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Mattmc1973

The Spats Thread

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;) I've been great by the way ! I'm trying not to take it too seriously, I'm focusing on better things. BTW, I PMed* you with an explanation of things, which you don't have to respond to haha :D Edited by MrsRobertPlant

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I agree that Spats seems like he's a good guy deep-down, and a lot of his issues are very real and run very deep. But he's also very often unimaginably thick-headed, stupid, and ridiculous. That's what he catches the most crap about.

Many of us do give him geniune advice, and have for a long time. But it never sinks in, he's as dense and obtuse as ever, and eventually people get frustrated with him and take shots at him to let off steam.

Thanks Matt. Sort of. :blink:

I realize i can be frustrating. My situation is frustrating. My friends in my everyday life get frustrated with me. The buddy that tried to set me up with the girl from New Years and i had a huge argument over that situation. Because he said he was just trying to hook me up with a great girl (in his opinion) and he thought i was treating her badly by not calling her and you know my opinion on all of that. So some of my friends think i am a pain in the ass too. But they can be a pain too. He actually apologized to her for my behavior. :o:o

Edited by spats

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Seriously? :blink::blink::blink:

Yes, seriously.

We wanna know the details of your booty call adventures! :thumbsup:

[you know,.. if there really ever were any, that is. :whistling: ]

-----

oh, btw.. here's a little tip for ya:

If you wanna be smooth about it, you don't say "How far is Sioux Falls from Toronto?".

That's like saying "I'm too lazy to Google this myself, and you aren't really worth the effort anyway, but will you please figure it out and tell me the answer?" You also don't wanna say "How long will it take you to get here?", which implies that she's not important enough for you to go to her, and you expect her to come to you. No, spats, you gotta be more creative, more playful, and.. a wee bit more romantic. What you say is something that conveys that you KNOW how far she is from you and that you will travel that distance, or any distance, to be with her. Something like "Sioux Falls is only 1000 miles or so from Toronto! Start chilling the wine, babe, I can be there in no time!" Or "You're in Sioux Falls? That's only a thousand miles or so from here. Heck, that's nothing; I'd go 10,000 miles to see you! Chill the wine, love, I'm booking my flight!" ..or simply.. "Sioux Falls, here I come!"

:D

Go get her, tiger! :cheer:

:beer:

HERE - Adrian Belew

When the smoke had settled

from the angry flames

that burned away part of my life

then I thought I was standing

on the edge of time

but through the haze

I saw a light

I don't know what it was

I thought I'd find

nothing left under the stars

I swam across the sky

and pushed the clouds aside

to find you there with my heart

I've come a million miles

to be with you

I swam across the sky

here I am

Here...underneath the sun

Here...we're the only ones

Here...

and when I see your face

it lights another day

and all my broken pieces

fall into place

I've come a million miles

to be with you

I swam across the sky

here I am

[its a lovely tune. Hear it *HERE*

note: Belew does all the vocals

and all the instrumental work too.]

Edited by Hermit

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The worst time I ever had in the love life department was trying to get through a devastatingly painfull breakup. I didn't handle it very well for a long time. You said before a couple of times you were "in a slump". That implies that there was a time when things were different or better or both. Maybe there was/is unresolved issues from that last relationship interfering with things now. Is that possible?

You also mentioned somewhere that your parents did not get along well. That might be having an effect. You might want to consider p.m. ing some people you are closer with on these possible issues.

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Thanks Bonnie. :D

How far is Sioux Falls from Toronto? ;)

Why, Spats.....Are you hitting on me?

Even if I did have my passport, I would have no idea who i was looking for when I got there.*cough*

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Thanks Matt. Sort of. :blink:

I realize i can be frustrating. My situation is frustrating. My friends in my everyday life get frustrated with me. The buddy that tried to set me up with the girl from New Years and i had a huge argument over that situation. Because he said he was just trying to hook me up with a great girl (in his opinion) and he thought i was treating her badly by not calling her and you know my opinion on all of that. So some of my friends think i am a pain in the ass too. But they can be a pain too. He actually apologized to her for my behavior. :o:o

There you go again Spats, teasing us with a hint of understanding and acknowledgement. And it's good that your buddy apologized to the New Years girl, at least he gets it.

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I've never really chimed in on spats before, but I have some advice. It may help but probably not. When you meet a girl don't lay out all your problems. We aren't God, so we can't help you with all your problems. Just use small talk.

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I've never really chimed in on spats before, but I have some advice. It may help but probably not. When you meet a girl don't lay out all your problems. We aren't God, so we can't help you with all your problems. Just use small talk.

Hey, not bad! ;)

I concur. Never go into a date with a lack of confidence and/or start talking about how you have failed in the past. I did that ONCE (I was only a dumb kid at the time..LOL)and missed out on one luscious, hot lady. Oh, I don't worry about it now, but back then.... <_<

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Why, Spats.....Are you hitting on me?

