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Mike was going to be married to Karen so his Father sat him down for a little chat...

He said, 'Mike, let me tell you something... On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants, handed them to your Mother, and said, 'Here - try these on'...

She did and said, These are too big... I can't wear them...

I replied, 'Exactly... I wear the pants in this family and I always will...

Ever since that night, we have never had any problems..

'Hmmm,' said Mike... He thought that might be a good thing to try..

On his honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Karen,

Here - try these on...

She tried them on and said, These are too large... They don't fit me...

Mike said, Exactly... I wear the pants in this family and I always will...

I don't want you to ever forget that...

Then Karen took off her panties and handed them to Mike...

She said, Here- you try on mine...

He did and said, I can't get into your panties...

Karen said, Exactly... And if you don't change your smart-ass attitude, you never will..

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  • 3 weeks later...

I feel so left out on a thread like this. It's not that I have no a sense of humor. Unfortunately, I have a tendency to be putting people on and they take me for dead serious. Then when I'm serious, they think I'm having them on.

I won't even bother with Deek Jackson. I think he is way funny, and deathly serious at the same time. I watched about a dozen Hot for Words videos, and could find one to go her, but I think she's funny.

Piss on it!

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President's Statement on Kleptocracy

For too long, the culture of corruption has undercut development and good governance and bred criminality and mistrust around the world. High-level corruption by senior government officials, or kleptocracy, is a grave and corrosive abuse of power and represents the most invidious type of public corruption. It threatens our national interest and violates our values. It impedes our efforts to promote freedom and democracy, end poverty, and combat international crime and terrorism. Kleptocracy is an obstacle to democratic progress, undermines faith in government institutions, and steals prosperity from the people. Promoting transparent, accountable governance is a critical component of our freedom agenda.

At this year's G-8 meeting in St Petersburg, my colleagues joined me in calling for strengthened international efforts to deny kleptocrats access to our financial systems and safe haven in our countries; stronger efforts to combat fraud, corruption, and misuse of public resources; and increased capacity internationally to prevent opportunities for high-level public corruption. Today, I am announcing a new element in my Administration's plan to fight kleptocracy, The National Strategy to Internationalize Efforts against Kleptocracy, which sets forth a framework to deter, prevent, and address high-level, public corruption. It identifies critical tools to detect and prosecute corrupt officials around the world, so that the promise of economic assistance and growth reaches the people.

Our objective is to defeat high-level public corruption in all its forms and to deny corrupt officials access to the international financial system as a means of defrauding their people and hiding their ill-gotten gains. Given the nature of our open, accessible international financial system, our success in fighting kleptocracy will depend upon the participation and accountability of our partner nations, the international financial community, and regional and multilateral development institutions. Together, we can confront kleptocracy and help create the conditions necessary for people everywhere to enjoy the full benefits of honest, just, and accountable governance.


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Network Working Group D. Waitzman

Request for Comments: 1149 BBN STC

1 April 1990

A Standard for the Transmission of IP Datagrams on Avian Carriers

Status of this Memo

This memo describes an experimental method for the encapsulation of

IP datagrams in avian carriers. This specification is primarily

useful in Metropolitan Area Networks. This is an experimental, not

recommended standard. Distribution of this memo is unlimited.

Overview and Rational

Avian carriers can provide high delay, low throughput, and low

altitude service. The connection topology is limited to a single

point-to-point path for each carrier, used with standard carriers,

but many carriers can be used without significant interference with

each other, outside of early spring. This is because of the 3D ether

space available to the carriers, in contrast to the 1D ether used by

IEEE802.3. The carriers have an intrinsic collision avoidance

system, which increases availability. Unlike some network

technologies, such as packet radio, communication is not limited to

line-of-sight distance. Connection oriented service is available in

some cities, usually based upon a central hub topology.

Frame Format

The IP datagram is printed, on a small scroll of paper, in

hexadecimal, with each octet separated by whitestuff and blackstuff.

The scroll of paper is wrapped around one leg of the avian carrier.

A band of duct tape is used to secure the datagram's edges. The

bandwidth is limited to the leg length. The MTU is variable, and

paradoxically, generally increases with increased carrier age. A

typical MTU is 256 milligrams. Some datagram padding may be needed.

Upon receipt, the duct tape is removed and the paper copy of the

datagram is optically scanned into a electronically transmittable



Multiple types of service can be provided with a prioritized pecking

order. An additional property is built-in worm detection and

eradication. Because IP only guarantees best effort delivery, loss

of a carrier can be tolerated. With time, the carriers are self-

Waitzman [Page 1]

RFC 1149 IP Datagrams on Avian Carriers 1 April 1990

regenerating. While broadcasting is not specified, storms can cause

data loss. There is persistent delivery retry, until the carrier

drops. Audit trails are automatically generated, and can often be

found on logs and cable trays.

Security Considerations

Security is not generally a problem in normal operation, but special

measures must be taken (such as data encryption) when avian carriers

are used in a tactical environment.

Author's Address

David Waitzman

BBN Systems and Technologies Corporation

BBN Labs Division

10 Moulton Street

Cambridge, MA 02238

Phone: (617) 873-4323

EMail: dwaitzman@BBN.COM

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  • 4 weeks later...

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't

mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both

patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the

hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He

sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled

him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act

she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she

now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news

and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were

able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life

of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound

mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his

bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon

can I go home?

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