Jump to content
Slate Blackcurrant Watermelon Strawberry Orange Banana Apple Emerald Chocolate Marble
Slate Blackcurrant Watermelon Strawberry Orange Banana Apple Emerald Chocolate Marble
Sign in to follow this  
FuzzyMerkin

Worst Joke Ever

Recommended Posts

god, this thread reminds me of this thing at my high school. you know when your going to the bathroom and there are advertisements above the urinals? well for guys anyway. at my school they have shit like that and they have events for the school, blah, blah. anyone they usually put horrible jokes like these on there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Whatdaya call a dog with no hind legs and balls of steel?

Sparky!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

if jack the donkey helped you, would you help jack the donkey?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

if my dog had a face like yours i'd shave his ass andteach him to walk backwards

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
if my dog had a face like yours i'd shave his ass and teach him to walk backwards

Nice, Klinger. :lol:

How do you describe a blonde with a runny nose?

Full.

(my sincere apologies to all the blonde ladies here!!)

Edited by Rock Action

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My Dads.. there are WAY TOO MANY to write here.

1. Hold your hand up with your hands cupped and fingers spread.

What's this?

Dunno

An upside-down spider.

*slaps head*

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Jimmy Carr One-Liners:

My parents are from Glasgow which means they're incredibly hard, but I was never smacked as a child ... well maybe one or two grams to get me to sleep at night.

Is it fair to say that there'd be less litter in Britain if blind people were given pointed sticks?

A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, "Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?" I said, "All right, but we're not going to get much done."

I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.

My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.

You have to remember all the trivia that your girlfriend tells you, because eventually you get tested. She'll go: "What's my favourite flower?" And you murmur to yourself: "Sh*t, I wasn't listening...Self-raising?"

The world is a dangerous place; only yesterday I went into Boots and punched someone in the face.

Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.

I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was "Shout For Help".

I went out with an Irish Catholic. Very frustrating. You can take the Girl out of Cork ...

Got a phone call today to do a gig at a fire station. Went along. Turned out it was a bloody hoax

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears.

My dad is Irish and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent most of our family holidays in Customs.

Sleeping with prostitutes is like making your cat dance with you on its hind legs. You know it's wrong, but you try to convince yourself that they're enjoying it as well.

A dog goes into a hardware store and says: "I'd like a job please". The hardware store owner says: "We don't hire dogs, why don't you go join the circus?" The dog replies: "What would the circus want with a plumber".

I like to go into the Body Shop and shout out really loud "I've already got one!"

It's easy to distract fat people. It's a piece of cake.

I enjoy using the comedy technique of self-deprecation - but I'm not very good at it.

If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that.

I was walking the streets of Glasgow the other week and I saw this sign: "This door is alarmed." I said to myself: "How do you think I feel?"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

a blond walks in to a sex shop behind the counter was dildos she askes the bloke standing there i am looking for a big big big dildo he replyes yes wee have a lot so he points them out on the back wall the blond is thinking no no no ummmm no her eyes are scaning the row of dildoes she spots 1 at the end she screems thats the one mate thats it he looks down to the end where she is pointing he says i cant see it where she says the big red one he replyes oh thats not a dildo thats a fire extingwisher...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

3 gen of hookers mum daughter granny

mum asked daughter how much you charge for a blow job she says $80 dollers

daughter asked the mom how much in your day she says $25 dollers

mum asked the granny hay how much would you charge for a suck on the dick in your day

granny sayd well well lovies back in my day we were just happy enough to get something warm in our bellys....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
What's the difference between parsley and pussy?

Spats will eat parsley.

:hysterical: THAT "Bot" is still on here????? :hysterical:

Spats have you gotten laid yet??? :hysterical:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...