sirchris Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Back due to popular demand! (one person asked) Aunties Advice Clinic is opening it's doors once again. - Something on your chest? (i.e. a growth or a rash) - Confessions to make? ("I killed a man with a stapler - what should I do?") - Questioning your sexuality ("I'm in love with a labrador") ASK AUNTIE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel With A Broken Wing Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 WOOHOOO, free advice! This is great Auntie. Be prepared for a spats onslaught. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmie ray Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 My wife just got me a new cell phone. I asked for a simple one, with no gadgets - but it has a camera, which is something I've never owned or been interested in before. She says we can take some "nudge, nudge, click, click, say no more" type pictures. My friend and a coworker just informed me that this is very common, and they've seen some of their friends' special shots - without even asking to see them. Is this something to get into - or am I just asking for trouble??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZepFloyd Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 My wife just got me a new cell phone. I asked for a simple one, with no gadgets - but it has a camera, which is something I've never owned or been interested in before. She says we can take some "nudge, nudge, click, click, say no more" type pictures. My friend and a coworker just informed me that this is very common, and they've seen some of their friends' special shots - without even asking to see them. Is this something to get into - or am I just asking for trouble??? HAHAHAAHA what a great way to start this thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bitchin Soul Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 My wife just got me a new cell phone. I asked for a simple one, with no gadgets - but it has a camera, which is something I've never owned or been interested in before. She says we can take some "nudge, nudge, click, click, say no more" type pictures. My friend and a coworker just informed me that this is very common, and they've seen some of their friends' special shots - without even asking to see them. Is this something to get into - or am I just asking for trouble??? Well don't leave us hanging! LOL LETS SEE THE PICS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenderguy Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Yes, it definitely should be a decision by committee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmie ray Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Hey - I went first in this thread, but not planning on showing anything first. Besides, my show didn't even start yet... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pb Derigable Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Dear auntie, Is Valve 346B for the 350 pound steam, or is it for the heated natural gas. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Other than her just coming out and saying it (which women do not seem to want to do) What is a 100% sure sign that a girl wants to hook up with you? Because being nice and flirting isn't it. Women here will even admit they have flirted with guys that they were not interested in. I don't want anymore mixed signals and i don't want to be unsure of the girls intentions. I don't want to be played with or teased or left hanging anymore. This has happened a couple times recently. Why can't honesty be the way to go with this stuff? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lzfan715 Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Spats, if do you want to come out and say it? No, you don't. You want her to say it so you don't have to put yourself on the line. Well, guess what, she doesn't want to be put on the line like that either. P.S. For Spats, are you a Led Zeppelin fan? I never see you post about them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirchris Posted June 20, 2008 Author Share Posted June 20, 2008 My wife just got me a new cell phone. I asked for a simple one, with no gadgets - but it has a camera, which is something I've never owned or been interested in before. She says we can take some "nudge, nudge, click, click, say no more" type pictures. My friend and a coworker just informed me that this is very common, and they've seen some of their friends' special shots - without even asking to see them. Is this something to get into - or am I just asking for trouble??? Dear Jimmie, Your wife is obviously a harlot of the most deranged nature. Her complete disregard of your mobile phone preferences suggests to me that she is either a) an adulteress or a communist. Both these conclusions are equally dangerous to you but it depends on whether you regard a broken heart or a broken society as being more damaging. My advice would be to interogate her mercilessly until she confesses to being one or the other. Lots of love. Auntie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirchris Posted June 20, 2008 Author Share Posted June 20, 2008 Dear auntie, Is Valve 346B for the 350 pound steam, or is it for the heated natural gas. Thanks. Dear Pb, I presume you are referring to regulating ball valves? The 340 series electrical regulating valves are designed to produce linear flow regulation and shutoff control in agricultural applications. Both models are available in several styles and motor speeds to accommodate different types of applications. This being said the relatively low power consumption of the 346B means it would lend itself to use with heated natural gas. Lots of love, Auntie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirchris Posted June 20, 2008 Author Share Posted June 20, 2008 Other than her just coming out and saying it (which women do not seem to want to do) What is a 100% sure sign that a girl wants to hook up with you? Because being nice and flirting isn't it. Women here will even admit they have flirted with guys that they were not interested in. I don't want anymore mixed signals and i don't want to be unsure of the girls intentions. I don't want to be played with or teased or left hanging anymore. This has happened a couple times recently. Why can't honesty be the way to go with this stuff? Dear Spats, I can only speak from experience but the surest way to a womans heart is to offer her for sacrifice. She will have no choice but to accept your love for her if you are willing to splice her open in