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The Spats Thread


Mattmc1973

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Which is exactly why I asked my boyfriend if he's been trolling ledzeppelin.com.

Spats sometimes sounds like an extremely exaggerated version of my boyfriend, with the "I will only go to movies I want to see," and "I don't like weddings, so she can go by herself," and other crap, LOL.

And what ends up happening?

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Thank God I didn't have that issue. I moved in with my boyfriend after three years, and while I was worried about whether it was going to work, I knew he wouldn't boot my ass.

Did you move in to his place or did you get a place together. If you moved in together then he couldn't just tell you to leave. It was luckily my place so i was able to ask her to leave. If we had got a place together then it would have been a problem. I am so glad i kept my place.

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Hey thanks for the vote of confidence....

For the record, I really don't know how I became "Spats-counselor Extrordinaire"??

I like your advice bonnie because it's realistic and not black and white. And you don't put all the responsibility on me. I appreciate it. :D

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Ding, ding, ding, ding. We have a winner.

Dear Sweet baby Jesus, is this thread still going? 75 pages of talking about Spats...I don't think even members of Led Zeppelin get talked about as much on this forum...

Although it's cute how Spats only posts in his own thread

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Ding, ding, ding, ding. We have a winner.

What do you mean?

I want them to be cool and easygoing. Only guys can be that? I want them to be independant and not needy or into drama. Only guys can be like that?

I don't want a girl that needs a guy to wait on them or treat them like a princess or women who dream about romance, flowers and weddings. That's too much to ask? Come on. I can give women more credit that that.

The things i want in a woman are not things that only a guy can be. That doesn't make any sense.

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That was not the only reason. She wanted that as a new routine that we were to do every night. That was just one of the ways she was trying to change my life and the way i did things. Just because you live with someone does not mean you have to turn your world upside down.

Deary, if you gonna live with someone, you have to live in partnership with them...

You can't say to a chick "yeah move in, but I'm just gonna carry on like you're just renting a room"...

No wonder it didn't work out.

There's no hope for you Spats because you find ways to reject them once you've got them or behave in ways which make them reject you...

No one will ever take you 'just as you are' in a relationship. You have to change yourself to some degree, and so does the other person, relationships are about finding the middle ground between the two of you.

You're not rich or famous enough to have people love you for your eccentricities and to be in a one-sided relationship...

You're where you are in life because that's where you're the happiest or most comfortable. You like being single, but also enjoy the melancholy of being lonely.

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Deary, if you gonna live with someone, you have to live in partnership with them...

You can't say to a chick "yeah move in, but I'm just gonna carry on like you're just renting a room"...

No wonder it didn't work out.

There's no hope for you Spats because you find ways to reject them once you've got them or behave in ways which make them reject you...

No one will ever take you 'just as you are' in a relationship. You have to change yourself to some degree, and so does the other person, relationships are about finding the middle ground between the two of you.

You're not rich or famous enough to have people love you for your eccentricities and to be in a one-sided relationship...

You're where you are in life because that's where you're the happiest or most comfortable. You like being single, but also enjoy the melancholy of being lonely.

But if a woman won't let you be who you are doesn't that mean she is the wrong one for you. If you can't be yourself then that isn't much of a life to lead. I have never tried to change any woman i was with.

I am not at my happiest or most comfortable at all. Who would actually like to be lonely? :o

There is nothing wrong with someone moving in with you and trying to start up new rules and routines for you? No one thinks that wrong???

I think if it's your place then they shouldn't be doing that. Now if i had moved into her place and she said this is how she does things around there i wouldn't try and change her world all around. if she wanted to that's fine but if she didn't i wouldn't push her.

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I may be slightly Spats-ly on this, but I like my alone time. It's kinda annoying to be around someone who worships you all the time. I know I'm "bad", and I'm not the most beautiful girl-not that I'm ugly, but there are lots more attractive than me-so it's kinda annoying to be told how great I am. It's just like, "Aaaahhh, Go HOME! I will see you next weekend."

There need to be more women with your attitude. THIS is a cool atiitude. No princess attitude.:D

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Spats, I'm really going to try and be "real" or "black and white". Not every girl is princess-y. I don't want someone who follows me and fawns over me. I am very independent and don't need a guy's help for everything. I like to have time to me when I don't need or want anyone around me. I have my own life, just like everyone else does. Not every girl is like that. Maybe instead of meeting girls at clubs, you should try a more laid back place. Like the park, or at a music store, but somewhere else. Look for girls who don't look high maintence. Or high dollar. Just look for those who aren't loaded up with make up or designer clothes. (Not that all girls who wear that stuff are)

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There is nothing wrong with someone moving in with you and trying to start up new rules and routines for you? No one thinks that wrong???

I think if it's your place then they shouldn't be doing that. Now if i had moved into her place and she said this is how she does things around there i wouldn't try and change her world all around. if she wanted to that's fine but if she didn't i wouldn't push her.