Even if I did have my passport, I would have no idea who i was looking for when I got there.*cough*

your move, spats.

don't blow it, buddy!

oops,.. bad choice of words.

make the most of it! :cheer:

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One other word of advice: Don't tell a shick that she's hot. Use words like beautiful, pretty, gorgous. Avoid: smokin', hot, etc. They can sound demeaning.

Edited by lzfan715

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^ It really depends. Since we're all reading a computer screen the words can sound a bit more demeaning than their meant to be.

With that said, yes you're right but if he's speaking it, it might flow right :) [even though when I read "it was so hot" I think of a 14 yr old boy typing with his eyes bulging out :P]

Beautiful is nice, sexy..even better than "hawt" IMO.

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One other word of advice: Don't tell a shick that she's hot. Use words like beautiful, pretty, gorgous. Avoid: smokin', hot, etc. They can sound demeaning.

What's a Shick? :huh:

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There you go again Spats, teasing us with a hint of understanding and acknowledgement. And it's good that your buddy apologized to the New Years girl, at least he gets it.

What should i be sorry for? He should have apologized to her for giving her the impression that I was was going to call her. When i never said such a thing. he said i would without my permission. And after he apologized to her she told him to tell me to give her a call when i grow up. :o

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I've never really chimed in on spats before, but I have some advice. It may help but probably not. When you meet a girl don't lay out all your problems. We aren't God, so we can't help you with all your problems. Just use small talk.

I don't do that with potential girlfriends. It's takes a bit of time before i tell them a lot about myself. And there are some things i don't tell at all.

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Hey, not bad! ;)

I concur. Never go into a date with a lack of confidence and/or start talking about how you have failed in the past. I did that ONCE (I was only a dumb kid at the time..LOL)and missed out on one luscious, hot lady. Oh, I don't worry about it now, but back then.... <_<

How is that any different than me not wanting to get involved with a girl i think is unattractive? Which i have been knocked for.

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One other word of advice: Don't tell a shick that she's hot. Use words like beautiful, pretty, gorgous. Avoid: smokin', hot, etc. They can sound demeaning.

Some female friends have said the same thing. They wouldn't be flattered by being called hot. I mean that in a great way though.

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How is that any different than me not wanting to get involved with a girl i think is unattractive? Which i have been knocked for.

:blink:

You're mixing apples and horse shit, man. :lol:

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What should i be sorry for? He should have apologized to her for giving her the impression that I was was going to call her. When i never said such a thing. he said i would without my permission. And after he apologized to her she told him to tell me to give her a call when i grow up. :o

Your buddy apologized to her because you were

a dick... or an a-hole.. whichever you prefer.

Which do you prefer, spats? :whistling:

Since you haven't grown up yet, I presume you haven't called her, right? :P

Btw,. don't bother telling me why you haven't called her. I don't care.

My 'presumption' was a comment about your incredible immaturity. :rolleyes:

Calvin%20becomes%20a%20teenager.jpg

Btw2.. since you're avoiding telling us about your booty calls, I'm

gonna make another presumption: that they never actually happened.

Edited by Hermit

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:blink:

You're mixing apples and horse shit, man. :lol:

Well why isn't a woman who won't get involved with you because you weren't acting like a alpha male or because you have had some failure in the past any different? "isn't that "shallow"?

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Well why isn't a woman who won't get involved with you because you weren't acting like a alpha male or because you have had some failure in the past any different? "isn't that "shallow"?

You've missed the point AGAIN.

What I'm saying is, don't play your shit cards right off the bat. Give her a chance to get to really know you first. Save the negative shit for after you've established something.

And for that matter, unless it's something major, why bring it up at all?

:rolleyes:

This is like trying to train a dog to go fix breakfast after fetching the morning paper. :lol:

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Your buddy apologized to her because you were

a dick... or an a-hole.. whichever you prefer.

Which do you prefer, spats? :whistling:

Since you haven't grown up yet, I presume you haven't called her, right? :P

Btw,. don't bother telling me why you haven't called her. I don't care.

My 'presumption' was a comment about your incredible immaturity. :rolleyes:

Calvin%20becomes%20a%20teenager.jpg

Btw2.. since you're avoiding telling us about your booty calls, I'm

gonna make another presumption: that they never actually happened.

How was i a d**k or a A-hole?? :blink::blink: I don't agree with that.

Why would i ever call a girl in this lifetime who would insult me like that?

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And after he apologized to her she told him to tell me to give her a call when i grow up. :o

EXACTLY. Good for her.

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What should i be sorry for? He should have apologized to her for giving her the impression that I was was going to call her. When i never said such a thing. he said i would without my permission. And after he apologized to her she told him to tell me to give her a call when i grow up. :o

I hope maybe I can jump in here, Spats. I, like you, am not so good when it comes to women. However, it's not because I expect so much from them. I'm shy... and a good guy, but of the boring type. I'm also not the best looking guy in the world. I don't drink beer at all, but you'd think so if you saw me... :(

However, despite that (and despite my looks) I've had a few girlfriends, and, even though I'm 20, I have learned a bit.

