Suz Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 You're one of the fortunate parents. Ya done good. And I agree- some adults can be far worse! I know what you all are talking about, though. My daughter has a friend who's mom acts like her best friend, and seems to be at her daughter's beck and call. The girl insults her mother publicly,and the mom just takes it- that bothers my daughter. My daughter actually said to me, "I KNOW I'm going to regret this, but Mom- thanks for telling me no sometimes!" We laughed our asses off. But she has another friend who's parents moniter her every move, and it's holding her back from developing, it seems. I told the mom of the insulting daughter that if my kid talked to me that way, her ass would be on the other side of the room in a heartbeat! But of course, I wouldn't physically kick her ass, I'd take her down with ONE LOOK I inherited the evil eye from my mom and grandmas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Action Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 I know what you all are talking about, though. My daughter has a friend who's mom acts like her best friend, and seems to be at her daughter's beck and call. The girl insults her mother publicly,and the mom just takes it- that bothers my daughter. My daughter actually said to me, "I KNOW I'm going to regret this, but Mom- thanks for telling me no sometimes!" We laughed our asses off. But she has another friend who's parents moniter her every move, and it's holding her back from developing, it seems. I told the mom of the insulting daughter that if my kid talked to me that way, her ass would be on the other side of the room in a heartbeat! But of course, I wouldn't physically kick her ass, I'd take her down with ONE LOOK I inherited the evil eye from my mom and grandmas. The one thing that's hardest to accomplish whilst parenting is to find that happy medium. You can't let the kids run all over you, but you also can't keep them tied to a post either. Kids need to learn about life firsthand in order to mature. But trying to find that happy medium is sometimes easier said than done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suz Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 The one thing that's hardest to accomplish whilst parenting is to find that happy medium. You can't let the kids run all over you, but you also can't keep them tied to a post either. Kids need to learn about life firsthand in order to mature. But trying to find that happy medium is sometimes easier said than done. Amen to that. And it's different for everyone. The best we can do is know ourselves and know our kids and go from there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wanna be drummer Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 I know there's a big difference between spanking and abuse. However, a part of me can't believe a parent can ever get so mad at something their child is done, they must hit them. Whether that's spanking them or throwing them against a wall. I just don't get it. Like I said, my parents never laid a hand on us at all and we turned out great. No problems in school, no drugs/alcohol, no gangs/bad friends/unplanned pregnancies.....nothing that parents dread when their kids become teenagers and adults. I got smacked/slapped as a kid all the time. So did...well everybody 50 years ago apparently, according to my parents and their friends, etc. We've simply grown soft. Personally, I don't know how some parents manage to not hit their kids to be honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Bonnie~ Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 There is nothing wrong with spanking your kids, as long as you aren't beating them. I used to get spankings all the time as a kid. My mom always used one of those matchbox cars racetracks on bare ass. Now that stung! And it was never just a *whack*, no, it was always *whack whack whack whackwhackwhackwhack* On the rare occasion that my son gets a spanking, I just use my hand, and I don't make him pull down the pants because I always thought it was gross. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misty Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 WOW, it is so hard to be a parent! The best advice anyone ever gave me is "Never Lose Your Credibility". You must follow through with what you say...otherwise your kids will learn that they can walk all over you. As for spanking, I am not a huge fan, but I have been in the position where force is needed to get their attention and keep your kids safe. Love 'em to death, lead by example, set boundaries, and be consistent! I have said it before, MOTHERHOOD: IT'S NOT FOR SISSIES". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suz Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 WOW, it is so hard to be a parent! The best advice anyone ever gave me is "Never Lose Your Credibility". You must follow through with what you say...otherwise your kids will learn that they can walk all over you. As for spanking, I am not a huge fan, but I have been in the position where force is needed to get their attention and keep your kids safe. Love 'em to death, lead by example, set boundaries, and be consistent! I have said it before, MOTHERHOOD: IT'S NOT FOR SISSIES". Hooray! Misty's here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misty Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 Hooray! Misty's here! Hello my friend across the miles! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Electrophile Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 I got smacked/slapped as a kid all the time. So did...well everybody 50 years ago apparently, according to my parents and their friends, etc. We've simply grown soft. Personally, I don't know how some parents manage to not hit their kids to be honest. As I said in my first post in this thread, my parents were abused as children. If my parents did to us what their parents did to them, they'd still be in prison. That's why my parents never hit us or spanked us. They were abused, they were afraid they would turn into abusers. So they found other means to punish/discipline us that obviously worked well. If you're insinuating something about my parents' parenting abilities, I don't think I like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manderlyh Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 Liz! I don't think he's insinuating anything about your parents' parenting abilities! Back to what I was going to say--believe it or not, kids like rules and structure! One VERY important thing I've learned in my college education is that children NEED structure! If you think about the people you know that turned out really, really well, most of them had a lot of structure and a lot of expectations laid upon them by their parents. The ones that turned out to be "losers." even if for just a short time, usually didn't have much parental involvement at one time in their lives or another. That is to say, that a lot of times when kids are doing poorly in school or keep screwing up wiht the law or other socially unacceptable things, the parents weren't enforcing a strict enough scaffolding of rules by which the children were expected to abide by. I'm saying this generally--and I mean structure by the idea that the kids know that if they screw up, there will be consequences, period. Any types of consequences, not matter what. These same kids that have structure usually are the ones who have to mow the lawn, do the dishes, help out around the house. These people are taught the value of responsiblity at a very young age. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alwizard03 Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 I never had to spank my kids much.I have on occasion had to spank some of my girl friends .However i had to stop .They liked it to much!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silver Rider Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 I never had to spank my kids much.I have on occasion had to spank some of my girl friends .However i had to stop .They liked it to much!!! If ever a thread deserved to die, this one does. