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The Spats Thread


Mattmc1973

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No it's not. We all want things spats. It's a sign that the significant other cares about us. If my girlfriend showed up on our one-year anniversary with ntohing after I bought her a diamond ring (not engagement mind you) I'd be pissed off, as would she, as would you, as would everyone on this rock.

It's a sign of appreciation. Of Gratitude for being with us.

And you never answered my question, Is it shallow and lustful to care about physical attraction above and beyond every other quality out there? I don't care what people tell you, I want what you think.

I was saying this before. If i didn't get anything in return for a gift i gave i would be pissed. And i was knocked for it. :o

But isn't a woman wanting a diamond ring shallow? I wouldn't be buying any woman that.

No i don't think it is shallow to care about looks. Most need to looks to be physically attracted to someone. I care about other things other than looks. But i have to think they are pretty.

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There is absolutely no getting through to you. What YOU think is cool is not what many girls think is cool. MEN AND WOMAN ARE DIFFERENT. They don't think like you (THANK GOD).

God you're a fucktard.

I agree we don't think the same things are cool. Most of the time. But there are girls out there that don't need to be treated like a princess.

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I was saying this before. If i didn't get anything in return for a gift i gave i would be pissed. And i was knocked for it. :o

But isn't a woman wanting a diamond ring shallow? I wouldn't be buying any woman that.

Is you wanting sex shallow? Girls like diamonds. Girls like men caring for them. A diamond ring shows the woman that the guy cares. It's a token of love. It's a symbol of the beauty of relationship and what it can be. It's no more shallow that wanting a girl to say "I love you" back.

No i don't think it is shallow to care about looks. Most need to looks to be physically attracted to someone. I care about other things other than looks. But i have to think they are pretty.

True, physical attraction is indeed a quality we all seek. However, when you place it at the top of the list much higher than anything else, that's when it becomes shallow.

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But why the gifts? I just am saying that isn't wanting gifts shallow and materialistic?

You have no credibility... NONE.. when it comes to questioning other peoples' shallowness.

You're as shallow as they come, dude. They don't get no shallower.

:rolleyes:

[i've altered the following a bit.. to make it more pertinent to the situation at hand]

This story owes much to a superficial, wannabe womanizer male who is desperately trying to get a date but is only interested in the women he thinks are the most beautiful.. "hotties" he likes to call them. The spats, even moreso than so many shallow men today, reduces women to nothing but a slim figure, a lively bust, and a pretty face. But the story of Esther makes it clear that the would-be catch of all catches was chosen by a man not for her looks, but because she "found grace and favor" in the eyes of all who beheld her.

There was a womanly dignity – a sublime feminine majesty – to Esther that all the women the spats was interested in lacked. They were empty suits, packaging only, without substance or personality. They were the kind of women who attract attention with low-cut blouses rather than high intelligence, short skirts rather than a lofty spirit. But Esther was a woman possessed both of outer and inner beauty, a heroine who exhibited uncommon wisdom, courage, and dedication to the helpless. In short, she was a woman of outstanding character and her story is not just that of the triumph of the human spirit, but also of a woman's ability to win over a man (one almost as shallow as the spats) with her brains rather than her bust.

I once served as Matchmaker-in-Chief for the spats, but I now find matchmaking nauseating thanks to the dispiriting superficiality of the spats. I now know that no matter how many countless times he tells me how desperate he is to find a really nice girl, he's absolutely lying through his teeth because all he really wants is a woman who looks like a model.

At my weekly roundtable, where I hosted many singles, I watched the spats immediately dismiss even the most interesting women with the warmest hearts if they lack a bombshell body. If she's short, she's out, and if she's overweight, well, that's the kiss of death. I'd set the spats up on blind dates with women who I knew to be attractive and charming, only to have him call me back the next day and complain of a lack of chemistry, by which he always means: 'She wasn't attractive enough, so I left her standing there and I walked away'. One time the woman walked right up to him and asked "Are you the spats, my date?". He later told me "I saw her walking toward me and my gut just told me it was never going to work". So what did he do? He lied to her. He told her he wasn't him. The poor woman never had a chance. Before she opened her mouth, her body did her in. Have you ever heard of such shallowness, selfishness, immaturity, and cruelty? It made me sick. I was so embarrassed about it that I had to make up a story for why he 'couldn't make it' for the date. God, I felt dirty after that.

