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Internet Safety


~Bonnie~

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Here's another one

if any of you ladies are planing on meeting some guy you've met over the net

you can call me and I'll tell you if it's safe to meet that poerson or not nothing more nothing less.

It's a freebie don't worry about that

Is the willow stick free too....or should they bring their own ?

I rarely take things seriously here, but this subject is one of them. I've always felt a little uncomfortable sharing this forum with 10 year olds, and decided a long time ago that any extensive pm'ing here wasn't in my best interest. You can only control 50% of the conversation, no matter who you think you are talking to. I'm not a parent, but my 10 year old wouldn't be on here....simple as that.

As for sexual predators, the whole concept just blows my mind. I just can't rationalize what security the Internet provides someone to feel confident enough to try that crap. Were there always this many just hiding in the closet all those years ? These people get busted, and the collateral damage for others is huge ! Certainly for the victim....but how would your family deal with your Father or husband suddenly being busted out of the blue as a sexual predator ?

Do you realize how easy it would be to frame someone as a sexual predator ? :huh: **shivers**

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Is the willow stick free too....or should they bring their own ?

I rarely take things seriously here, but this subject is one of them. I've always felt a little uncomfortable sharing this forum with 10 year olds, and decided a long time ago that any extensive pm'ing here wasn't in my best interest. You can only control 50% of the conversation, no matter who you think you are talking to. I'm not a parent, but my 10 year old wouldn't be on here....simple as that.

As for sexual predators, the whole concept just blows my mind. I just can't rationalize what security the Internet provides someone to feel confident enough to try that crap. Were there always this many just hiding in the closet all those years ? These people get busted, and the collateral damage for others is huge ! Certainly for the victim....but how would your family deal with your Father or husband suddenly being busted out of the blue as a sexual predator ?

Do you realize how easy it would be to frame someone as a sexual predator ? :huh: **shivers**

I know someone who was framed for rape. So you all go on about all this mumbo jumbo as you wish. It's still fresh in my mind and his as he did 6 hard years for her lies and deceipt.

We have just installed monitoring softs for the company and all home computers in my family. Beyond that because of this thread.

They are banned from it. We catch them in this forum and we will promptly remove their computers from them. Additionally for the 3 year old she may go home schooling.

As far as what they do when they become 18? Doesnt matter.

We asked the 3 year old about it and she just whirls around and says "Googey, googey?"

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I can only echo what concerns have been expressed here for the safety of the younger members of the community.

The guidlines that Bonnie has posted, and the additional sources of useful info/links, should be highlighted and left here permanently, no question.

Can't understand anybody who has a problem with that.

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I think anyone who doesnt take internet safety for kids ( and women) serioulsy is being irresponsible.

Here on this type of forum we adults i think, have a duty to give some of the younger people some protection from those who would seek to exploit.

I can't really see how any parent would have a problem with that. But then some parents allow their kids unlimited accesst to the net without any monitoring and for me that makes them culpable and irresponsible in their duty to protect their own kids.

I certainly struggle to understand keeperoftheglooms attitude to those here who are seeking to protect the younger members of a very public forum.

I can't see how by trying to protect they can be accused of trying to tell someone how to bring up their kids. And can any parent be 100% certain that their child would not be stupid enugh to get involved with someone on line? Sadly when kids go missing, turn up abused or dead what comes up time after time? The fact that their computer use show they have been involved with a smooth talking lying stranger pretending to be their friend, confidante etc.

As an adult male I am all too aware of the shit that goes on over the net with adults grooming kids, also these days it would be all to easy for kids to be lulled into having an online relationship with a complete stranger who lies about who they are, what they do, what they are like etc.

So for females especially to argue against added protection is a strange concept.

In my line of work i have seen only too well the damage and devastation that sexual abuse can leave people with for the whole of their lives.

So I will support any efforts to reduce that happening around here.

So well done Bonnie for posting this thread.

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I think anyone who doesnt take internet safety for kids ( and women) serioulsy is being irresponsible.

Here on this type of forum we adults i think, have a duty to give some of the younger people some protection from those who would seek to exploit.

