Jump to content

Scratch


3hrsoflunacy

Recommended Posts

I heard he converted to Druidism and was arrested for conducting "ancient rituals" in the park which included lewd acts with trees....

Just kidding. I'm sure he's fine.

What about his birds? Once I saw him kissing them...

Maybe he is in honeymoon with a parakeet...

(the funny of it, in brasilian portuguese, parakeet is a slang for genitalia )

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah I miss him, he was one of the cooler guys from the old board. One of the funniest around

But of course, some dick got offended by him and goodbye to one of the led-zep.com Hall of Famers...

You can ignore obnoxious people stupidasses, seriously. Ignore what bothers you, but don't kill everyone elses fun

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah I miss him, he was one of the cooler guys from the old board. One of the funniest around

I'm not sure, but I think he jetted on over to England to jam with the stones.

Some facts about Old Scratch:

He drives an Ice Cream truck covered in human skulls

He orchestrated the merger between Unicef and Smith & Wesson

It was the sight of Scratch's naked body that drove Brian Wilson insane

Did I ever tell you about the time Old Scratch took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can't find one. Finally Scratch takes me to a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are!.' We sat there for a year and a half and sure enough someone constructs a bar around us. The day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Old Scratch yelled over the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found em!'"

Scratch's family crest is a picture of a baraccuda eating Celine Dion

He once breastfead a homeless wino back to health

In South America his poop is traded for gold

Old Scratch once wrestled with an Anaconda for 12 hours and ended up swallowing the snake whole.

Scratch once vomited on the sidewalk after a drunken binge and the vomit was in the perfect image of the blessed virgin. There is now a shrine on that site and it attracts over a million pilgrims a year.

They say that Gene Rodenberry got the idea for Star Trek while hearing Old Scratch talking in his sleep on an airplane.

Old Scratch trained Lee Harvey Oswald how to shoot and even gave him a ride to Dallas.

While President Bill Clinton was doing Monica Lewinsky in the oval office -- Scratch was doing Hillary and Chelsea on the hood of the Presidential limosine.

Originally the Led Zeppelin song Dazed and Confused was going to be called Monkey On A Stick, and it was going to have a 10 minute accordion solo. But of course Old Scratch came up with the violin bow and guitar idea, AND the name Dazed and Confused.

.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm not sure, but I think he jetted on over to England to jam with the stones.

Some facts about Old Scratch:

He drives an Ice Cream truck covered in human skulls

He orchestrated the merger between Unicef and Smith & Wesson

It was the sight of Scratch's naked body that drove Brian Wilson insane

.

I never knew the guy but some of his postings I've read were pretty bizzare! :blink:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That's brilliant Del :D I want to meet Old Scratch

Well, I can't take credit for all of them. Some of them are from the 'Bill Brasky' sketch on SNL.

But here are a few more:

On a bet over who's religion was best, Old Scratch once mud wrestled with the Pope and won. The Pope then released all Three Stooges from purgatory including Shemp.

I once saw a video of Old Scratch making love to my wife.... and it was beautiful.

Old Scratch invented the internet just to archive and share his vast porno collection with mankind.

The Beatles' White album was originally a photo of Old Scratch and the Queen of England naked and smoking Pot on Hitler's grave. But it proved to be too controversial for most people's tastes.

On Old Scratch's wedding night he got ever everyone in the wedding party pregnant... including the men.

Old Scratch found the lost ark of the covenant and uses it as a really cool TV stand.

When Batman is out fighting crime, Old Scratch goes and poops in his cave... And man! That really pisses Batman off!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...