But why would I expect anything different from the spats, right? Superficial people seek superficial qualities, and the spats is about as deep as a crack in the sidewalk. Even if he was a guy who had money, he'd use that money merely as a commodity to purchase women by the hour so he could later tell his other buddies about their physical beauty.

While physical attraction is important in relationships – both for men and for women – we must do what we can to teach the spatses of the world to judge a woman's attractiveness by considerations other than flesh alone. For if we fail in our endeavor to enlighten those shallow men like the spats, we'll continue see the perpetuation of the tragedy that is women feeling insecure about an imperfect body rather than taking pride in their generosity of spirit.

This, friends,.. is why we're 60 pages into this spats project. We do it not for the spats, oh no,.. we do it for the women.. for the Esther's.. who deserve better. We do it in the hopes that someday the spats will amount to more than a mere crack in the sidewalk. I know, I know.. he gives us little to hope for. He doesn't seem to catch on,.. ever.. that's for sure. But we mustn't give up! The spats gives men everywhere a bad reputation, and makes women cringe and wretch, the poor dears. We must fix the spats. We must!

:cheer:

:beer:

[original source: *Shallow men and the women who suffer*]

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Paging Rock Action, Hermit or Matt. Deal with this kid, I am getting an ulcer.

"Here I come to save the daaaay!!!!"2005_08_09_mightymouse.jpg

:lol: I know what ya mean, Suz.

Men are from Mars, women from Venus

Ladies have boobs, men have a penis

Women and men do not think alike

Unless the said women happens to be a...uh, never mind.

:shifty:

(I'm going straight to hell for that one...)

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You have no credibility... NONE.. when it comes to questioning other peoples' shallowness...............................................while physical attraction is important in relationships – both for men and for women – we must do what we can to teach the spatses of the world to judge a woman's attractiveness by considerations other than flesh alone. For if we fail in our endeavor to enlighten those shallow men like the spats, we'll continue see the perpetuation of the tragedy that is women feeling insecure about an imperfect body rather than taking pride in their generosity of spirit........................

This, friends,.. is why we're 60 pages into this spats project. ......................................................................... But we mustn't give up!

That was quite a long but insighful read. Do you really know him personally or was that some kind of figure of speech? What would you do if he asked you to set him up again? Is this totally for real?

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"This, friends,.. is why we're 60 pages into this spats project. ......................................................................... But we mustn't give up!"

60 pages----my God it seems like not long ago it was only 45 pages! Who's up for 100 pages??

Yay! Rah Rah!

:cheer::cheer::computertrash::ph34r:

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I was saying this before. If i didn't get anything in return for a gift i gave i would be pissed. And i was knocked for it. :o

But isn't a woman wanting a diamond ring shallow? I wouldn't be buying any woman that.

No i don't think it is shallow to care about looks. Most need to looks to be physically attracted to someone. I care about other things other than looks. But i have to think they are pretty.

I've given gifts to people, and not gotten anything in return before...And while it IS dissappointing to think you don't mean as much to them as they mean to you, you can't get angry over it. After all, it is called a GIFT, not a TRADE.

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That was quite a long but insighful read. Do you really know him personally or was that some kind of figure of speech? What would you do if he asked you to set him up again? Is this totally for real?

:lol:

The events depicted therein are not real, but were based on true events. Kinda.

One name was changed to protect the innocent, and one to expose the guilty.

I other words, I took creative liberty with an existing blog article. ;)

..the source citation/link is at the bottom of the post.

It does a good job of depicting the shallowness of the spats though,.. huh?

^_^

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If spats puts good looks as a top priority, there's nothing wrong with that. We all prioritize and have different expectations and qualifications.

Shoot first, ask questions later

The physical attraction is ALWAYS going to be the first thing to go on when meeting someone in person face to face. You'll get to know the mind in time, but the tomfoolery can start instantly.

Go ahead and beat around the bush. Leave the studying for later.

