FuzzyMerkin Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 To fit the mood - some jokes that are guaranteed not to make you laugh. Whats black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill What's green and sings? Elvis Parsley Two fish in a tank, one says to the other 'Can you drive this thing?' Two cows in a field. One says to the other,"Here, what do you think of this mad cow disease?" The other replies,"Why you asking me, I'm a rabbit" What's red and stands in the corner? A naughty strawberry What's white and can't climb trees? A fridge! Why do cows have bells? Cause their horns don't work There was ten cats in a basket. One jumped out. How many where left? None. They are all copy cats. What do you call a woman that can wash up, cook and vacuum the stairs at the same time? A swiss army wife Your turn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MistyMountain67 Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 guy walks into a bar and says ouch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FuzzyMerkin Posted March 3, 2008 Author Share Posted March 3, 2008 guy walks into a bar and says ouch. That actually made me laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kissandra Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 A naughty strawberry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MistyMountain67 Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 guy walks into a bar with a pile of dog shit in his hands and sais: "hey guys, look what i almost stepped in !" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bonham Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 guy walks into a bar with a pile of dog shit in his hands and sais: "hey guys, look what i almost stepped in !" :hysterical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MistyMountain67 Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 whats the difference between "oooooo" and "ahhhhh" About three inches. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FuzzyMerkin Posted March 3, 2008 Author Share Posted March 3, 2008 Two fonts walk into a bar. The bartender says to them "Sorry, we don't serve your type here." Q. What's pink and fluffy ? A. Pink fluff Q. What's blue and fluffy? A. Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's invisible and smells of carrots? Rabbits' farts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gainsbarre Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 Why did the milk maid sit down? Because she couldn't stand milking... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lzfan715 Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 I actually thought that was funny. My brother likes to tell jokes, and usually thy're dumb and funny. So when he tells one I'll post it. Edited: Wait he's here now. Why don't you take a Pokemon into the bathroom? It might Picachu. (Peek-at-you.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FuzzyMerkin Posted March 3, 2008 Author Share Posted March 3, 2008 I actually thought that was funny. My brother likes to tell jokes, and usually thy're dumb and funny. So when he tells one I'll post it. Edited: Wait he's here now. Why don't you take a Pokemon into the bathroom? It might Picachu. (Peek-at-you.) We might have a winner - that one's truly terrible! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilith Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 A horse walks into a bar. The barman looks up and says "Why the long face?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lzfan715 Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 We might have a winner - that one's truly terrible! He thinks that is the funniest joke ever. It's his age, most elementary school kids would think it's funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Electrophile Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 Knock, knock Who's there? Knock, knock Who's there? Knock, knock Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say "knock knock"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Action Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 What's the difference between parsley and pussy? Spats WILL eat parsley. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenderguy Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 Here's one I thought was great when I was in kindergarden: Why did six run away from seven? Because seven ate nine!! (remember this is supposed to be for the WORST joke.) Sticks and stones may break my bones, so please, please don't throw sticks and stones!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenderguy Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 What's the difference between parsley and pussy? Spats WILL eat parsley. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Electrophile Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 What's the difference between parsley and pussy? Spats WILL eat parsley. Harsh, dude. Harsh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chien Noir Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 But how true. The laughter woke up my bro. And some joke, to stay ontopic Gun Shop Owner: "Hi, How can I help you?" Client: "I`m lookin` for a gun." Owner:"What kind of gun are you lookin` for?" Client: (pointing at the biggest handgun in the case): "That one looks about right." Owner: (very surprised): " Why do you need a .44 magnum?" Client: "It`s for shootin` at cans." Owner: (pointing at a small handgun): "Well, this is the perfect size for shooting at cans." Client: (pointing again at the .44): "Nah, I need this one." Owner: "OK, what kind a cans are you shooting at?" Client: "Mexi-cans.......Puerto Ri-cans........Afri-cans " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lzfan715 Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 That's terrible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoubleNecker Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 Here's a terrible joke. What's that thing between your grandamothers boobs? Her vagina.... *dodges bullets* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suz Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 Guy hears a knock at the door, opens it and no one's there. He looks down and sees a snail, picks it up and throws it in the yard. 3 years later there's another knock at the door. He opens it and no one's there. He looks down and sees a snail again. They snail says, "That was rude!" groan.....I know. My friend's little kid told that one. I have no idea how the snail knocked, so don't ask! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lzfan715 Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 That made me laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TypeO Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 This one works best when spoken, but anyway: Knock, Knock. Who's There? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow wh- MOO-OO-OO! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gainsbarre Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 Here's a terrible joke. What's that thing between your grandamothers boobs? Her vagina.... *dodges bullets* Now that was funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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