Suz,got any jokes?If so then why hold out on us?

Sorry, I can't remember any. My mind is like a sieve (is that how you spell it?) :P

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Sorry, I can't remember any. My mind is like a sieve (is that how you spell it?) :P

Mind like a sieve (Correct spelling btw) eh?You'd make a good drummer Suz! :lol::P :P

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What do Ginger Baker and black coffee have in common?

They both suck without Cream

What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?

"Hey guys, why don't we try one of my songs."

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What do Ginger Baker and black coffee have in common?

They both suck without Cream

What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?

"Hey guys, why don't we try one of my songs."

:hysterical: ... :thumbsup: ...

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No offense intended, my fellow musicians.

1.What do you call a drummer who has broken up with his girlfriend?

Homeless.

2. What does a drummer use for a contraceptive?

His Personality.

This one's even harsher yet:

3. What do you call a drummer with half a brain?

Gifted :o

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Some of the ones given are brilliant!

"What do you do when your drummer falls out the back of the tour bus?"

Reverse.

"What do you call it when the musicians of the band are backstage drinking tea in the middle of the show?"

The Drum Solo.

Keep 'em comin',no offense,most drummers rock,but you make great targets.

I know a drummer who likes to point out mistakes,i hit the wrong chord he says "Back to school for you" and does the Badum,Tissssh!Thing with the kit.Other times back to school for you is the prefix or suffix to a drumstick being chucked at my head.

Once he accused me of playing B sharp when i should have played a C! (If you don't know music it skips B# and goes right up to C)

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"What do factory workers and drummers have in common?"

If they show up late for work they're replaced with a machine.

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Ok, ok.

Eat your heart out:

• How do you tell if the stage is level?

The drummer is drooling from both sides of his mouth.

• What's the best way to confuse a drummer?

Put a sheet of music in front of him.

• Why is a drum machine better than a drummer?

Because it can keep good time and won't sleep with your girlfriend. (I can say this one is quite accurate even for a joke.)

• Hey, did you hear about the drummer who finished high school?

Me either.

• Why do guitarists put drumsticks on the dash of their car?

So they can park in the handicapped spot.

• What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer. (Classic one right there.)

• How is a drum solo like a sneeze?

You can tell it's coming, but you can't do anything about it.

• What does the average drummer get on an IQ test?

Drool.

• Why do bands have bass players?

To translate for the drummer.

• How can you tell a drummer is walking behind you?

You can hear his knuckles dragging on the ground.

• What do you call 10 guys in a drum circle?

A dope ring.

• What has three legs and an asshole?

A drum stool.

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Ok, ok.

Eat your heart out:

• How do you tell if the stage is level?

The drummer is drooling from both sides of his mouth.

• What's the best way to confuse a drummer?

Put a sheet of music in front of him.

• Why is a drum machine better than a drummer?

Because it can keep good time and won't sleep with your girlfriend. (I can say this one is quite accurate even for a joke.)

• Hey, did you hear about the drummer who finished high school?

Me either.

• Why do guitarists put drumsticks on the dash of their car?

So they can park in the handicapped spot.

• What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer. (Classic one right there.)

• How is a drum solo like a sneeze?

You can tell it's coming, but you can't do anything about it.

• What does the average drummer get on an IQ test?

Drool.

• Why do bands have bass players?

To translate for the drummer.

• How can you tell a drummer is walking behind you?

You can hear his knuckles dragging on the ground.

• What do you call 10 guys in a drum circle?

A dope ring.

• What has three legs and an asshole?

A drum stool.

Already heard the first 3 and the classic one,but don't mind hearing them again! (Unlike another drum solo) Obviously as a drummer you've come into many insults for your handicap,some great ones right there.

"Why are drummers like alcoholics?"

Because they come home drunk and beat the skins off their loved ones.

"What do you get when you cross a drummer with a newborn baby?"

Friends for the next 5 years and the baby outgrows the drummer.

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• How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Five: One to screw the bulb in, and four to talk about how much better

Neil Peart coulda done it.

• How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they have a machine to do that now.

Im not sure whats better.

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• How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Five: One to screw the bulb in, and four to talk about how much better

Neil Peart coulda done it.

• How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they have a machine to do that now.

Im not sure whats better.

I like the first one.

Which one of these is better?

Why are drummers like their instruments?

A)Because they're something simple you should hit.

B)Because they're easy to use.

C)Because they're replacable.

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How can you tell if a drummer is knocking at your front door?

Because the knock speeds up, and he doesn't know when to come in...

eyethankyew.

:o

:notworthy:

Bloody Brilliant

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when buddy rich died .. this guy called his wife asking for him,"he's dead" she replied.

same guy calls again asking for buddy "he's dead! didn't you hear me!?" "yeah i know,i just love hearing it"

the sad part is that may not even be a joke

I'd say it's true just from listening to that recording one of his band members made of his rants.

But he was voted #1 drummer of all time.

B)

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