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^^

you recognize the difference between 'initial attraction based on physical appearance'

and a pathological inability to see anything but physical appearance.. don't you?

If so, then you might also recognize that you do spats no favors

at all by reinforcing his pathologically immature superficiality. <_<

If not,.. then methinks you might be spats II. :whistling:

:watchingyou:

:P

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I see a big problem here: it's the concept of physical attraction, which shouldn't be complicated. But we live in a world where natural beauty is ignored for plastic cartoon imagery. We all know that men go for the boobs and butts first, that's no suprise. But in my experience, it's not the men who are so superficial about exact size/proportion, etc. It's the women themsleves. We buy into the dumbed down (yet idealized) image of ourselves as women that is relentlessly shoved down our throats, everywhere we look. We are doing it to ourselves, and encouraging shallow men like Spats to be, well, shallow. Attraction is a natural chemistry between two people. It involves the whole package, and people mature enough to recognize it. Clubs are the last place on earth to find someone. They are where you drink, dance, go home and get laid. Kids playing games. If that's what you want, keep going to the clubs! If you want a decent girlfriend, stop being a putz and pursue your interests, as an individual. When you do that, the right people will come into your life and you won't have tp play all these stupid games with yourself, and with women.

But of course, you will, anyway.

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I want to add that, also in my experience, men prefer a confident woman as much as women prefer a confident man. I doubt if many of your "hotties" at the club are necessarily the most confident women in the world. And we KNOW you are not a confident man. You are only going to attract the women you fear: users. It's the same for women with men. I have had friends in those use-or-be-used relationships, and it looks like hell on earth to me. Grow up. For the love of all that is sacred, take care of your own shit first.

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Is you wanting sex shallow? Girls like diamonds. Girls like men caring for them. A diamond ring shows the woman that the guy cares. It's a token of love. It's a symbol of the beauty of relationship and what it can be. It's no more shallow that wanting a girl to say "I love you" back.

True, physical attraction is indeed a quality we all seek. However, when you place it at the top of the list much higher than anything else, that's when it becomes shallow.

No, wanting sex is not shallow. But diamonds cost money. If a woman needs a diamond to realize that a man cares that's shallow in my mind. And if she really wants one maybe she should pitch in for some of the payments. You rarely see women spend that much on a man.

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I see a big problem here: it's the concept of physical attraction, which shouldn't be complicated. But we live in a world where natural beauty is ignored for plastic cartoon imagery. We all know that men go for the boobs and butts first, that's no suprise. But in my experience, it's not the men who are so superficial about exact size/proportion, etc. It's the women themsleves. We buy into the dumbed down (yet idealized) image of ourselves as women that is relentlessly shoved down our throats, everywhere we look. We are doing it to ourselves, and encouraging shallow men like Spats to be, well, shallow. Attraction is a natural chemistry between two people. It involves the whole package, and people mature enough to recognize it. Clubs are the last place on earth to find someone. They are where you drink, dance, go home and get laid. Kids playing games. If that's what you want, keep going to the clubs! If you want a decent girlfriend, stop being a putz and pursue your interests, as an individual. When you do that, the right people will come into your life and you won't have tp play all these stupid games with yourself, and with women.

But of course, you will, anyway.

You make a perfectly valid point, Suz. But there's also the fact that different people are attracted to different things. We're talking physically, here, so I'll stick with that. If the woman's 5'8" but 300 lbs, they aren't pretty to me. At the same time, if she's 5'8" but only 90 lbs, that's just too skinny. I like the athletic type.

Part of the reason that whole supermodel ideal is shoved down throats on TV and such is because today most guys like a women who is fit. And the reason is legit, IMO. You may disagree, but, to me, a flat stomach (flat, not concave) is a turn on, whereas a protruding stomach is a turn-off to just plain disgusting, depending on how far out it protrudes.

We can't expect spats to put physical attraction so far down the list that he shouldn't care if the girl's grotesquely overweight. Even I couldn't do that. In fact, I do believe having physical attraction being in the top 5 or 6 (but with 4 or 5 more qualities leading it) is natural, simply because, in a lot of cases, anyways (this does not count if you've been friends for a long time, first), how you look is the first thing people notice. And if you're grotesquely overweight, inner beauty just doesn't matter all that much. It is a SAD truth, but a truth nevertheless, because physical attraction is an important part of all that.

