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Make me laugh!


marolyn

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The wife asked at the door, “So where’s your paycheck this week? Been generous again, have you?”

“Certainly not,” was the reply. “I bought something for the house!”

“Well,” she said, “that’s different! What did you buy?”

“Twelve rounds of drinks,” I said.

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A man walks into a bar:

Man: Do you know anyone who'll kill my wife?

Bartman: see the man in the corner? - Artie - he'll do it. and he's cheap.

Man: Hey are you Artie?

Artie: Yes

Man: How much to kill my wife

Artie; A quid !

Man: A quid?

Artie: Yes - a quid

Man: Ok.Here's a Picture - it's not the best but she'll be in Tesco (supermarket) on Tuesday.

Tuesday comes and Artie's in Tesco. He spots (what he thinks is the man's wife). He walks up to her and strangles the woman and throws her on to the floor. He realises then it's the wrong woman. Then he spots her. He walks up to her and strangles her too. But then he is arrested by the police.

Headline in the paper the next day: ARTIE CHOKES 2 FOR A QUID IN TESCO!

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