I can't really see how any parent would have a problem with that. But then some parents allow their kids unlimited accesst to the net without any monitoring and for me that makes them culpable and irresponsible in their duty to protect their own kids.

I certainly struggle to understand keeperoftheglooms attitude to those here who are seeking to protect the younger members of a very public forum.

I can't see how by trying to protect they can be accused of trying to tell someone how to bring up their kids. And can any parent be 100% certain that their child would not be stupid enugh to get involved with someone on line? Sadly when kids go missing, turn up abused or dead what comes up time after time? The fact that their computer use show they have been involved with a smooth talking lying stranger pretending to be their friend, confidante etc.

As an adult male I am all too aware of the shit that goes on over the net with adults grooming kids, also these days it would be all to easy for kids to be lulled into having an online relationship with a complete stranger who lies about who they are, what they do, what they are like etc.

So for females especially to argue against added protection is a strange concept.

In my line of work i have seen only too well the damage and devastation that sexual abuse can leave people with for the whole of their lives.

So I will support any efforts to reduce that happening around here.

So well done Bonnie for posting this thread.

I was a victim. Does this help you any? I thought this was a place to have fun and talk about Led Zeppelin.

My new life will be a happy one :D

Forgive me.

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I was a victim. Does this help you any? I thought this was a place to have fun and talk about Led Zeppelin.

My new life will be a happy one :D

Forgive me.

Why would it help me?

I am just offering my viewpoint and opinion on a serious issue. There are lots of threads here that are purely LZ related and lots to have fun in.

I hope your new life is a happy one but there are people here with concerns.

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I don't know if this is available in England, but here in Michigan, and I'm sure in other states, you have the ability to go on the state website and punch in your zip/postal code, and it shows you the registered sex offenders in your area. My city is made up of 5 zip codes, and the my queries return a total of 113 registered offenders. And it's not like I live in some sleazy part of town, my city would be considered middle/upper-middle class, I think, and it's ranked the 6th safest city in the US with a population between 100,000-500,000.

And you figure, 113 is just the number that have been caught. How many others are there with creepy intentions? I'd venture to say it's many times that number.

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I was a victim. Does this help you any? I thought this was a place to have fun and talk about Led Zeppelin.

My new life will be a happy one :D

Forgive me.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Well you more than anyone should understand the value of having a thread like this or maybe not I don't know. But as someone said there are lots of fun threads on here to be involved in but still doesn't negate the fact that there is also room for a thread such as this IMHO.

:beer:

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Just please get my permission before you teach my children to grow up paranoid of everyone. Currently they are warm, loving and have great relationships with their siblings and with adults.

I do believe the Supreme Court will back me on this one.

I am unaware of whoever it is who is "raping" young girls or young boys/

Was this seen by anyone here?

Were you there?

Did you see the police documents?

Or was in another rumor made up by some misfit with nothing better to do than spread rumors?

Please let ME teach my children.

Let me teach them factual information.

We do need to be careful, but there is no need to scare my children with alarmist beliefs.

Be wise. Let people who are old enough to have children teach for goodness sakes.

Who here has kids?

Bonnie?

Red?

Electro? Electro may be old enough to have children. I really dont know much about her.

I am saying that for the most part these weird things happening is uncommon, that is considering how many people interact online. I know a whole bunch of people who have met, actually gotten married and live happy rewarding relationships. The web cann work for you, or against you. Make it fork for you and used as a screen, not a shield.

<spell edit 0442hr 04.03.2008>

Please don't sign up for a forum yersterday, and start trying to brainwash its members into thinking the internet is a safe haven for peace, love, and tye dye.

You are completely missing the fact that this very site has at least one predator that visits constantly, is banned and comes back again in a most obsessive manner.

There are no police records, and thankfully no rapes (we hope...), there is a restraining order or two I'm almost sure. Your children may be well educated on how to read adults, but many kids that participate here are unaware that this person's actions are not appropriate.

I think it commendable that people care enough to look out for them.

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Let's not just make this a gender situation. As evidenced by the number of female teachers being arrested for having sex with underage male students, this topic holds truy for both boys and girls who are on the internet.