Now, having said all that, the fact that spats puts it as his first and foremost is shallow, unless he can understand that a hottie who's a bitch and/or a golddigger is no hottie.

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You make a perfectly valid point, Suz. But there's also the fact that different people are attracted to different things. We're talking physically, here, so I'll stick with that. If the woman's 5'8" but 300 lbs, they aren't pretty to me. At the same time, if she's 5'8" but only 90 lbs, that's just too skinny. I like the athletic type.

Part of the reason that whole supermodel ideal is shoved down throats on TV and such is because today most guys like a women who is fit. And the reason is legit, IMO. You may disagree, but, to me, a flat stomach (flat, not concave) is a turn on, whereas a protruding stomach is a turn-off to just plain disgusting, depending on how far out it protrudes.

We can't expect spats to put physical attraction so far down the list that he shouldn't care if the girl's grotesquely overweight. Even I couldn't do that. In fact, I do believe having physical attraction being in the top 5 or 6 (but with 4 or 5 more qualities leading it) is natural, simply because, in a lot of cases, anyways (this does not count if you've been friends for a long time, first), how you look is the first thing people notice. And if you're grotesquely overweight, inner beauty just doesn't matter all that much. It is a SAD truth, but a truth nevertheless, because physical attraction is an important part of all that.

Now, having said all that, the fact that spats puts it as his first and foremost is shallow, unless he can understand that a hottie who's a bitch and/or a golddigger is no hottie.

For Pete's sake, I'm not saying you should date someone you find physically repulsive. But think for a minute if women applied the same standards to men. No one would get laid. What I'm saying is all we have to do is know ourselves and trust ourselves and we won't have to deal with this bullshit. If he's that worried about being taken for a ride, he will be.

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^^

you recognize the difference between 'initial attraction based on physical appearance'

and a pathological inability to see anything but physical appearance.. don't you?

If so, then you might also recognize that you do spats no favors

at all by reinforcing his pathologically immature superficiality. <_<

If not,.. then methinks you might be spats II. :whistling:

:watchingyou:

:P

Dude, i would have gone out with the girl from New years even though she wasn't "hot".

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For Pete's sake, I'm not saying you should date someone you find physically repulsive. But think for a minute if women applied the same standards to men. No one would get laid. What I'm saying is all we have to do is know ourselves and trust ourselves and we won't have to deal with this bullshit. If he's that worried about being taken for a ride, he will be.

Yes, I know that. I was just trying to level it out, is all. I understood what you meant perfectly. :)

Dude, i would have gone out with the girl from New years even though she wasn't "hot".

That isn't the point, Spats... but I'll let someone else repeat the point for the billionth time.

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I see a big problem here: it's the concept of physical attraction, which shouldn't be complicated. But we live in a world where natural beauty is ignored for plastic cartoon imagery. We all know that men go for the boobs and butts first, that's no suprise. But in my experience, it's not the men who are so superficial about exact size/proportion, etc. It's the women themsleves. We buy into the dumbed down (yet idealized) image of ourselves as women that is relentlessly shoved down our throats, everywhere we look. We are doing it to ourselves, and encouraging shallow men like Spats to be, well, shallow. Attraction is a natural chemistry between two people. It involves the whole package, and people mature enough to recognize it. Clubs are the last place on earth to find someone. They are where you drink, dance, go home and get laid. Kids playing games. If that's what you want, keep going to the clubs! If you want a decent girlfriend, stop being a putz and pursue your interests, as an individual. When you do that, the right people will come into your life and you won't have tp play all these stupid games with yourself, and with women.

But of course, you will, anyway.

I agree about clubs now. I have almost had my fill of them. Unless you look like Johnny Depp meaning the looks that instantly attract women the cards are stacked against ya at clubs. And in the recent past when i have been apporache in clubs it's by women i have no interest in.

Where else do you go on a Saturday night to meet pretty women? Please don't say the Grocery Store. :o

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