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Bitchin Soul

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Don't fall for it, DZLDOC!

Don't do it!!!

:lol:

Resist spats non-charms!

What's wrong? I am just giving examples of the relationships i know. You only want to hear "beautiful stories" or reality? I gave you an example of good realtionship i know and some crummy ones.

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What's wrong? I am just giving examples of the relationships i know. You only want to hear "beautiful stories" or reality? I gave you an example of good realtionship i know and some crummy ones.

nomeansnojohnchedseycolor1_thumb.jpg

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well as Stephen Sondheim once wrote:

"It's not so hard to be married,

It's much the simplest of crimes.

It's not so hard to be married,

I've done it three or four times"

That's funny. :D

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We've been married for 17 years and together for almost 20 (with 3 beautiful kids!). He is really a wonderful guy; he's very kind, laid back, funny, spontaneous, outgoing and knows everybody in a 100 mile radius :lol: He is also a wonderful father, very community-minded and family-oriented.

Sometimes we do drive each other nuts, because in some ways we're very different and in other ways exactly alike (both pretty stubborn!) but we work it out and have a great partnership. I truly love him and can't imagine being married to anybody else. I definitely consider him to be my best friend. :wub:

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well as Stephen Sondheim once wrote:

"It's not so hard to be married,

It's much the simplest of crimes.

It's not so hard to be married,

I've done it three or four times"

One of my favorite shows!!

Been living with my husband for 16 years and been married for 5. I didn't get into a committed relationship until I was in my 30's because I didn't think I should jump into anything this important until I was good and ready - I never was one of those girls who wanted the princess wedding.

I love my husband. Living with someone is always an adjustment, but if you talk it over, you can work it out. It's the best thing that could have happened to me.

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Just curious. How many of you are happy in your current relationship? Would you pick this person again?

Well...I hate to be a downer as my natural tendency is to be upbeat, positive & optimistic. And at the risk of sounding like the female, married counterpart of spats, I have to honestly answer your questions with a resounding NO and NO. In fact, I have often thought that my 25 year marriage has been like a prison sentence. As in "I've done my time but have committed no crime". Just 5 more years until our daughter graduates and I will set myself free.

I do however very much appreciate & enjoy seeing all the positive responses in this thread. It's nice to see that strong, lasting relationships are indeed possible (well, my parents had that so I've seen it first-hand) and hopefully I can learn something from you all. And I agree with the ones who said that they would pick their spouse again if only because of the beautiful child/ren they produced together.

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Well...I hate to be a downer as my natural tendency is to be upbeat, positive & optimistic. And at the risk of sounding like the female, married counterpart of spats, I have to honestly answer your questions with a resounding NO and NO. In fact, I have often thought that my 25 year marriage has been like a prison sentence. As in "I've done my time but have committed no crime". Just 5 more years until our daughter graduates and I will set myself free.

I do however very much appreciate & enjoy seeing all the positive responses in this thread. It's nice to see that strong, lasting relationships are indeed possible (well, my parents had that so I've seen it first-hand) and hopefully I can learn something from you all. And I agree with the ones who said that they would pick their spouse again if only because of the beautiful child/ren they produced together.

I really appreciate your candor, AWABW. Thanks for being so honest. There are probably many more here like you but not everyone has the guts to post so truthfully. You remind me of some of my friends from college - bright, beautiful women whose spirits were almost broken by less-then-great marriages. They would have left years ago but stayed for the sake of their children. I pray that you find love, happiness, and peace of mind in the next phase of your life.

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AWABW, MSG is right. I'm glad that you shared. Hopefully those in good relationships will treaure theirs even more. I'm not in a relationship, I have plenty of time ahead of me for that, right now school is important so I have a good future ahead of me. Those that shared about their wonderful relationships, I'm glad you did. Almost everyone I know has parents who have been divorced at least once and it's good to hear that good relationships are still out there.

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My boyfriend is great.

If it weren't for him, I wouldn't have gotten through this past year of school. I'd have two or more years left to get my bachelor's degree. Seriously. He's done a great job of taking care of me when I need extra care, and he's also sacrificed many things so I can have the education I want.

To top if off? He's also proud of me!

God, I love that man.

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In fact, I have often thought that my 25 year marriage has been like a prison sentence. As in "I've done my time but have committed no crime". Just 5 more years until our daughter graduates and I will set myself free.

How easy is that to do after 25 years though?

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Why does everyone think that having a long lasting marriage is the key to happiness? Why do people want that? Why are people happy to see that? Why can't you just have fun with a lot of different people? Why is that looked at as something to strive for? That's the right way to go. Why do young women dream about this?

Me and some friends were at a my favorite sushi place the other night and there were a group of teenage girls eating and chatting about this stuff? A couple were even saying "i am going to name my first born..blah, blah, blah". We couldn't believe what we were hearing? Is it just that society has beat it into people's head that that is how it's supposed to be?

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Why does everyone think that having a long lasting marriage is the key to happiness? Why do people want that? Why are people happy to see that? Why can't you just have fun with a lot of different people? Why is that looked at as something to strive for? That's the right way to go. Why do young women dream about this?

Me and some friends were at a my favorite sushi place the other night and there were a group of teenage girls eating and chatting about this stuff? A couple were even saying "i am going to name my first born..blah, blah, blah". We couldn't believe what we were hearing? Is it just that society has beat it into people's head that that is how it's supposed to be?