Yeah, there are a lot of female teachers getting busted for sex with students, but when you're talking online sex predators, it's almost exclusively guys coming after kids. Look at the sex offender registry in your zip code, it's pretty rare to find a female on there. And when they do internet stings to catch predators, it's not chicks showing up to hook up with 13 year olds, it's guys....ALWAYS.

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Bonnie, thank you so much for taking the time to share this important information with all of us. Even as a young teen, I was competent when it came to judging people. But, back then, it was all based upon face-to-face contact. Now, it's a different world for young people. Because of the anonymity it offers, the internet has changed the calculus of deciding who is "safe" and who isn't. I think it makes it much more difficult for many less experienced young people to make those judgments.

Thanks again for starting this thread. :beer:

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I'm just thankful my kids weren't/aren't stupid.

And I still hold the parents responsible if they don't know what their kid is up to, perhaps they aren't as involved in their lives as they should be, and kids look elswhere for love and attention.

As I've said before, you are the king/queen of your castle.

Watch where your kids go.

Another point I'd like to make is...it can also be dangerous for a kid to talk to the "concerned Uncle"..guys posing as Father figures to "protect"...some of these guys are actually sicko themselves.

If you can't for some ugly reason, talk to your parents, seek out a counselor from School, or if you go, your church.

NOT a so-called "daddy" on the internet.

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Just please get my permission before you teach my children to grow up paranoid of everyone. Currently they are warm, loving and have great relationships with their siblings and with adults.

I do believe the Supreme Court will back me on this one.

I am unaware of whoever it is who is "raping" young girls or young boys/

Was this seen by anyone here?

Were you there?

Did you see the police documents?

Or was in another rumor made up by some misfit with nothing better to do than spread rumors?

Please let ME teach my children.

Let me teach them factual information.

We do need to be careful, but there is no need to scare my children with alarmist beliefs.

Be wise. Let people who are old enough to have children teach for goodness sakes.

Who here has kids?

Bonnie?

Red?

Electro? Electro may be old enough to have children. I really dont know much about her.

I am saying that for the most part these weird things happening is uncommon, that is considering how many people interact online. I know a whole bunch of people who have met, actually gotten married and live happy rewarding relationships. The web cann work for you, or against you. Make it fork for you and used as a screen, not a shield.

<spell edit 0442hr 04.03.2008>

Yeah, I do have a child. And I can honestly say that if anyone harmed him, he would be living with the ex-hubby, 'cause Mommy would be in jail....

And AS A PARENT, I do know that kids are ten times more likely to listen to -Anyone- other than their parents when it comes to safety. I'm not trying to tell you how to raise your kids.

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All the people bitching and moaning about this thread need to take it somewhere else. Bonnie did a good thing and a SMART thing, getting everyone talking about this subject. As many people have re-iterated, we've had problems with predator-like behavior on this very board, and the more knowledge and information we can provide for our younger members, the better.

Knowledge is power. To leave one uneducated an ignorant is to leave one powerless.

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I am married with four children. Thank you for posting this thread. It is too bad that a small percentage of the people make it tougher or scarier for everyone else, but that is the reality of things. Why make it easy for abusive people to be abusive? In fact I would be in support of dramatically escalating the number of aforementioned "sting operations" where abuse is obviously taking place. Hopefully that would make things safer for more children and probably some adults too.

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Yeah, I do have a child. And I can honestly say that if anyone harmed him, he would be living with the ex-hubby, 'cause Mommy would be in jail....

And AS A PARENT, I do know that kids are ten times more likely to listen to -Anyone- other than their parents when it comes to safety. I'm not trying to tell you how to raise your kids.

Yes. Kids are more likely to listen to anyone BUT their parents when it comes to things they "should know," or "need to know," especially if the said kid is a bit resistant.

I'm not a parent, but I have a 15-year-old sister who I helped raise. I babysat her when she was a newborn, changed her diapers and stayed home from work with her while she was throwing up because my single mother couldn't afford to miss a day from work because she had a family to support and I didn't. I had a great responsiblity to take care of my sister in the same manner my mom took care of her.