If, for arguments sake, we were in a relationmship and I moved into your place, and you said to me "right, this is how things are done around here..." I'd be packing my bags to move out again straight away, because it wouldn't be a proper relationship if someone moved into your house and were told that this is what the deal is, and you would be displaying an attitude of "I call the shots around here" which is not what you do in a relationship.

How the hell do you expect to be in a relationship but still live like you're single?

I think it's a bit arrogant, actually, because you know exactly what you what, but you don't seem too concerned about what she wants.

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Spats, I'm really going to try and be "real" or "black and white". Not every girl is princess-y. I don't want someone who follows me and fawns over me. I am very independent and don't need a guy's help for everything. I like to have time to me when I don't need or want anyone around me. I have my own life, just like everyone else does. Not every girl is like that. Maybe instead of meeting girls at clubs, you should try a more laid back place. Like the park, or at a music store, but somewhere else. Look for girls who don't look high maintence. Or high dollar. Just look for those who aren't loaded up with make up or designer clothes. (Not that all girls who wear that stuff are)

That's good that you have a cool attitude as well.

Well it's hard to find a girl who doesn't have a princess mentality. Wanting doors opened, chairs pulled out and glasses full is that attitude. And i am amazed there are guys here that support that atitude. You would think they would want to stay away from it. The whole "do anything she wants" attitude. If she wants to eat at the dinner table at a certain time every single night then do it. Blah,Blah, Blah, Puke. A guy actually thinking that is incredible. If you are doing whatever it is they want then you aren't doing anything you want.

For the last couple weekends i have stayed away from the clubs. But i don't really know what else to do on a friday and saturday night other than go to the movies. But you are right on. Clubs really aren't the answer. The hottest women go to the clubs but it so depends on instant attraction at those places that it makes it tougher. I don't think the park or a music store is the answer though. I just don't see people walking up to strangers at those places. Toronto is a pretty aloof city.

Thanks for the advice. :D

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If, for arguments sake, we were in a relationmship and I moved into your place, and you said to me "right, this is how things are done around here..." I'd be packing my bags to move out again straight away, because it wouldn't be a proper relationship if someone moved into your house and were told that this is what the deal is, and you would be displaying an attitude of "I call the shots around here" which is not what you do in a relationship.

How the hell do you expect to be in a relationship but still live like you're single?

I think it's a bit arrogant, actually, because you know exactly what you what, but you don't seem too concerned about what she wants.

Well i would never say it that way. And i didn't say that to her. But you would think that a girl with a brain would be able to figure it out that she could not move into a guy's apartment, take over and try to change the way he does things. She should respect his space or whatever you want to call it. Now if it was her apartment that's different. Or if the guy and girl got the place together that would be different. Although, trying to make rules about when you eat dinner and where you eat it is whacked if you ask me. I don't see how people could defend that. Especially a guy. I don't understand how a guy could have the attitude that you should do whatever she wants. What i want does not matter, it's all about what she wants. How can a guy think like that? I was knocked for not wanting to eat at the dinner table every night. That it was wrong for me to want to eat in front of the tv like i always do. It does not matter what i want , it's all about what she wants? That's nuts. It's wrong when it guy is making all the sacrifices and she isn't. If i am wrong for not wanting to eat at the dinner table every night. Then how come she is not wrong for not wanting me to eat in front of the tv every night. Whye is one person wrong and the other person is right. Why is she not wrong too?

You are right, i do know what i want, but it does matter what she wants. But that does not mean i just give in to whatever she wants. And it think trying to start new routines and rules is dumb. Especially like making sure we eat at the dinner table every night at dinner time. I think that's silly. Then she got a little upset because a buddy wanted to go out somewhere and she wanted me to stay home because it was our first night in the apartment together. And she thought we should spend it at home together! :o

If it had gone on much longer then i think it would have been like some of my buddies relationships where she would want me home by a certain time, etc.

It's not that i wanted to be still have a single life while living with a girlfriend i just didn't want rules placed on me. That stuff is not needed. You can live together and not have that.

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My question is...do you really think you're right spats?

99.9999999% of the world agrees with what everyone here i saying...then theres you...

Do you think your views are going to make you happy?

What specifically are you asking if i think i am right on? Everything?

I think there are people that agree with me on a lot of things. So am i really that outnumbered. I have got messaged from some people here that agree with me but don't want it publically known.

You are asking good questions. I will have to think about it.The most important thing is that i am happy. I don't know if all of my views will make me happy in the end. But will going agains what i believe and doing things i don't want to do make me happy? I don't think i can be happy doing whatever it takes to make them happy and to forget about myself and not do what is right for me or what i like to do.

I don't know. I will have to think about that. Those are good questions.

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There need to be more women with your attitude. THIS is a cool atiitude. No princess attitude.:D

I am far from a princess. I think the whole prince/princess attitude has a lot to do with your upbringing. If you grow up getting everything handed to you, then you think the whole world revolves around you, and that it's ok to be hateful to people just because they don't agree with you....

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I am far from a princess. I think the whole prince/princess attitude has a lot to do with your upbringing. If you grow up getting everything handed to you, then you think the whole world revolves around you, and that it's ok to be hateful to people just because they don't agree with you....