It seems to me that you are not capable of being emotionally attached to someone? Very sad.

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Why does everyone think that having a long lasting marriage is the key to happiness? Why do people want that? Why are people happy to see that? Why can't you just have fun with a lot of different people? Why is that looked at as something to strive for? That's the right way to go. Why do young women dream about this?

Me and some friends were at a my favorite sushi place the other night and there were a group of teenage girls eating and chatting about this stuff? A couple were even saying "i am going to name my first born..blah, blah, blah". We couldn't believe what we were hearing? Is it just that society has beat it into people's head that that is how it's supposed to be?

That's just your impression Spats, not reality. I was married for three years in my 20's, and that was over twenty years ago. I'm not interested in doing it again, but that doesn't mean it couldn't happen. Most couples I know that are married, can't take a vacation with their spouse any longer than I can with my current girlfriend. 4-5 days seems to be about the limit before a potential homicide starts to brew. The older people get, the less patience they have. It doesn't matter what your status is. Everyone has a vision of how their life is supposed to plan out in the future, but as Lennon once sang, "Life is what happens while your busy making other plans". You can only plan so much, and that includes relationships. If you don't want a wife and kids, don't have them. It's not as unusual as you might think, and quite common in certain walks of life like the teaching field. You need to stop worrying about what other people think. You should also stop taking advice, because no one can tell you what you want to do...only you can do that. There is no right or wrong way....only your way. There's 3 Billion women in the world, and it's your job alone to find the one(s) that interest you. You want a trophy wife ?....go find one. Or, "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, get an ugly woman to be your wife." If you want to smoke some cigar, you can cut those odds in half. Nobody really cares. Personally, I think you need a horny, seasoned, 40 year old mother with some stretch-marks to turn off the lights and show you some magic...suck that poison out of you that seems to be clouding your ability to reason about such things....but that's just me.

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Why does everyone think that having a long lasting marriage is the key to happiness? Why do people want that? Why are people happy to see that? Why can't you just have fun with a lot of different people? Why is that looked at as something to strive for? That's the right way to go. Why do young women dream about this?

Me and some friends were at a my favorite sushi place the other night and there were a group of teenage girls eating and chatting about this stuff? A couple were even saying "i am going to name my first born..blah, blah, blah". We couldn't believe what we were hearing? Is it just that society has beat it into people's head that that is how it's supposed to be?

To each they're own ! Personally, I think people should just follow they're own instincts and be happy in which ever way they choose. In our case, I know for a fact that my wife is more than capable of handling her own life , with or without me. We alway's wanted children, but in the context of a happy, complete life. Personally, I don't think that it is a duty to have them but, that is coming from a guy's point of view.

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I would answer you spats, but I think I might have a brain hemorrhage trying to... lol, j/k. Honestly, spats, it's just how it is for some people. I want to be married because I see what my parents have.

Let me tell you something. I was born a year and a week before my parents were married. I am part of the reason my parents got married (Dad was already planning on proposing, of course, but he didn't until about a week after I was born, and she wouldn't have said yes right away if I hadn't been born... she would have taken time to think about it... in fact, they married a year later on the exact date my Dad proposed to my Mom). When I turned three, due to issues with his family and the fact that he was off-track (he needed to find himself, as I do now), plus because of his job, Dad moved to Georgia while we stayed in Connecticut. Not only were my parents legally separated, but Dad did, in fact, have a girlfriend in Georgia, one whom I had met and even hung out with once as a kid... she and Dad once took me to the zoo when I visited him by myself. I did find out later that they never slept together, though, and, in fact, in those 9 years, Dad didn't sleep with anyone.

Partly thanks to this girlfriend (she basically sat my Mom and Dad down and told my Dad that he loved my Mom and he should stop being a dick and get back with her), my Mom and Dad did not go through with any divorce, and after 9 years of separation, Mom, my younger brother, and I moved in with Dad in Georgia, they renewed their vows, and they have been happily married ever since. The two love each other madly (at times it can be embarrassing), and even though they get pissed with each other, often (mainly over money), they always make up, they never go to bed mad at each other, and I promise you they will never, ever divorce.

I have grown up with this happiness since I was in 3rd grade, and so I want to have that happiness myself. At the moment I'm single, but I know what I'm looking for in a girl. Someone who's as in to music as I am and maybe plays an instrument, will give me the independence I need, will understand that music is my life, and will trust me. I want that girl to be independent as well, and also trustworthy. What I do not want, however, is a trophy wife or a controlling wife.

But I want to spend the rest of my life with someone I love because that is, for me, at least, the fullest form of happiness. All I'd ever need to be truly happy is my music, a great wife, and two great kids. I'd need nothing else.

Oh, I'd have much else... if I get to the level I want to be at in my life, I'll have tons of money. And you can bet I'll use it. I'm horrible with money... I make money and I rush to spend it. It doesn't just burn a hole in my pockets... it burns a hole in my skin... but those are wants. It's only a fulfillment of our needs that can make us truly happy.

ETA:

Why does this:

dontfeedthespats.gif

look like it says "Don't feed the apata"?

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It says "don't feed the spats", but it's kinda hard to read. I got it from someone else...How about this?

troll.jpg

It's from Mandy. I ask because I opened it with photoshop and zoomed in quite a bit... the first and last letters in the name both look like "a," even zoomed in.

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