Even though she's almost 15 and she's in high school, I still feel the strong need to protect her from harm and anything that may hurt her. Even though I'm sure I don't have as strong feelings that a parent would have for their child, I am much more protective of her than I am of my other sister because I feel more maternal with her than most siblings would with their much younger siblings.

If any man harmed her, I'd kill him. Plain and simple. I'd kill him because while she is my little sister, she's also my baby.

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FWIW, I think this thread was a great idea. If some see it as alarmist, then that's their perogative.

It's some suggestions, advice, and some listing(s) of resources.

  • If people already know this stuff, and take care to protect themselves and their personal information, that's great!

  • If parents already have talked to their kids about this kind of stuff and have some sort of monitoring/supervision of their kids' internet use, that's great!

  • The worst that will have happened as a result of reading the first page of this thread will be the irretrievable loss of aproximately 1-2 minutes of your life that you won't get back. Considering the amount of time 'wasted' in some other threads, I think it's probably going to be okay if someone wastes a couple minutes on this one.

  • A lot of the concepts behind the suggestions listed in the opening post apply to other areas of our lives as well, both virtual and actual. Identify theft has become a huge, huge problem the last several years. There are things you can do to to protect your personal information, or at least make it harder for folks to get it.

  • There will always be predators out there... sexual or otherwise... there's nothing wrong with learning how to protect yourself or those you care about.

  • Last but not least... I keep reading the word 'pedophile' being used and I think it's being used incorrectly. Pedophiles are attracted to PREPUBESCENT CHILDREN.
    Teenagers aren't usually prepubescent (although some teens, especially in the 13-15 range may not be far from that). Regarding the stuff people have been talking about here (within this site) -- the term you want is actually Sexual Predator, not Pedophile.

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  • Last but not least... I keep reading the word 'pedophile' being used and I think it's being used incorrectly. Pedophiles are attracted to PREPUBESCENT CHILDREN.
    Teenagers aren't usually prepubescent (although some teens, especially in the 13-15 range may not be far from that). Regarding the stuff people have been talking about here (within this site) -- the term you want is actually Sexual Predator, not Pedophile.

Good point, thanks for that. Predators is right, even if they're not technically "pedophiles".

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Great points as always Lakey. I'm not a mother but I remember what it was like to be a teenager. I was stubborn and sometimes I chose to not always listen to my parents (that rebellious phase) but I had people who were adults (teachers etc.) that I was very close to and would often give me the same advice my parents did. Somehow it got through that way. I guess that's often par for the course of growing up I suppose. Anyways, my point is that having this thread available with important information about what to do if they find they are in an unsafe situation as well as having adults here that care and will listen, support and help without judgement is really important. If even ONE person reads this and can get help out of things, then to me it's a great success. It's not trying to overstep any parental boundaries - quite the opposite. I can't imagine how anyone would find fault with it.

Kudos again to Bonnie for starting it and all those who shared valuable insight and information.

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I'd like to share a little story

On another forum I visit the admin on there has banned TWO sexual predators. One of which we know was sent to prison and the other who tried to strike up a relationship with a 15 year old girl on there, he was over 25 as far as we know. Some people are completely wacko, and unfortunately this guy got a girl who was very insecure about herself. This could very well have happened offline as well.

This goes to show, that due to the vast amount of people on the internet, by any odds, most large forums WILL have a VERY good chance of getting a few pedophiles and sexual predators on them.

This does NOT mean that we have to be cold and extremely secretive about anything to do with ourselves. It DOES mean that we should be wary about how well we know people on here and we should take precautions to keep possible wackos from gaining some sort of leverage on us. This also applies to real life however...

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This does NOT mean that we have to be cold and extremely secretive about anything to do with ourselves. It DOES mean that we should be wary about how well we know people on here and we should take precautions to keep possible wackos from gaining some sort of leverage on us. This also applies to real life however...

It's also important to know what to do if the predators succeed, namely, remain calm, cool and get away as soon as possible, to make a long story short.

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http://www.missingkids.com/missingkids/ser...&PageId=207

Internet-Related Safety Tips for Teens

1. Don't give out personal information about yourself, your family situation, your school, your telephone number, or your address.

