Nathan Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 I treated her good but i wasn't a "traditional boyfriend" in her eyes. It was complicated. The final straw was when she wanted to do a "show off the boyfriend" night. I had not met most of her friends and felt i was being put on display or auditioning for her friends to see if i would be accepted i guess. And i wouldn't go. I would have been the only one who didn't know anyone there. Except her.I didn't like the whole setup. You should have gone. A girl with a new boyfriend will always want to show you off to her friends. It has NOTHING to do with auditioning you. She's excited she's found someone she likes and she wants to share that excitement with her friends. And guess what. She actually expects you to do the same with her to your friends. She expects you to show her off to your buds. Why? Because she hopes you feel the same way about her. It's got absolutely NOTHING to do with testing you or putting you on display or auditioning. Because believe me... if she really likes you, she isn't gonna care whether or not her friends like you, too. And she won't care if you don't like her friends. And she hopes you won't care if your friends don't like her or she doesn't like your friends. It's literally just a way to say "this is why I'm so happy." She's sharing her happiness with her friends. Now, they may be testing you, but that's completely independant of what the girlfriend herself wanted. You should have considered that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Bomber Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 Oh my god,she was right,you are not a normal boyfriend,you won't even be nice to the girl,it's pretty basic,just do that,ok?Keep us posted with the results,i'm just waiting for you to crack up from lack of sex and start taking our advicewhen you do,you'll be happier forit. "Anyone can get laid,it's just a matter of lowering your standards enough." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Bonnie~ Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 The thought of being with and older woman has never been that appealing. I am glad you have a found the woman for you even if i don't agree with the pedestal thing. But you are a different age range as me. Aren't you? Why not? I love older guys! In fact, I prefer dating guys that are older than me...someone who's got a few years on you is a good thing. For one, they've usually got their stuff together, and for two, they're more likely to appreciate the relationship. And that second reason is pretty important, at least to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
songbird Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 This is pretty much the most active thread on the board. How sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Action Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 The thought of being with and older woman has never been that appealing. I am glad you have a found the woman for you even if i don't agree with the pedestal thing. But you are a different age range as me. Aren't you? Yeah, but so what? I had manners and treated women properly when I was in my teens too. Sure, you get shattered, splattered and shit all over now and then. But that's part of the learning curve. You're old enough, deal with it FFS!!! Be a man and you'll find the right woman. Or be a boy and wear out your palms. It's your choice. I honestly thought you were MAYBE 20 years old, max. Dude-and I mean this respectfully- GET COUNSELING. You're way behind the curve at your age. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermit Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 Ok, spats, Since you've chosen to ignore my post about your "ex's",.. I take it that means that you've never actually been in a relationship that's lasted for any significant duration of time. And I take it that means your attitudes, behaviors, and beliefs about relationships and about women have not changed, matured, or evolved in any way over time. That fair enough to say? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Action Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 This is pretty much the most active thread on the board. How sad. Well, if Robert would OK a reunion tour....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
songbird Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 Well, if Robert would OK a reunion tour....... Looks like Spats is going to be the star of the board for a loooong time then... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Action Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 Looks like Spats is going to be the star of the board for a loooong time then... Yeah, we're hosed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 Yeah, but so what? I had manners and treated women properly when I was in my teens too. Sure, you get shattered, splattered and shit all over now and then. But that's part of the learning curve. You're old enough, deal with it FFS!!! Be a man and you'll find the right woman. Or be a boy and wear out your palms. It's your choice. I honestly thought you were MAYBE 20 years old, max. Dude-and I mean this respectfully- GET COUNSELING. You're way behind the curve at your age. I told you I have been around and had my share of girlfriends and a pretty bad for the most part teen years. I thought it was obvious. Be a man and you'll find the right woman how? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 Ok, spats, Since you've chosen to ignore my post about your "ex's",.. I take it that means that you've never actually been in a relationship that's lasted for any significant duration of time. And I take it that means your attitudes, behaviors, and beliefs about relationships and about women have not changed, matured, or evolved in any way over time. That fair enough to say? The longest was a year and a half. Quite few 6 month ones give or take a month, etc. They usually had a certain shelf life and then things fizzled for various reasons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 For fuck's sake, where is Electrophile. Spats, the whole chair pulling, door opening thing? When I was a kid in the 70's I was taught that was insulting/demeaning. Guess what? We still like it anyway! Know why? It's cute! Here's the simple explanation: Big hairy person= possible threat. Big hairy person does nice thing for small non- hairy person= AWWWWWWW The eventual result of this gentlemanly behavior= more ASS! And you won't have to work as hard for it. Now BE NICE. That usually hasn't been the result when i have done it back in the day. My female friends have always said while watching my relationships or lack of them or me with potential girlfriends, etc,.. "just be a sweetheart" and i will have no problems. But i was conditioned through experience that it doesn't work that way. I just wish things were less complicated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermit Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 The longest was a year and a half. Quite few 6 month ones give or take a month, etc. They usually had a certain shelf life and then things fizzled for various reasons. Thanks for responding. How have your attitudes and beliefs about women and relationships changed, evolved, grown, or matured over time as a result of your experiences? Do you feel you've grown and matured? If so, how so? I do tease with you at times, friend, but I assure you, my questions here are 100% sincere and genuine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wanna be drummer Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 