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marolyn

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  • 2 weeks later...

Former skier and ex-wife of Paul McCartney, Heather Mills, joined Tubbers on the Late Late last night.

While it was a fairly standard interview, the topic of Macca came up which Mills, it seemed, wasn't too keen to talk about.

That, however, didn't stop her launching into a pretty damning appraisal of Macca's career.

As she puts it, he's just some guy who wrote "a few cool songs in the 60's and 70's" and that the only reason he collaborated with Kanye and Rihanna was to keep himself relevant.

"If I go down the street all I get is kids coming up to me and half of them don’t even know who he is. That’s why he’s got to do songs with Rihanna and Kanye West, so people remember."

"When I go down the street, it's 'Oh my god, you're a ski-racer' or 'you help the animals' or, y'know, I own the biggest vegan company in the world..."

Because all the kids on her street know about her vegan company.

Right so. Take a look at the interview and judge for yourself.

http://entertainment.ie/tv/news/Watch-Heather-Mills-went-to-town-on-Paul-McCartney-on-last-nights-Late-Late/354560.htm

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  • 2 weeks later...

A guy sends a text to his next-door neighbor:

"Bob, I'm sorry. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess: I have been helping myself to your wife when you're not around, probably more than you. I know it's no excuse but I don't get it at home. I can't live with the guilt any longer. I hope you'll accept my sincerest apology. It won't happen again."

Feeling outrage and betrayed, Bob grabs his gun, goes into the bedroom, and without a word, shoots his wife.

Moments later the guy gets a second text: "Really should use spell check! That should be "wifi"."

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  • 3 weeks later...

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce and asked,“What are the grounds for your divorce?"

She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."

"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

"It is made of concrete, brick, and mortar," she responded.

"I mean," he continued, "what are your relations like?"

"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, as well as my husband's parents."

The judge took a deep breath and asked, "Do you have a real grudge?"

"No," she replied, "we have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."

"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

“Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but we can't seem to do anything about it."

"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"

"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?

"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me."

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