2. If you become aware of the sharing, use, or viewing of child pornography online, immediately report this to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children at 1-800-843-5678.

3. When in chatrooms remember that not everyone may be who they say they are. For example a person who says "she" is a 14-year-old girl from New York may really be a 42-year-old man from California.1

4. If someone harasses you online, says anything inappropriate, or does anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, contact your Internet service provider.

5. Know that there are rules many Internet Service Providers (ISP) have about online behavior. If you disobey an ISP's rules, your ISP may penalize you by disabling your account, and sometimes every account in a household, either temporarily or permanently.

6. Consider volunteering at your local library, school, or Boys & Girls Club to help younger children online. Many schools and nonprofit organizations are in need of people to help set up their computers and Internet capabilities.

7. A friend you meet online may not be the best person to talk to if you are having problems at home, with your friends, or at school - remember the teenage "girl" from New York in Tip number three? If you can't find an adult in your school, church, club, or neighborhood to talk to, Covenant House is a good place to call at 1-800-999-9999. The people there provide counseling to kids, refer them to local shelters, help them with law enforcement, and can serve as mediators by calling their parents.

8. If you are thinking about running away, a friend from online (remember the 14-year-old girl) may not be the best person to talk to. If there is no adult in your community you can find to talk to, call the National Runaway Switchboard at 1-800-621-4000. Although some of your online friends may seem to really listen to you, the Switchboard will be able to give you honest, useful answers to some of your questions about what to do when you are depressed, abused, or thinking about running away.2

1Adapted from Teen Safety on the Information Highway by Lawrence J. Magid. Copyright© respectively 1994 and 1998 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC). All rights reserved.

2Adapted from Children Online: The ABCs for Parenting: When Is Your Child Ready by The Children's Partnership. Reprinted with permission of The Children's Partnership. http://www.childrenspartnership.org

Another good resource site:

http://www.cybertipline.com/

Thanks for this important and useful information Bonnie. I would like to see them expound on point #4 and explain how to contact the internet service provider. Even with 12 years of internet experience I'm not confident I could do that without some effort.

And it's nice that they provide several phone numbers but how readily available are these numbers when a situation arises? It's got me thinking that the ISPs should themselves be more pro-active with this information. I'm sitting here looking at my MSN Explorer browser bar and see that all kinds of info -- latest stock reports, sports scores, weather, etc -- is just a click or two away. Maybe they should add a red alert button which would bring down a list of these type phone numbers. Or would send the page you're viewing directly to the provider. Sort of a 911 button for the web, if you will.

Or put this contact information directly on the computer. My laptop has all these stickers from the software manufacturers, warning labels, etc......maybe they could put one more with a few important phone numbers.

Thanks also Manderly for the link/help you gave.

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I'd like to share a little story

On another forum I visit the admin on there has banned TWO sexual predators. One of which we know was sent to prison and the other who tried to strike up a relationship with a 15 year old girl on there, he was over 25 as far as we know. Some people are completely wacko, and unfortunately this guy got a girl who was very insecure about herself. This could very well have happened offline as well.

This goes to show, that due to the vast amount of people on the internet, by any odds, most large forums WILL have a VERY good chance of getting a few pedophiles and sexual predators on them.

This does NOT mean that we have to be cold and extremely secretive about anything to do with ourselves. It DOES mean that we should be wary about how well we know people on here and we should take precautions to keep possible wackos from gaining some sort of leverage on us. This also applies to real life however...

Yes, it does also apply in real life.

The one thing I want to say about the difference between real life and the internet and contact with a predator is that if we were to see something happen between a predator and a victim or if we were to suspect something happening between a preadator and a victim and the victim was family or a friend, I can be sure that NONE of us would hesitate to act upon it.

This also applies to "internet life."

I took a vow to protect children from harm when I entered the profession of teaching. Although I'm not a teacher with a bachelor's degree yet, I am considered a teacher. When I graduate in December, I will be more than halfway to my master's degree. I'm certified to teach, I am a member of the teacher's union, and I belong to the National Council of Teachers of English. I'm a teacher, but as my mentors put it, "I just have a few more hoops to jump through."

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