That usually hasn't been the result when i have done it back in the day. My female friends have always said while watching my relationships or lack of them or me with potential girlfriends, etc,.. "just be a sweetheart" and i will have no problems. But i was conditioned through experience that it doesn't work that way. I just wish things were less complicated. Things are not complicated. You are. Again spats, you're belief is that these actions are necessary. They are not. They are extra credit. The more extra credit you get, the more ass you get Get it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 Thanks for responding. How have your attitudes and beliefs about women and relationships changed, evolved, grown, or matured over time as a result of your experiences? Do you feel you've grown and matured? If so, how so? I do tease with you at times, friend, but I assure you, my questions here are 100% sincere and genuine. I think i discover more things i don't like and won't tolerate. But 5 years ago i wouldn't have considered going out with the New years girl because she wasn't drop dead beautiful. She was plain/cute and i would have gone out with her if she... you know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattmc1973 Posted March 19, 2008 Author Share Posted March 19, 2008 So from a maturity standpoint, you've gone from 12, to maybe 15 years old. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wanna be drummer Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 So from a maturity standpoint, you've gone from 12, to maybe 15 years old. I find this insulting Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermit Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 I think i discover more things i don't like and won't tolerate. But 5 years ago i wouldn't have considered going out with the New years girl because she wasn't drop dead beautiful. She was plain/cute and i would have gone out with her if she... you know. Thanks for the response, spats. You seem to be saying that you feel you've matured with regard to the fact that you're now willing to consider dating someone who's not "drop dead beautiful" whereas before (5 yrs ago) you wouldn't have been willing. In other words, you're saying that a woman's looks is not the main thing you evaluate about a woman when you're considering dating her. Is that fair to say? If so,.. that would be a sign of maturation. If, that is, that was actually the case. But ask yourself: "Is that really the case? Am I being truthful with myself when I say that? Or is a woman's looks still the first and most important thing that I evaluate when considering if I might want to date her?" If you've really matured in that way,.. as opposed to simply seeing yourself as having matured in that way.. why do you constantly express in this thread your desire for a "hottie"? The frequency with you indicate that you are still focused on going out with a "hottie" seems to suggest that you haven't actually matured in the way you'd like to think you have. The infrequency (never) with which you cite other qualities you look for in a woman (like intelligence, sense of humor, kindness, compassion, adventuresome spirit,..or whatever) also seems to suggest that you haven't actually matured in the way you'd like to think you have. You might wanna give that some thought, bud. Be honest with yourself, dude. Admitting your flaws and shortcomings is crucial if you really want to grow and mature. As long as you continue to deceive yourself, you're not going to actually grow and mature. Here's a suggestion; do with it what you will. You might wanna start to examine more realistically (and honestly) what it really is that you want in a girlfriend/partner. Nobody with eyesight is completely oblivious to the physical appearance of others, but people with some degree of maturity recognize that "looks" are only skin deep and that there are so many other things about a person that are so much more important than physical appearance. People with maturity recognize that "attractiveness" is about much more than mere physical looks. So,.. what do you really want in a woman, spats? You can get clear about that by prioritizing and then re-prioritizing what is you're looking for in a woman. I suggest you keep re-prioritizing until "looks" is no longer in the top 5 qualities you're looking for. If you can accomplish that much.. even if just on paper (but hopefully eventually in your heart too),.. you will have started the process of maturing into a more-healthy adult. Ya gotta start somewhere, muh-man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wanna be drummer Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 Hermit, you devote too much time to save the already damned. Just kidding, but seriously, you devote too much time to...actually trying to help people who everyone dumps on Momma says that makes Hermit the Devil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Action Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 I told you I have been around and had my share of girlfriends and a pretty bad for the most part teen years. I thought it was obvious. Be a man and you'll find the right woman how? If I have to explain, you'll never understand. Sounds cliche', but it's true. PLUS THE FACT THAT I'VE ALREADY OUTLINED IT TO YOU A THOUSAND TIMES. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattmc1973 Posted March 19, 2008 Author Share Posted March 19, 2008 If I have to explain, you'll never understand. Sounds cliche', but it's true. PLUS THE FACT THAT I'VE ALREADY OUTLINED IT TO YOU A THOUSAND TIMES. Everyone has Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenderguy Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 Thanks for the response, spats. If you've really matured in that way,.. as opposed to simply seeing yourself as having matured in that way.. why do you constantly express in this thread your desire for a "hottie"? So,.. what do you really want in a woman, spats? You can get clear about that by prioritizing and then re-prioritizing what is you're looking for in a woman. I suggest you keep re-prioritizing until "looks" is no longer in the top 5 qualities you're looking for. If you can accomplish that much.. even if just on paper (but hopefully eventually in your heart too),.. you will have started the process of maturing into a more-healthy adult. Ya gotta start somewhere, muh-man. You are really going all out on this..............I hope it helps. If not we will posting on this thread until Plant announces he is rejoining Led Zeppelin. I don't know how much more of this thread I can take!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Electrophile Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 Sorry Suz....I was at work. At this point, we all should chip in for airfare, fly to Toronto, kidnap Spats, force him to fuck a hooker and then take turns whacking him in the balls with a frozen trout. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattmc1973 Posted March 19, 2008 Author Share Posted March 19, 2008 It's not nice to hit mentally challenged people in the balls with frozen trout. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Action Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 It's not nice to hit mentally challenged people in the balls with frozen trout. Agreed. That's a terrible waste of delicious food. Trout is wonderful fried or grilled. Let's use a carp instead. They're worthless as food, and much heavier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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