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marolyn

Make me laugh!

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A Woman.....

....was walking through the woods one day, and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes."

The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes-that whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!"

The woman said, "That would be okay," and for her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to."

The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me."

So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, "That will be okay because what is mine is his and what is his is mine."

So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, I'd like a mild heart attack."

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lol, i like the rich little versionj best :)

You could n't make it up

The Money or the Gun was an Australian comedy/talk-show on the ABC network. It ran from 1989 to 1990, with occasional specials until 1994. It was written by Andrew Denton, Simon Dodd, Bruce Griffiths, and George Dodd, directed by Martin Coombes and produced by Mark Fitzgerald.

Each episode was based on a significant theme, with Denton interviewing a number of people as well as conducting vox pops on the street. Significant episodes include "Guns-The Musical" and the award-winning episode on disabilities, "The Year of the Patronising Bastard" (which picked up a United Nations Media Peace Prize). In 1993, a one-off special was called "Topic of Cancer", which talked to teenagers with cancer (while at a CanTeen weekend). In 2003, Denton held a 10-year reunion for the people on the 1993 show, as part of his ABC interview programme Enough Rope.

"Stairway to Heaven"[edit]

Each week a guest would perform their own version of Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven". Versions would occasionally tie in with the theme of the episode ("Guns - the Musical" had a Broadway-style version by Jodie Gilles as the conclusion, while the episode on Australian Comedy had the Doug Anthony All Stars performing it with the assistance of Barry Crocker) but the most surprising of all was the version by Rolf Harris which eventually reached number 7 on the UK singles chart. Generally the performance of "Stairway" would be a break in the program and the artists would have no other part in the program.

Performers and styles included:

Two compilations of the performances were released in 1992: a video which featured 25 of the 26 performances,[1] and an album, called "Stairways to Heaven", which featured 22 of the 26 performances. [2] An album consisting of 12 tracks was released internationally in 1995. [3]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Money_or_the_Gun

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What do you think of this Geordie joke?

A Geordie is prowling around the red light district in Newcastle and finds a prostitute. He drops his pants and the lass says "my, that's a gud un".

He says, "what's a gud un?" She replies, "it means a big one".

She drops her knickers and he says, "that's a canny un". She asks, "what's a canny un?"

He replies, "a fu*king valley that a cowboy rides through".

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