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Posted

Aunties back after 1 year to 18 months spent 'away' on bogus charges and The Clinic is back is business.

Any takers?

So how can we trust an advice clinician who disappears and abandons all the vulnerable souls around here? :unsure:

Talk about attachment and loss :blink:

Theres been fuck all decent advice around here in your absence, you will have to earn your money Sir Christopher ;)

Posted

:wave:

Just good to see you back, Auntie!

Ok:

Know any good spells to cast on an obnoxious neighbor?

Wouldn't want to physically see her harm, but any way to just kinda mess up her head a wee bit?

Posted

So how can we trust an advice clinician who disappears and abandons all the vulnerable souls around here? :unsure:

Talk about attachment and loss :blink:

Theres been fuck all decent advice around here in your absence, you will have to earn your money Sir Christopher ;)

I was on an enforced sabbatical after certain 'accounting discrepancies' were detected but all charges were eventually dropped in mysterious circumstances.

I'm sorry that you've had to fend for yourselves for a while, I see you've reverted to a shivering foetus in my absence.

YOU CAN TRUST AUNTIE YOU CAN TRUST AUNTIE YOU CAN TRUST AUNTIE YOU CAN TRUST AUNTIE YOU CAN TRUST AUNTIE YOU CAN TRUST AUNTIE YOU CAN TRUST AUNTIE YOU CAN TRUST AUNTIE YOU CAN TRUST AUNTIE YOU CAN TRUST AUNTIE YOU CAN TRUST AUNTIE YOU CAN TRUST AUNTIE YOU CAN TRUST AUNTIE YOU CAN TRUST AUNTIE YOU CAN TRUST AUNTIE YOU CAN TRUST AUNTIE YOU CAN TRUST AUNTIE YOU CAN TRUST AUNTIE YOU CAN TRUST AUNTIE YOU CAN TRUST AUNTIE YOU CAN TRUST AUNTIE

Posted

:wave:

Just good to see you back, Auntie!

Ok:

Know any good spells to cast on an obnoxious neighbor?

Wouldn't want to physically see her harm, but any way to just kinda mess up her head a wee bit?

Dear Hotplant,

I believe you are thinking on too small a scale. Start with something quick and easy like smearing medical waste all over her property and pushing it through every available point of entry. If the message still isn't getting through then try upping the ante with something simple and elegant like a burning cross erected on her lawn, it always did the job in my day.

Lots Of Love,

Auntie.

Posted

I was on an enforced sabbatical after certain 'accounting discrepancies' were detected but all charges were eventually dropped in mysterious circumstances.

I'm sorry that you've had to fend for yourselves for a while, I see you've reverted to a shivering foetus in my absence.

I have been reborn and I fend quite well for myself but I fear for others around here who without your guidance and wisdom have stuggeld emotionally, psychologically and sexually. B)

I was saying so to my imaginary friends the other day but they refuse to acknowledge me as one of their their imaginary friend. Any advice Auntie?

Posted (edited)

So how can we trust an advice clinician who disappears and abandons all the vulnerable souls around here? unsure.gif

Talk about attachment and loss blink.gif

Theres been fuck all decent advice around here in your absence, you will have to earn your money Sir Christopher wink.gif

We boot her with a plug nickle and sacrifice 10 virgins...

hysterical.gifhysterical.gif Joking, gals, guys, in betweens hippy.gif

Edited by Mary Hartman
Posted

I have been reborn and I fend quite well for myself but I fear for others around here who without your guidance and wisdom have stuggeld emotionally, psychologically and sexually. B)

I was saying so to my imaginary friends the other day but they refuse to acknowledge me as one of their their imaginary friend. Any advice Auntie?

Dear Ledded1,

I can only imagine your 'friends' neglect to acknowledge you because you don't attract enough attention to yourself. I suggest you meet your friends somewhere public like a town centre for example, remove all your clothes except your socks, start dancing frenectically and then try talking to your friends. I'm sure you'll attract all the attention you need.

Lots of Love,

Auntie.

Posted

Dear Ledded1,

I can only imagine your 'friends' neglect to acknowledge you because you don't attract enough attention to yourself. I suggest you meet your friends somewhere public like a town centre for example, remove all your clothes except your socks, start dancing frenectically and then try talking to your friends. I'm sure you'll attract all the attention you need.

Lots of Love,

Auntie.

Dear Auntie, thats ok for some people but i work in menatal health and that would attract the police who would then take me to a place of safety (psychiatric hospital)under section 136 of the mental health act and my dilemma would be that the people i work with would then need to forcibly treat me probably under section 3 of the mental health act. Not soemthing either side would relish.

So perhaps I should stay away from my imaginary friends and find some new ones who are not fussy about their own imaginary friends and would welcome me into their fold. What do you think?

ps what sort of socks???

Posted

Dear Auntie,

Every year I plant flowers on my patio, but they never seem to grow. Any suggestions?

Sincerely,

Flower Power-less

Posted

Dear Auntie,

Every year I plant flowers on my patio, but they never seem to grow. Any suggestions?

Sincerely,

Flower Power-less

Dear Bonnie (How's Delaney? He's stopped answering my calls.)

Can I suggest using soil?

Lots of Love,

Auntie.

Posted

Dear Auntie,

Am I drunk or are the bitch's in this saloon looking like heifers?

I think I popped a staple or 20.

:hysterical:

Dear Mary Hartman,

I think you maybe drunk. But you are still beautiful in Gods eyes.

Lots of Love,

Auntie.

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