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marolyn
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I imagine most people heard the story of the fake sign-language guy at the Nelson Mandela memorial service.

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Seems this guy was right on stage, right by all the scheduled speakers, including President Obama, basically pretending to sign what was being said for the benefit of those who are deaf.

Trouble is, he wasn't legit, and was just making it all up on the spot, flailing his arms as though it actually meant something.

Obviously, he was immediately noticed by people who are actually deaf, but no one in charge realized what was happening.

That is the context for this very funny link, wherein he has supposedly created a Twitter account to tell his side of the story to "defend himself".

http://twentytwowords.com/2013/12/12/sign-language-interpreter-at-mandelas-funeral-starts-twitter-account-to-defend-himself/

Here is the actual Twitter account > https://twitter.com/MemorialSigner

Good stuff!

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Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, Kin ya swallar?' The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?' The woman begins to turn blue, and shakes her head no. The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!

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:hysterical:

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her name plate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack.

So, he says, "Mrs. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.

The frog says "$30,000." The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it is OK, he knows the bank manager.

Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain pig, about half an inch tall. Bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says: "There is a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. And he wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink pig and says.

"This is his only collateral,what the heck is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says,

"It's a knick knack, Patti Whack.

Give the frog a loan.

His old man's a Rolling Stone."

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