weslgarlic Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 A traveling salesman is in a small town in the midwest, when his trip is suddenly prolonged for an extra month. He was already getting boredFinally, he decides to give in to temptation and visit the local brothel. He walks up to the madam and hands her a hundred dollars and says, "Give me the worst blowjob in town."The madam says, "For this kind of money, you can have the best blowjob.""No, no," says the man, "You don't understand, I'm not horny, I'm homesick." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plantpothead Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 Tommy Cooper joke : Man walks into a psychiatrist, covered in clingfilm .....the psychiatrist says. I can clearly see you're nuts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weslgarlic Posted August 24, 2013 Share Posted August 24, 2013 THE TOP TEN FUNNIEST JOKES OF THE FRINGE 1. Rob Auton - “I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa.” 2. Alex Horne - “I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop. It was sole-destroying.” 3. Alfie Moore - “I’m in a same-sex marriage… the sex is always the same.” 4. Tim Vine - “My friend told me he was going to a fancy dress party as an Italian island. I said to him ‘Don’t be Sicily.’” 5. Gary Delaney - “I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell.” 6. Phil Wang - “The Pope is a lot like Doctor Who. He never dies, just keeps being replaced by white men.” 7. Marcus Brigstocke - “You know you are fat when you hug a child and it gets lost.” 8. Liam Williams - “The universe implodes. No matter.” 9. Bobby Mair - “I was adopted at birth and have never met my mum. That makes it very difficult to enjoy any lapdance.” 10. Chris Coltrane - “The good thing about lending someone your time machine is that you basically get it back immediately.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anjin-san Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul carruthers Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slave to zep Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 OMG, this made me laugh so much ..... http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/054b81e03d/bonnie-tyler-total-eclipse-of-the-heart-literal-video-version Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weslgarlic Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 OMG, this made me laugh so much ..... http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/054b81e03d/bonnie-tyler-total-eclipse-of-the-heart-literal-video-version Q: What is the Australian animal that most resembles the Australian male? A: The wombat, because he eats, roots, and leaves. Q: Why do so many Australian men suffer premature ejaculation? A: Because they have to rush back to the pub to tell their mates what happened! Q: What did the Australian do after raking the leaves? A: He fell out of the tree Q: What do Australians put in their pockets that Americans throw away? A: Snot. Q: How many Australian men does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. It's a woman's job. Q: Why do kangaroos hate rainy days? A: Because their children play inside. Q: What is the difference between an Australian wedding and an Australian funeral? A: One less drunk at the funeral source: http://www.jokes4us.com/ethnicjokes/australianjokes/australianjokes.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SozoZoso Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 A series of hilarious reviews of a three wolf moon t shirt on Amazon http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B002DGFYFA/ref=dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weslgarlic Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weslgarlic Posted August 31, 2013 Share Posted August 31, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anjin-san Posted September 2, 2013 Share Posted September 2, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weslgarlic Posted September 3, 2013 Share Posted September 3, 2013 Spot on parody Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weslgarlic Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weslgarlic Posted September 7, 2013 Share Posted September 7, 2013 Frankie Boyle is going on hunger strike.I was surprised because I don't remember Jerry Sadowitz doing that 20 years ago. i'm not sure about this one ...................i think its ironic How do you get fifty Pakis in a hatchback? Dunno, but they manage it, don't they? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slave to zep Posted September 8, 2013 Share Posted September 8, 2013 (edited) edited to add : oops, hope this doesn't offend, i just love robin williams' live stuff .... Edited September 8, 2013 by slave to zep Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anjin-san Posted September 9, 2013 Share Posted September 9, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weslgarlic Posted September 9, 2013 Share Posted September 9, 2013 (edited) A Scottish Shepherd / Tour guide is taking a party around his local town " See all these houses ..............., I built them all , ................Do they call me Angus The House builder ..... No they do not " " See all these roads ............ I layed them all ,.............. Do they call me Angus The Road Constructor .... No they do not " " See all those fences.......... I erected them all ,........... do they call me Angus The Fence erector ...No they do not " ............... " I don't know you shag the one sheep " Edited September 9, 2013 by weslgarlic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul carruthers Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weslgarlic Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
apantherfrommd Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 [youtube=]http://youtu.be/dR_LHlFwlhk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TypeO Posted September 15, 2013 Share Posted September 15, 2013 [youtube=]http://youtu.be/dR_LHlFwlhk Classic. Never fails to crack me up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weslgarlic Posted September 15, 2013 Share Posted September 15, 2013 (edited) more cats Edited September 15, 2013 by weslgarlic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plantpothead Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 Do people with dyslexia have sex daily? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weslgarlic Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 Do people with dyslexia have sex daily? In between solving the countdown conundrum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MLE Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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