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deborah J Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Let me first say that no child ever deserves to be abused. But there is a difference in spanking your child and abusing them IMHO. I was spanked quite a lot as a child, and for things I deserved. I was always spanked on my rear end either with a belt or a switch. I never did the things again that I was spanked for. I also spanked my son when he needed it, like when I told him not to touch a hot stove, and after telling him this once I still believe my decision to spank him instead of letting him burn his hands was a much better decision. Most kids today have no respect for authority, which I believe is a lack of discipline. We were brought up to respect our parents, teachers, the police. Time out only seems to work for a few IMHO. I love these parents who take their kids to restaurants, or any public place and let them run like wild animals, then when I walk over to the table and remind them that their child is causing havac they say how dare I tell them how to raise their child. Bullshit, how dare you think your child has the right to ruin everyones dinner. If you can't make your child behave, leave!!! It did hurt me to spank my beautiful son, but there were times where he needed it for safety reasons. I can live with the fact that I cared enough about him to do this. I remember when he graduated from high school, he walked up to me and said "Mom, I am so glad you cared enough to be hard on me and make me do the right things" One of the best days of my life. I was proud of him and he realized that I did this when needed because I did care enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silver Rider Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Some people are too obsessed with spanking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BIGDAN Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 Hi All, Sometimes words, grounding, taking away priviliges doesnt work, and the only way to grab a childs attention is for a short sharpe shock to be administered to the system, a Smack, it worken on me and it has worked for me, but never let it go too far, but PAIN can shock the Brain in to stopping what it is doing and bring it back to normality, this can also work with adults, you have been warned. Regards, Danny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silver Rider Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 Some people belong in jail.There was a case in Florida where a step-parent is serving a long sentence on a murder conviction because he killed a child when he used his belt on her.She was 5 years old and died of kidney failure thanks to his pure stupidity.Apparently she was playing doctor with her friends and he became enraged.Some people are just plain predators.And some are just plain lechers. This thread ought to be closed.I can't imagine why it was revived today. The last post before today was in 2008. I guess some people need better ways to spend their time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BIGDAN Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 Some people belong in jail. Hi Ho Silver, Yes they do, "CRIMINALS". Regards, Danny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silver Rider Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 It's criminal to murder a child.Children have died as a result of spankings. This is a really offensive topic. Why was it revived today after it dropped out of sight in 2008? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BIGDAN Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 It's criminal to murder a child.Children have died as a result of spankings. This is a really offensive topic. Why was it revived today after it dropped out of sight in 2008? Its Criminal to murder anyone, whats your point? Regards, Danny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiwi_Zep_Fan87 Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 As a kid, I have been smacked on my backside for telling lies, eating an insect and pinching another kid in my class! Had I not been smacked, who knows? I might have continued to do these awful things! I am not saying that a kid should be at the receiving end of smacking every moment of the day. But, smacking is a good thing in small doses. It is a weapon which normal parents would hate to use on a regular basis but sometimes, when things get out of hand, it is the only way! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silver Rider Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 Its Criminal to murder anyone, whats your point? Regards, Danny Maybe you should read the post again. Parents have murdered children in the course of "spanking" them.There have been times when spanking was actually murder. In other words, there was a dead body that resulted from "spanking". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JethroTull Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 My co-worker is from India. She recently told me she hits her 10 year old son when he misbehaves. I felt really uncomfortable as she was telling me this. She is expecting her second child in September. According to my wife (she's a teacher), people from certain cultures (Africa for one) do not hesitate to hit their kids. I was NEVER hit by my parents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
planted Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 I remember one spanking as a child, by my Dad. And I think he cried harder than I did! (I deserved it though.) My mother was a screamer and a name caller. Not sure which is worse. I have never spanked my kids. I have used the shit out of time-out, 1 minute for each year til they were in 1st grade or so. Right or wrong, that was a choice I made. That strategy worked better for my daughter than my son. Nevertheless, we all survived...(so far, they are now 19 and 14) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deborah J Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 Maybe you should read the post again. Parents have murdered children in the course of "spanking" them.There have been times when spanking was actually murder. In other words, there was a dead body that resulted from "spanking". There is a big difference in beating a child and spanking a child as a parent because you do not want your child to make a dangerous mistake. If you are uncomfortable with this thread, I ask you kindly to find another one, please! No one on this thread has made any threats, as parents and people we are expressing our opinions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silver Rider Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 My co-worker is from India. She recently told me she hits her 10 year old son when he misbehaves. I felt really uncomfortable as she was telling me this. She is expecting her second child in September. According to my wife (she's a teacher), people from certain cultures (Africa for one) do not hesitate to hit their kids. I was NEVER hit by my parents. I agree, it is really annoying sometimes, but I guess the weight of parenting is too much for some people, confession is good for the soul, and they feel a need to share their parenting concerns with you, the casual observer. And although I came from a family that spanked their children, I have learned not to spank children. I don't usually need to spank a child, and I get better results by taking the time to remind them to be nice to people and pay attention to their manners. Patience has always been the best way for me to deal with a disruptive child, especially when spankings were starting to get a little tiresome. They can go to their rooms until they are ready to come out and be nice to people, or if they need to use the bathroom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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