the name of a deity or pagan 'crop bringing' ritual. I find the best way to get her to agree is to catch her off guard, maybe suprise her and tether her to a wooden frame whilst she's sleeping. Of course, there are no certainties in the game of love so just keep on trying and if your really struggling, try Rohypnol. Lots of Love, Auntie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Dear Spats, I can only speak from experience but the surest way to a womans heart is to offer her for sacrifice. She will have no choice but to accept your love for her if you are willing to splice her open in the name of a deity or pagan 'crop bringing' ritual. I find the best way to get her to agree is to catch her off guard, maybe suprise her and tether her to a wooden frame whilst she's sleeping. Of course, there are no certainties in the game of love so just keep on trying and if your really struggling, try Rohypnol. Lots of Love, Auntie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenderguy Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Dear Auntie; I am presently experiencing a certain type of enlargement that has now lasted for more than four hours. The directions on the package say that I should call my doctor in this situation. But I was wondering if I could just hook up with a naughty nurse instead. Could you help me with that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suz Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Auntie! You sick fuck! *ahem* Should I get my hair cut? It gets out of control in the summer time. Should I accept my out-of-control hair, or should I chop it off and show the bitch who's boss? I actually don't care that much; just thought I'd better ask for some advice while I'm in here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spats Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Spats, if do you want to come out and say it? No, you don't. You want her to say it so you don't have to put yourself on the line. Well, guess what, she doesn't want to be put on the line like that either. P.S. For Spats, are you a Led Zeppelin fan? I never see you post about them. Well then how is anything going to get going if no one puts themselves on the line??? And if she is the one flirting then why shouldn't she be the one to put herself on the line? I just want them to be honest. Women can't really give the excuse that they are afraid to be rejected because 9 times out of 10 a pretty girl will not get rejected. Guys don't usually turn down pretty girls. There is not really a rejection risk for women at all. Besides, the point was that flirting does not mean the person is really interested and it can cause mixed signals. Or maybe women just aren't good at flirting. You would think if one is a good flirter then you would know for sure if the person is interested. Wouldn't ya think? I have had experiences where a girl flirted with me and it turned out she wasn't interested and then i had a girl who wasn't obviously flirting and my buddies said the girl was definatley interested in me. WTF????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirchris Posted June 20, 2008 Author Share Posted June 20, 2008 Dear Auntie; I am presently experiencing a certain type of enlargement that has now lasted for more than four hours. The directions on the package say that I should call my doctor in this situation. But I was wondering if I could just hook up with a naughty nurse instead. Could you help me with that? Dear Fenderguy, You blaggard! How dare you sully this clinic with your lewd innuendo! I suggest before you even start to attempt to deal with your 'enlargement' you should wash your mind out with soap and warm water. Also be careful as there are such things as 'male nurses' in these days of ridiculous political correctness. Whatever next? Female lawyers?... Lots of love, Auntie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirchris Posted June 20, 2008 Author Share Posted June 20, 2008 Should I get my hair cut? It gets out of control in the summer time. Should I accept my out-of-control hair, or should I chop it off and show the bitch who's boss? Dear Suz, I assume from the tone of your voice you are of grecian decent. A typically hirsuit race if ever there were one. Why waste your money on endless haircuts when your body hair grows faster than Gordon Ramseys sense of self-importance? Simply braid every single hair on your body into an all-over body tunic. Simple really. Lots of love, Auntie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suz Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Dear Suz, I assume from the tone of your voice you are of grecian decent. A typically hirsuit race if ever there were one. Why waste your money on endless haircuts when your body hair grows faster than Gordon Ramseys sense of self-importance? Simply braid every single hair on your body into an all-over body tunic. Simple really. Lots of love, Auntie. Thanks, Auntie, you're the best! I shall french braid my entire body! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JethroTull Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 I'm a 52 year old male. What are the chances of me forming a cutting edge rock band? I'd like to be the singer, but would settle for tambourine player. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternal light Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 Dear Auntie, It's hot outside, I just woke up from a nap, and my head hurts. What is your best advice for a headache? Cheers, Eternal Light Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirchris Posted June 21, 2008 Author Share Posted June 21, 2008 Thanks, Auntie, you're the best! I shall french braid my entire body! Thank you Suz. You will be billed accordingly. Expect an itemised bill in the post in the next week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lzfan715 Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 I'm a 52 year old male. What are the chances of me forming a cutting edge rock band? I'd like to be the singer, but would settle for tambourine player. I'm not going to lie, they are slim. However, I say if you want something you have to go for it! So you should give it your best shot and hope for the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suz Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 Thank you Suz. You will be billed accordingly. Expect an itemised bill in the post in the next week. Dammit. I'm leaving you for Dear Abby....or whichever one is still alive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.