MOJO Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternal light Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 (edited) What Sound Does Mama Say? Edited June 30, 2009 by eternal light Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock N' Rollin' Man Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bong-Man Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BIGDAN Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 Two cannibals were eating a comedian, and one of them turns to the other and asks, “Does this taste funny to you?” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy's A Legend Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 Two cannibals were eating a comedian, and one of them turns to the other and asks, “Does this taste funny to you?” That sounds like a joke my dad would say Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BIGDAN Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 That sounds like a joke my dad would say Hi Son, your Mother never told you then? Very Kind Regards, Daddy PS. I've waited years for that to happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BIGDAN Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 Two cannibals were having their dinner. One said to the other, 'I don't like your friend.' The other one replied, 'Well put her to one side and just eat the greens.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy's A Legend Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 Hi Son, your Mother never told you then? Very Kind Regards, Daddy PS. I've waited years for that to happen. btw I'm actaully a girl and the second one you posted still sounds like my dad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BIGDAN Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 btw I'm actaully a girl and the second one you posted still sounds like my dad. You got me there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Footsteps of Dawn Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 I learned these two jokes in Nashville. The first one is from on the wall at the Pancake Pantry, and the second is from a gentleman from Texas in the elevator at the Country Music Hall of Fame. "You know you're from Nashville when you pass out at a Hank Williams, Jr. concert before Hank does." "What's got 18 legs and 6 teeth? The front row at a Hank Jr. concert." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOJO Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 Mob Boss A mob boss finds out his accountant has stolen millions from him. He is furious. He gets his lawyer and goes to the accountant's office. The mob boss sits down and says "Listen you little prick. I know you took millions from me and I want it back now!" The accountant looks terrified, but doesn't say anything. The mob boss pulls out his gun, stands up, puts the gun to the accountant's head and says "You got three fuckin' seconds to tell me where my money is!" The lawyer says "Sir, he's deaf, but i know sign language." The mob boss says "Ask that prick where my money is or I'll end him right here" The lawyer signs to the accountant and tells him he needs to tell where the money is or he's going to die. The accountant nervously signs back to the lawyer that all the money, all $5 million is buried in the yard behind his shed. The mob boss says "what did he say?" The lawyer pauses and says "He says you're too much of a pussy to pull the trigger." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy's A Legend Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 I got this off the kids cartoon 'Scooby Doo' Q. Who would want 100 watches? A. A centipede Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BIGDAN Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 1. How do you confuse an Irishman? Put him in a barrel and tell him to Piss in the Corner. 2. Why are Synagogue's Round? So the Jew's cant hide in the Corners when the Collection come's round. 3. Why did God give the Irish the Potatoes and the Arabs the Oil? Because the Irisn had the first Choice. 4. Why didnt God send Jesus to Ireland to save the World? Because he couldnt find Three Wise Men and a Virgin. 5. An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are captured by African Tribesmen for Trespassing on their Tribal Burial Lands, so the Chief asks the Tribesmen what punnishment he should give them. The Tribesmen shout as one "Death or Bulla" The Chief asks the Irishman first, "What Punishment do you want, Death or Bulla" The Irishman answers, "I dont want to die, so it has to be Bulla, whatever that is" The Tribesmen shout as one "Bulla", then the Tribesmen take him to a nearby enclosure, bent him over a very large log and everyone buggers him shouting "Bulla, Bulla" while doing so. He is then let go. The Chief asks the Scotsman, "What Punishment do you want, Death or Bulla" The Scotsman answers, "I dont want to die, so it has to be Bulla, and i know what that is" The Tribesmen shout as one "Bulla", then the Tribesmen take him to a nearby enclosure, bent him over a very large log and everyone buggers him shouting "Bulla, Bulla" while doing so. He is then let go. The Chief then asks the English, "What Punishment do you want, Death or Bulla" The Englishman answers, "I dont want to die, but you heathen scum are not going to bugger me, an Englishman, so it has to be "Death"" The Tribesmen then shout as one "Death by Bulla" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Broken Levee Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Lena_Zep Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 Not that funny but... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOJO Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 ‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the hood Not a ho was working though they knew they should Her stockings were stained with jizz and some hair As she wished that a john would soon appear The pimp was home snug in his bed While visions of benjamins danced in his head I just finished drinking some Jack When mama called into the back Lying there naked from her toes to her head Made my penis rise as I ran for the bed Her lips on my penis and my tongue in her crack That’s when we heard a loud whack I sprang to my feet to see what was happening That’s when I saw two thugs a sacking I started my attack On the one with the sack I hit him so hard he fell to the floor Without hesitation his partner ran out the door At that moment the other called my wife a whore So I turned around quick and beat him some more When I finished the beating I found to my surprise The police had just arrived The sergeant they call St. Nick entered he room where I beat that dick Following behind him came several more I recognized them all as they barged through the door Officer Dancer and Prancer first to enter Next came Donder and Vixen a blitzing I escaped apprehension While my wife drew their attention Out the building I fled, through the courtyard I sped Losing the officers as I hid in the shed Soon they were gone giving up the chase Shortly after I returned to my place My wife and I resumed our pleasure Moments after I added this extra Opened the window I howled in joy Merry fucking Christmas to all I survived another night Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOJO Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 new meaning to go topless Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternal light Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 video.msn.com.gene simmons offers dating advice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy's A Legend Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 I love the band but does this remind you of anyone? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Lena_Zep Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 I love the band but does this remind you of anyone? I love Scooby Doo! And that guy reminds me of someone but I'm not sure... Who is it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Footsteps of Dawn Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 (edited) An Italian walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan officer. He told the loan officer that he was going to Italy on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000 and that he was not a depositor of the bank. The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan, so the Italian handed over the key to a new Ferrari. The car was parked on the street in front of the bank. The Italian produced the title and everything checked out. The loan officer agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and apologized for having to charge 12% interest; he said there were no early payment fees. Later, the bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Italian for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's secure underground garage and parked it. Two weeks later, the Italian returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest of $23.07. The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" The Italian replied: "Minga, where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there when I return?" Edited July 16, 2009 by Footsteps of Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virginia Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 More hilarious cake wrecks; the comments kill me! Cake Wrecks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZPN Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 I can't think of anything to say to make you laugh, but I'd recommend watching Craig Ferguson (on CBS after Letterman)! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THE FIRST LEDZEP Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 I love my basement! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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