Exactly, "He should ask me out, he should hold the door, he should pull out the chair, he should pay for the dinner, he should buy me flowers, he should get down on his knee and propose. Me, me, me, me, me. Do this all for me!!!!"

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I am far from a princess. I think the whole prince/princess attitude has a lot to do with your upbringing. If you grow up getting everything handed to you, then you think the whole world revolves around you, and that it's ok to be hateful to people just because they don't agree with you....

Good. But if he takes you out to a nice, nice restaurant, does it tickle your fancy just a little if he opens the door, pulls out your seat, etc at least once?

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You are right, i do know what i want, but it does matter what she wants. But that does not mean i just give in to whatever she wants. And it think trying to start new routines and rules is dumb. Especially like making sure we eat at the dinner table every night at dinner time. I think that's silly. Then she got a little upset because a buddy wanted to go out somewhere and she wanted me to stay home because it was our first night in the apartment together. And she thought we should spend it at home together! :o

If it had gone on much longer then i think it would have been like some of my buddies relationships where she would want me home by a certain time, etc.

It's not that i wanted to be still have a single life while living with a girlfriend i just didn't want rules placed on me. That stuff is not needed. You can live together and not have that.

Ha, you're a little bit Seinfeldian, you know ;)

Yeah okay some partners can be a bit overly smothering,

But you're not just doing everything she wants, the two of you have to reach a compromise or agreement. You do some of the things she wants, she does some of the things you want.

The thing with women is that they can tell pretty quickly if you're into the relationship or not. Having a girlfriend is not like having a male buddy. You can't come and go as you please, you can't say "yeah I'll ring you tonight honey" and then you don't. Women severly get the shits with that. Your male best friend may not care, or may not even notice that you didn't ring. But your girlfriend will notice. And if it starts to happen often, she'll start thinking "he's not really into me" and then she'll dump you

I mean, your first night in the apartment together, I mean come on man, you don't kiss her on the cheek and go "see ya later honey, I'm going out with the boys. Don't wait up" she's gonna then be sitting there in an apartment that she's just moved into to be with her boyfriend, only to find on her first night there, she's on her own. She would've been thinking "wow...I think i just made a big fucking mistake".

She's moved in with you, so obviously you asked her to move in with you, and the first night she moves in, you piss off with the boys...To a girl, that's a bad sign! It sends signals that you don't really care.

Maybe you don't want a girlfriend, but a mother or a sister or something. Someone who just keeps the home-fires burning, so you can go out, live your life and do all the things you want to do, then come home to someone who's going to take care of you.

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Ha, you're a little bit Seinfeldian, you know ;)

Yeah okay some partners can be a bit overly smothering,

But you're not just doing everything she wants, the two of you have to reach a compromise or agreement. You do some of the things she wants, she does some of the things you want.

The thing with women is that they can tell pretty quickly if you're into the relationship or not. Having a girlfriend is not like having a male buddy. You can't come and go as you please, you can't say "yeah I'll ring you tonight honey" and then you don't. Women severly get the shits with that. Your male best friend may not care, or may not even notice that you didn't ring. But your girlfriend will notice. And if it starts to happen often, she'll start thinking "he's not really into me" and then she'll dump you

I mean, your first night in the apartment together, I mean come on man, you don't kiss her on the cheek and go "see ya later honey, I'm going out with the boys. Don't wait up" she's gonna then be sitting there in an apartment that she's just moved into to be with her boyfriend, only to find on her first night there, she's on her own. She would've been thinking "wow...I think i just made a big fucking mistake".

She's moved in with you, so obviously you asked her to move in with you, and the first night she moves in, you piss off with the boys...To a girl, that's a bad sign! It sends signals that you don't really care.

Maybe you don't want a girlfriend, but a mother or a sister or something. Someone who just keeps the home-fires burning, so you can go out, live your life and do all the things you want to do, then come home to someone who's going to take care of you.

I think you will be doing a lot of banging your head against a wall to get through to Mr Permanently Single. This guy is destined to find love only when he looks in the mirror or holds himself in his hand.

You can imagine that if he got married that on his wedding night he would piss off with his friends for fear of being tied down or committed to a relationship. :blink::blink::blink:

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Good. But if he takes you out to a nice, nice restaurant, does it tickle your fancy just a little if he opens the door, pulls out your seat, etc at least once?

I suppose that'd be okay, but I wouldn't be all offended if he didn't. If a guy was overly smooth like that, I might get a little suspicious as to his intentions for the end of the date.....as in "WHY are you being so nice to me??"

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I suppose that'd be okay, but I wouldn't be all offended if he didn't. If a guy was overly smooth like that, I might get a little suspicious as to his intentions for the end of the date.....as in "WHY are you being so nice to me??"

I gotta say, Bonnie...

Out of all of us, you're the most consistently thoughtful and wise here. Not to mention patient. :lol:

If I wasn't already happily married, I might do something Spats would never do.

Ask for your number.

;)

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