I think there's something you don't quite get when it comes to dating. On the first date, it's all about you. By that, however, I don't mean in that you get to brag about yourself. What I mean is, on the first date, you are the one who has to impress her. Why? Because she's already impressed you. If she hadn't, you would never have gone out with her in the first place. But just because she says yes doesn't necessarily mean she's impressed by you. It means she likes you, and might be attracted to you. But you still have to impress her. You have to make her want to go out with you more than once. It's your job to be kind and courteous.

Does that mean being her waiter and following her every whim? Of course not! What it means is, like others have said, asking her if she needs a refill on her drink (be it water or whatever). That doesn't mean you get it for her. That means you then call the waiter/waitress over and let him/her refill the drink. And it works in your favor because, if you need it, you get your refill then, too. When you walk into the place you're eating (because, unless you two have been friends for a long time and know each other well, your first date HAS to be dinner so you can talk and really get to know each other), hold the door open for her, and if you get a table instead of a booth, pull her chair out for her. This shows her that chivalry isn't dead and that you care about her enough to put her first. This will impress her, even if it seems she's the kind of girl who would be more impressed by heavy drinking, clubs, major parties, etc. Even that girl will be impressed by you holding open the door and pulling her chair out for her.

I'm not saying you need to do all the work and cater to her. Don't. But she's already impressed you. You already like her. The first date is all about getting her to really return those feelings. And if, at the end of the date, you two are lingering at her door (because you better have picked her up and are dropping her off... that's just etiquette), even if you don't kiss... maybe you just hug, or just say good night more than once, then you can relax because it's no longer about impressing her. You've got her. On the second date, just make sure you solidify that great impression, and I guarantee you'll be kissing on her doorstep. And by the 4th or 5th date, she'll invite you into her place. Your next date (5th or 6th) most likely won't be at a restaurant or some movie... it'll probably be a club.

All that comes from my experiences, of course. But the fact is, you have to impress the woman. It isn't just about one-night stands. In today's world, if you wanna get into bed with her, you gotta get in her head, first. If you wanna really get to know her, she's gotta get to know you, first. So, if you want that relationship, you gotta do the work, first. Before she can start doing anything, she's gotta be impressed by you, or else she won't feel the need to do any work because you haven't impressed her.

As far as blind dates, I can't offer much, because I've never been on one. Admittedly, it's because I've never wanted to be on one. The idea of not even knowing what she looks like bothers me. Mainly because I had a friend who had a horrible experience, He went on a blind date, and the girl was apparently just over 300 lbs. Of course, she was one of those "would definitely be stunningly beautiful if she just lost the damn weight," but she never lost the weight because she ate EVERYTHING.

But do you know what my friend did? He didn't bail, because he had manners. They still had their dinner. But it was pretty much agreed by the end that that was as far as they were gonna take it.

Have some courtesy and at least give the girl a chance. You never know... you might find the second impression is quite attractive even if the first impression wasn't that appealing. Either that, or just avoid blind dates from now on and make sure you've at least seen the girl before you have that date. Tell your friends you wanna meet the girl before you go out with her. And tell them not to get her hopes up, either. After the blind date, my friend did exactly that.

So, myself and my grilfriend set him up with his current girlfriend by setting up a little dart night at a place in Marietta, GA called Mazzy's. I invited him and a few other friends, and my girlfriend invited the girl and some other friends of her own. Among the whole group (about fifteen people in all), only myself and my girlfriend actually knew about setting up my friend and this girl. We hadn't even told them about each other. The two of us set it up, however, that they would have to talk to each other. By the end of the night he had asked her out, and now, one month later, the two can barely be seperated. And over the whole night, an entire group of us had a lot of fun in the process. Oh, the two of then know now that the night was a set up, but they think it's funny.

So you see, in that case, If you don't like her, there's no need to bail. Why? As far as the two of you know, you're just there hanging out with friends, eating some good food (maybe wings), and just having a good time. Whether or not you two hit it off really doesn't matter. If you do, well then a good night turns out awesome. If you don't, no big loss. Besides, it also allows for you to still have fun without spending money on something that won't go anywhere because you're just spending money on your drink and/or food and having a good time with friends... and you and the girl could possibly still become friends.

So it works out.

Hopefully my advice helped, even if it is limited considering I'm only 20.

There is one other comment I have to make. You don't like oral? To me that's like saying you don't like to breathe air. But, to each their own, right? ;)

Good luck, Spats. :)

P.S.- In making that phone call and saying what he did, your friend was actually quite right. I mean no offense by saying it, but you were way in the wrong there, Spats. And this girl was justified in think you need to grow up. I'm not saying you do, but that's the impression you left. Now before you respond defending yourself, really think about it. Go over those events, think about what you believe, and think about what I said above. Maybe you'll realize your friend was right and that girl said what she did because that was her impression of you. Realistically, you do owe her an apology. Why? Because what you did was rude. Always be courteous. Always give it a chance. Believe me. If it just doesn't work for you, the girl will be understanding. I promise. You just have to be honest (without being brutal... be honest without insulting her...) instead of bailing out. :)

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