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Make me laugh!


marolyn
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  • 2 weeks later...
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Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation,

died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur,

"Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have

changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone

you want in Heaven."

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said "I want to hang

out with God." St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and

introduced him to God.

Arthur then asked God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of woman"

God said, "Ah, yes."

Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some

major design flaws in your invention.

1. There! 's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion.

2. It chatters constantly at high speeds.

3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much.

4. The intake is placed way to close to the exhaust. And finally,

5. The maintenance costs are outrageous."

"Hmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "hold

on." God went to his Celestial super computer, typed in a few words

and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper

and God read it. "Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,"

God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are

riding my invention than yours."

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In an alcohol factory the regular wine taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.

A drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came to apply for the position.

The director of the factory wondered how to send him away.

They tested him anyway.

They gave him a glass with a drink. He tried it and said, "It's red wine, a Muscat , three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers."

"That's correct", said the boss.

Another glass.

"It's red wine, cabernet, eight years old, a south-western slope, oak barrels."

"Correct."

A third glass.

''It's champagne, high grade and exclusive'' calmly said the drunk.

The director was astonished.

He winked at his secretary to suggest something. She left the room, and came back in with a glass of urine. The alcoholic tried it.

"It's a blonde, 26 years old, pregnant in the third month and if I don't get the job, I'll name the father!"

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