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FuzzyMerkin

Worst Joke Ever

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Guy hears a knock at the door, opens it and no one's there. He looks down and sees a snail, picks it up and throws it in the yard. 3 years later there's another knock at the door. He opens it and no one's there. He looks down and sees a snail again. They snail says, "That was rude!"

groan.....I know. My friend's little kid told that one. I have no idea how the snail knocked, so don't ask!

I heard it as Guy hears a knock at the door, opens it and no one's there. He looks down and sees a snail, picks it up and throws it in the yard. 3 years later there's another knock at the door. He opens it and no one's there. He looks down and sees a snail again. Then the guy said, What the fuck is you're problem.

don't worry i copied and pasted your'e joke and added a diffent punchline

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Heres one, i think i got it from the sopranos, every time i told it, no one laughed.

There are these two old Italian guys sitting at a restaurant having dinner. One rich, one poor. the poor guy asks the rich guy what did you get you're wife for Christmas. The rich guy says, "I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new BMW. IF she does not like the ring, she could take it back in her new car." The rich guy asks the poor guy what did you get for you're wife. The poor guys says, "I bought my wife slippers and a dildo. If she don't like the slippers, she can go and fuck herself"!

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies?

One live baby trapped in the pile of dead babies that has to eat it's way out and comes back for seconds.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies?

One live baby trapped in the pile of dead babies that has to eat it's way out and comes back for seconds.

That reminds me of the bad baby joke I heard as a kid. What sits in the corner, getting smaller and smaller? A baby playing with a potato peeler.

Ar ar ar ar ar..............................................not!

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But how true.

The laughter woke up my bro.

And some joke, to stay ontopic

Gun Shop Owner: "Hi, How can I help you?"

Client: "I`m lookin` for a gun."

Owner:"What kind of gun are you lookin` for?"

Client: (pointing at the biggest handgun in the case): "That one looks about

right."

Owner: (very surprised): " Why do you need a .44 magnum?"

Client: "It`s for shootin` at cans."

Owner: (pointing at a small handgun): "Well, this is the perfect size for

shooting at cans."

Client: (pointing again at the .44): "Nah, I need this one."

Owner: "OK, what kind a cans are you shooting at?"

Client: "Mexi-cans.......Puerto Ri-cans........Afri-cans "

That's something the KKK would love. Okay, here's another KKK style joke.

Have you heard that the KKK are producing a Christmas album? It will be called, "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas.

Ar ar ar ar.................................

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What's worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree?

A dead baby nailed to ten trees.

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He thinks that is the funniest joke ever. It's his age, most elementary school kids would think it's funny.

I know a couple of guys who'd think that the funniest joke ever.

Some of them work in management positions... :rolleyes:

Guy hears a knock at the door, opens it and no one's there. He looks down and sees a snail, picks it up and throws it in the yard. 3 years later there's another knock at the door. He opens it and no one's there. He looks down and sees a snail again. They snail says, "That was rude!"

Awwww...that's cute! :D

What lies in the grass and goes "ooooooohhhhh"?

A cow without lips.

*Gets coat* :bagoverhead:

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Why do they boil water right before a child is born?

Because if the child is born, they can have soup...

=\

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These are some real shitty ones:

A bear walks into a bar and says, "I want a bourbon and............... coke."

The bartender asks "what's with the huge pause?"

The bear says, "I've had them all my life."

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

Where's my tractor!?

What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common?

Their middle names.

What do you call a chicken in the North Pole?

Lost.

If the pilgrims were alive today, what would they best be known for?

Their age.

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.

One says, "I've lost my electron."

The other says, "Are you sure?"

The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

What did the Dhali Lama say to the hot dog vender?

Make me one with everything.

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What Did robin say to BAtman about 200 miles of Gothancity?

"Batman, we're about 200 milles of Gothancity"

What means an elephant on a tree?

less one elephant on the earth

What means 2 elephants on a tree?

Less one tree on the earth...

What is a black point in a microscope?

a Blackterium

Why did the boy sent the butter across the windows?

To see the "butter fly"

Edited by GioBrasil

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These are some real shitty ones:

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.

One says, "I've lost my electron."

The other says, "Are you sure?"

The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

Actually, I find this one funny...must be deformation from seven years of chem on high school and two on uni..

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Did you hear about the guy born with 5 dicks?

his condoms fit like a glove

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a ham sandwich walks into a bar, the bartender looks at it and says

Sorry we dont serve food here

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Did you hear about the guy born with 5 dicks?

his condoms fit like a glove

:lol:

Terrible jokes, everbody - you do me proud! :)

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Knock, knock!

Who's There?

Madame!

Madame who?

Madame foot's caught in the door!

Worst joke EVER!!

cbgcomputer.gif

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I heard it as Guy hears a knock at the door, opens it and no one's there. He looks down and sees a snail, picks it up and throws it in the yard. 3 years later there's another knock at the door. He opens it and no one's there. He looks down and sees a snail again. Then the guy said, What the fuck is you're problem.

don't worry i copied and pasted your'e joke and added a diffent punchline

:lol:

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That reminds me of the bad baby joke I heard as a kid. What sits in the corner, getting smaller and smaller? A baby playing with a potato peeler.

Ar ar ar ar ar..............................................not!

I'm sorry, but this really made me crack up.

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Craig Ferguson told this joke on his show a little while ago, and my blinding love for him made me laugh my ass off. It was not warranted, though. :P

"My uncle was a strict vegetarian. In fact, at his funeral there was quite a turn up."

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What's worse that a truck load of dead babies?

Having to unload them with a pitchfork.

Ewww.

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A Rabbi, a horse and a midget walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

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What do you call a rooster with ED?

Boneless chicken :chickeddance:

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I think I may have posted this one somewhere else.

Actually think it's funny but some may think it's the worst.

This guy goes to his doctor for a check up and blood tests.

Doctor: I'm sorry I have some bad news for you, you've tested positive for AIDS

Patient: Oh no! what am I going to do doctor?

Doctor: Go home and chop up a dozen habinaro peppers, 8 oz of cayene pepper and mix it with a 12 oz glass of Tobasco and drink it as fast as you can.

Patient: Will that cure me?

Doctor: No! but it will give you a better Idea of what your ass is for.

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A traveling salesman sees a man in a field having sex with a sheep. He slams on the breaks, runs up to the farmhouse and pounds on the door. A little girl opens it and he says "There's a man in your yard with a sheep". She says "He's my D-aaaaaaaad".

Edited by SteveAJones

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